Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

I know I am constantly bringing this up but My anxiety level is getting worse..

I am 36wks pregnant and its coming time soon where this baby will be here.. I am so scared my baby Lola is going to get upset and depressed.. I will never delibrately do anything to hurt her but I just think having this baby in my arms is going to break her heart..

All I do is hold her kiss her and play with her ALL day.. I ususally take her all over with me.. My moms house, sisters, friends if they dont mind of course.. i pay so much attention to her and I think about her from the minute i leave my house till I come home.. She follows me EVERYWHERE (yes bathroom and all ) and I love her.. I even follow her around sometimes!! If I dont have her in my site at all times I am looking to see where she is.. We are so in love its crazy.. I know I must sound like a nut case but I am so upset over this and its all i think about.. Has anyone else experienced this kind of anxiety and fear.. and if you did how did it end up????

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

OMG sounds like you are telling my story, but I'm not PG yet! I treat my baby like a kid and my mom is telling me that I should stop it now before we TTC, so that she won't be shell-shocked. I just can't stop now! I love her to pieces and keep telling myself that when we do have kids, she'll adjust and be OK. I'll still have time to play with her and love her...I'm sure you will work your baby into your routine as well. Think about what mommies of twins or multiple children do...right?

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

i hate to tell you, but you need to cut your time with her down NOW. that way it's not a shock to her and she'll be resentful towards the baby :( its hard, believe me, i know! i am unemployed and have 3 babies and trying to cut my time with them is really a struggle for me.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

I agree that you should work on this now. Part of loving her is doing what's best for her, and this is definitely that time, even if it's going to mean less attention. What's better, to acclimate her to it now, or when you can't take the time to do it right? I know you're anxious, I'm sorry. I hope it will all work out for you.

Hey, weird idea, what about getting a doll and doting on it when she's around? To kind of get her used to you paying loving attention to something other than her?

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

D, you know I won't lie to you.

I understand your fears. I had them too. My dogs are my babies, and were so used to getting so much attention from me and DH. My male dog follows me around and is my buddy, my girl could take or leave me, she prefers DH.

They responded amazingly great to DD. We still take them with us to families houses, along with baby. We vowed to do as much as we could with them, like we used to.

I can't deny I/we have a bit less time (don't forget we have 2 dogs, not one). But they really have adjusted amazingly....as I think LOLA will. They LOVE LOVE LOVE going for walks with baby. They get super excited when they see DDs stroller come out, as they know we are all going for a walk.

She may have a hard time adjusting, I can't deny, as dogs know when change occurs. But in the beginning, baby will sleep much of the time, for months actually most babies sleep. So it's a great time for adjustment and cuddle time for Lola.

I really know you much you are worried. I felt like I was betraying my babies, but they really do just fine now. They adapt very quickly. FM me if you want to chat.

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Message edited 5/26/2009 2:10:37 PM.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

ETA- I just read the other responses and I have to say I NEVER cut back my time with my dogs, who have been in my life for years now, before baby. Never took out a doll, etc.

What I did do was set up all the babies stuff, allow my doggies into baby's new room to get used to everything, all the stuff. I was worried my dogs would be upset by the stuff, the noises, the music, etc as they HATE stuff like that. But NO, they did just great and I know having that stuff set up for a mth before baby came helped them to realize the house had changed. Then baby was just the next addition.

DOGS truly understand babies...and they accept baby as part of the pack. A neighbor vet of mine told me that...and he couldn't have been more correct. My dogs had NEVER seen or come close to a baby or a child in their lives, until DD. And they aren't too nice to kids on the street even. But they love and accept DD just fine, it just came naturally to them b/c we make sure we pay alot of attention to them, give them treats, still let them sleep on our bed, go into DDs room, etc. It has all worked out perfectly, despite my worry over it.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

well i can tell u,, it'll be ok! my DS was born when my pup turned 1 1/2........
i missed him so much when i was in the hospital but...... its really ok! in the beginning u will have lots of visitors so dog will be distracted and get MORE attention from everyone. i make my guests play w/ dog before son. i make them throw him toys. and he loves all the new gadgets a new baby brings into the home.. its exciting for him too! my dog still is by our side all the time. its actually great, those late nite feeding i actually had his company. i didnt feel all alone in the middle of the night. he still comes w/ us to moms, sisters etc..... i just have to make 10 trips to the car now these days..... i take them both for daily walks. the 3 of us cuddle... listen it'll be ok! now baby is 6 months.... and i think my dog likes him better then me... they lay on floor on blanket together... licks his feet. protects him. i can never imagine my baby or dog growing up w/ out each other now..... they both are so luck to have each other... btw, u made me tear up writing this.. this is how special their bond is

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

The most important thing I can recommend is to make your dog every bit a part of *family time* as possible once the baby gets here. Many owners tend to put the pets away when they are playing with the baby. Then when baby goes to sleep, they play with the dog. This teaches the dog that baby=no attention.

