Getting nervous about new baby coming

I love my family. I love the boys. I love our routine. Our time together.

I am starting to freak out about how much things are going to change once the baby comes.

Normal?

For those of you who've been there, what was the transition like?

I am having a c/s so it kills me that I won't be able to hold the boys for a week or two.

I hate that I won't be able to give them as much time.



Am I just a hormonal pregnant lady?

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

I'm the same way (and I think due about the same time). I feel soooo sorry for DS #1. I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever. I know eventually things will be OK, and he will adjust, but it will be a hard transition, for all of us.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

I just brought my new DD home last week and have a 2.5y/o DD already. The hormones didn't help, but I was a mess. It was incredibly hard for me to say goodbye to our solo time together and come to the realization that things are forever changed. For the better, of course, but in the throes if post partum raging hormones, it's difficult to see that. I found some solace in stealing away a few minutes with my older DD to read a book, snuggle or put her to bed. That has helped me a lot. On the flip side, she has been fantastic and hasn't missed a beat. It's been me, not her, who has been the basket case. Funny though, she seems like a giant now compared to baby! I imagine it'll take a few months to settle into a routine and find our new identity as a bigger family.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

I am leaning on two thoughts that will hopefully help me through this in a few months:

First is that DS was the first born and will have 2 entire years as the only child and with all that one on one attention. Baby #2 will never have any alone time, will always be the second and will always share time. So that helps me feel like DS got a special blessing.

Second is that DS at 26 months will still be young enough to HOPEFULLY (I PRAY!!!) adapt easily to the change. I personally don't remember anything from being 2 years old or younger, so I hope no matter what happens, he won't be traumatized in any way.

I am hoping that DH and I can "tag team" the kids. So while I'm nursing the new baby, he can hang with DS. And when DD is off the boob, I can give DS personal attention and DH & I will switch off. Now, I think the first few months will be hard, especially with mommy not getting any rest, but I'm hoping that after a few months we'll find a new routine that we'll love just as much as the current routine we have with just DS.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Posted by nov04libride
I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

ahhh I feel the same way. I am actually sooo nervous about how my 20 month old DD will take the new addition to the family. All our attention has been on her and now someone new is coming in the picture. I actually feel guilty for putting her through this. She is sooooo attached to me. I don't know how she is going to handle it. It is my breaking my heart just thinking of it. I have 44 days left and I want to spend as much time with her as possible until the baby comes. Ohhh I am so dreading this. I hope it's a smooth transition for everyone!

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Posted by Bella01

Posted by nov04libride

I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever

this just made me cry

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Posted by nov04libride

Posted by Bella01

Posted by nov04libride

I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever

this just made me cry

I'm a total hormonal third trimester mess, so Ive been crying about this! I see DS's little face soooo excited to see me every morning and I think he'll be put on the back burner for a while, and it makes me so sad, picturing him not knowing what he did wrong that we don't pay as much attention to him anymore.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Message edited 1/9/2012 10:04:06 AM.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Not in the same position yet, but I think that;s very normal!

Soon you will have a new routine and you'll love every second of it. It will be different and an adjustment, but will be amazing!

Enjoy the time you have now with the boys! I always get nervous when a big change is about to happen; I think we all do

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Posted by nov04libride

I'm the same way (and I think due about the same time). I feel soooo sorry for DS #1. I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever. I know eventually things will be OK, and he will adjust, but it will be a hard transition, for all of us.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

Posted by MAC222

Posted by nov04libride

I'm the same way (and I think due about the same time). I feel soooo sorry for DS #1. I read an article that for the first born, coming home with a new baby is like for us our spouse coming home with another woman, who will be living with us forever. I know eventually things will be OK, and he will adjust, but it will be a hard transition, for all of us.

That is ridiculous-please don't believe that article!! I can't believe those two could be compared. Let me tell you about how it went for our family:

DS1 was 21 months when we brought home DS2. From that day, it was like DS1's mission to protect his new little brother . If he cries, he tells me, if he thinks he is hungry, he tells me. He smells his butt, and tells me to change him. If I run into a friend, and that person starts to talk to him, he points with pride at his baby brother. It is more than any mothers heart can handle! DS2 is 4 months now, and just starting to really sit up, belly laugh, and DS1 asks for him now.

I can count on one hand, the # of times he has been "mad" at the baby, and it is very short lived.

I think it is completely normal to have apprehension when there is going to be a big family change. I know that some new big siblings have a hard time. I think the age of the older sibling is a factor. I meet a lot of people who say it was really tough. But I don't think the problems with adding a sibling ever outweigh the crazy love and joy that completely overwhelms a mommys heart.

Message edited 1/9/2012 10:16:46 AM.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

i thought i would be stressing out but im actually not. i am 22 weeks right now so maybe towards the end i will be more emotional. but i am so happy for my DD that she will have a sister.
she will have a buddy forever.
DD will be 33 months old when DD2 is born.

I have to say DD is super excited about the baby and having a sister. she just comes up to me hugs my belly, says hi sister, im waiting for you, im going to share this with you, she feeds my bellybutton lol, she says i love you,
ofcourse all these things might change and probably there will be jelousy BUT i think everyone gets through it and we will too.
The other day DD was acting up and i raised my voice at her and told her to stop - and she started crying and already went to "her sister" for comfort - she went to my belly and was crying and was saying i love you sister i love you.
omg and that made me so happy - bc i know that me and my sisters - whenever we would get in trouble when we were younger and even older, we would always just look at each other and have our own little signs and we were there for each other. so i know it will be ok :)

and whoever wrote that article about comparing that its like brining a lover to the hosue clearly is a moron. SOrry! How do you compare the 2?

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

I am stressing as well. DH has been working a lot so I have been spending a lot of time alone with DS - and we both seem to like it. Both DH and I are only children so we're not sure what it's like to share a parents attention.

I held a cousin's baby over Christmas and the look I received could kill - and since then, he has been slow to acknowledge any baby.

I know the first couple of weeks are going to be rough but, I'm planning on doing special things with DS on his days home from school - just me and him - or me, him and DH - like going to the playground or the zoo or something like that.

Re: Getting nervous about new baby coming

I was in the very same boat as you last year.
The hardest part for me was watching other people take care of my twins, and they didn't seem to care at all. Honesty, the adjustment for them was nothing. Never any jealousy issues, or anything like that. I really think because they always had to share the attention, bringing in another kid was nothing to them. They were like "ok" there's a baby in the house, and that was that.
Then once I was back to myself after recovering from the c-section, we started a new routine with 3 kids and it was like we had been doing it forever.