In our house, we have a time after dinner where DH and I sit on the floor with both kids and we all play with the dog. My oldest is now old enough to play "fetch" and throws Luna's ball.

Luna tolerates them much better than I initially thought she would. She still has to be watched like a hawk, but any dog should when around small children.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Thank you everyone for your responses.. I think my plan of action is to include her in everything.. I am going to be bfdng and I know it wiil be hard but I will sit her right next to us on the big chair I have..

I tried the doll thing.. She barks and jumps up because she thinks I am playing.. She knows its a doll..

Goobster: I feel like I always talk to you about this so I didnt want to keep bothering you with the same stuff all the time!!! Thank you I have included her in the babies stuff so far.. When I first got the crib when The plastic was still on the matress I even put her in it so she could see I have to admit big mistake now she is constantly barking for me to pick her up and put her in it.. (bad judgment call)

She is just going to have be treated as the first child.. I will do what I would have to do if I had a older child.. Just keep her involved with alot of attention..

Now as a pp mentioned my fear of leaving her alone while I am in the
Hospital!! Thats a whole other thing!!!

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Just an FYI- don't allow her free reign to the baby's stuff. By doing this, she'll be claiming those things/areas as "hers". Like it or not, she is NOT to be allowed to think she has top billing over your DD. Dogs are pack animals and there is a distinct pecking order. Your child must ALWAYS be considered "higher" than the dog. This includes not allowing her access to the baby's things.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

I know I'm not qualified in the mother department but just wanted to help with suggestions in some way. Every situation and dog is different, so what works for you may be something that someone else tried and failed. I'm sure you'll prevail because of the love you have for all your babies.

Where are you? I have a good dog walker recco in the Smithtown area. You could setup an appointment to meet and then keep her on standby around your due date, you know?

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by greenfreak

I know I'm not qualified in the mother department but just wanted to help with suggestions in some way. Every situation and dog is different, so what works for you may be something that someone else tried and failed. I'm sure you'll prevail because of the love you have for all your babies.

Where are you? I have a good dog walker recco in the Smithtown area. You could setup an appointment to meet and then keep her on standby around your due date, you know?

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

i hope you don't find me b!tchy but here is your problem. you are humanizing your dog. she can be home alone for many hours while you're in labor. maybe have your mother check in on her once every like 7-8 hours if you're concerned and to make sure she's fed and taken out.. but she shouldn't stay there to ease your mind that the dog isn't by herself. they're dogs, they're meant to be by themselves.. and i hate to break it to you but putting the dog in the crib was probably a HUGE mistake. she's going to think it's hers or think it's ok to try and get into the crib and that's the last thing you want. to get her used to the baby, you should let her smell the baby lotion, maybe a wipe or diaper and then when the baby is born, tell your DH to bring home a receiving blanket that the baby has used. that way she'll be used to the smell and know that the baby is an extension of you.

when you bring the baby home, maybe have your DH bring the baby in, you spend a few minutes greeting lola and giving her affection then YOU introduce lola to the baby. have the baby in the carseat and let her sniff around. she'll probably be interested for the first minute then walk away. they usually do haha. i would definitely spend less time with her now before the baby gets here. it seems like she does get alot of attention and will get jealous if she keeps getting it. i really hope everything works out which i'm sure it will. it might be difficult at first but i'm sure your dog will love the baby after awhile! hope you aren't offended by anything i wrote.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by dilb712
My mother can only come to the hospital after the baby is born I told her no waiting aroung for hours and hours while Lola is home alone in her house.. (She is also 76 and she will be much more comfortable home anyway) but she said if it will help me with this anxiety she will do anything I say.. I have only been away 1x in 3 years for 2 days and it was torture but we lived and she was FINE.. So I need to remember this too.. Thank you for the reco

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by MommaTo3Dogs1Boy

i hope you don't find me b!tchy but here is your problem. you are humanizing your dog. she can be home alone for many hours while you're in labor. maybe have your mother check in on her once every like 7-8 hours if you're concerned and to make sure she's fed and taken out.. but she shouldn't stay there to ease your mind that the dog isn't by herself. they're dogs, they're meant to be by themselves.. and i hate to break it to you but putting the dog in the crib was probably a HUGE mistake. she's going to think it's hers or think it's ok to try and get into the crib and that's the last thing you want. to get her used to the baby, you should let her smell the baby lotion, maybe a wipe or diaper and then when the baby is born, tell your DH to bring home a receiving blanket that the baby has used. that way she'll be used to the smell and know that the baby is an extension of you.

when you bring the baby home, maybe have your DH bring the baby in, you spend a few minutes greeting lola and giving her affection then YOU introduce lola to the baby. have the baby in the carseat and let her sniff around. she'll probably be interested for the first minute then walk away. they usually do haha. i would definitely spend less time with her now before the baby gets here. it seems like she does get alot of attention and will get jealous if she keeps getting it. i really hope everything works out which i'm sure it will. it might be difficult at first but i'm sure your dog will love the baby after awhile! hope you aren't offended by anything i wrote.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by Goobster

Posted by dilb712
My mother can only come to the hospital after the baby is born I told her no waiting aroung for hours and hours while Lola is home alone in her house.. (She is also 76 and she will be much more comfortable home anyway) but she said if it will help me with this anxiety she will do anything I say.. I have only been away 1x in 3 years for 2 days and it was torture but we lived and she was FINE.. So I need to remember this too.. Thank you for the reco

My parents also stayed in my home with my dogs when I was in the hospital. They also were instructed to stay home with the dogs until baby was in the nursery...I didn't want them hovering over me anyway, lol.

And what we did was DH did not stay with me, he came home every night around 9pm so the dogs would have him at night and have some normalcy. And I was in the hospital for 5 days, but my dogs did well with my mom here in my home and my DH staying with them at night. I was in good hands in the hospital, that I felt DH would be better off staying home with the dogs.

And YOU are never bothering me, FM me anytime.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

i also put my dog in bassinet. not b/c i wanted him to get to know it but, i am psycho and it is the bassinet i used when i was born (from the 70's) and i totally didnt trust my baby in it so i put my 16 pound dog in it to test its strength! it wasnt a big deal for dog... he could care less about it.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

I just wanted to say you don't sound like a nut at all!

That is exactly how I feel about my 2 cats!! In fact when I go away on a vacation for a few nights, I think about them SO much and always wonder what they are up to... and miss them so much! I always look forward to coming home and seeing my little babies roaming around meowing.... nothing in the world compares!

So no, not a nut case at all! Unless, I am one too!!

Good luck with handling Lola after the baby comes. I really have no experience in that area because we have not even begun to TTC yet. I that my cats won't act up when we DO bring home a baby one day though!!

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

I was nervous bringing my kids home with the dog. Cosmo is a huge mush of a lab but he, like Lola was here before the kids.

As we changed the office over to the nursery I let him sit with me and smell everything (but he's really nosy ). While I was in the hospital right after I gave birth we took the blanket that the kids were wrapped in and brought it home for Cosmo to smell. He could have cared less.

When I came home I made sure that I walked in first and gave him all my attention and said my hello. Then Neil came in with the baby in the carseat. We let him smell and he was done.

When I fed the kids, he was at my side. I would put my feet on him. When I was making the bottles or changing a diaper I would just reach down and give him a pat on the head. I always made him a part of things or did my best to. Once the kids went down for the night that was and still is "his time" with mommy. He's still my baby and still follows me around and has never acted out but I still watch him.

Take a deep breath and relax - dogs sense stress and if you are upset. I'm sure everything will be fine

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by dilb712

I know I am constantly bringing this up but My anxiety level is getting worse..

I am 36wks pregnant and its coming time soon where this baby will be here.. I am so scared my baby Lola is going to get upset and depressed.. I will never delibrately do anything to hurt her but I just think having this baby in my arms is going to break her heart..

All I do is hold her kiss her and play with her ALL day.. I ususally take her all over with me.. My moms house, sisters, friends if they dont mind of course.. i pay so much attention to her and I think about her from the minute i leave my house till I come home.. She follows me EVERYWHERE (yes bathroom and all ) and I love her.. I even follow her around sometimes!! If I dont have her in my site at all times I am looking to see where she is.. We are so in love its crazy.. I know I must sound like a nut case but I am so upset over this and its all i think about.. Has anyone else experienced this kind of anxiety and fear.. and if you did how did it end up????

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Diana, I understand how you feel about Lola, I feel the same way for my dogs. I humanized them, right or wrong, but when you have struggled to have the baby, the dog becomes your baby, they are a part of your family.

Lola will adjust to the baby and you will make new time for her.

Make sure when your husband comes home from the hospital after you have the baby, that he brings a blanket or some clothes the baby wore that day, he should do it every day your are in the hospital, so Lola becomes familiar with the baby's scent.

Everything will be fine, you'll see.

Re: Getting very nervous.. Baby and Dog baby

Posted by lorimarie

I was nervous bringing my kids home with the dog. Cosmo is a huge mush of a lab but he, like Lola was here before the kids.

As we changed the office over to the nursery I let him sit with me and smell everything (but he's really nosy ). While I was in the hospital right after I gave birth we took the blanket that the kids were wrapped in and brought it home for Cosmo to smell. He could have cared less.

When I came home I made sure that I walked in first and gave him all my attention and said my hello. Then Neil came in with the baby in the carseat. We let him smell and he was done.

When I fed the kids, he was at my side. I would put my feet on him. When I was making the bottles or changing a diaper I would just reach down and give him a pat on the head. I always made him a part of things or did my best to. Once the kids went down for the night that was and still is "his time" with mommy. He's still my baby and still follows me around and has never acted out but I still watch him.

Take a deep breath and relax - dogs sense stress and if you are upset. I'm sure everything will be fine