Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

DH's father passed away in March, but it's his first Father's Day. How can I celebrate his first father's day without upsetting him? Has anybody dealt with this? If you have dealt with this first hand, can you guide me in how to be sensitive, yet excited? TIA!

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

I haven't but

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

This will be the second father's day with out DH's dad and my first father's day without my dad. Last year we had a little BBQ with my family, since my dad was still here.

I dont have advice, just hugs. We will be heading to the cemetary tom. What a crappy way to spend Father's Day.

Message edited 6/14/2008 8:07:07 AM.

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

What a bittersweet day DH lost his father 5 years ago, and it still is very tough for him. He told me the other day that this will be such a day of extremes this year, his happiest Father's Day b/c of DD, but still sad b/c he misses his dad dearly

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

Dh lost his father when he was 8, and this is his first fathers day as a father.. i know its not the same as what your dh is going through since this is his first on both counts. Dh wants to bring our dd to his fathers grave. We did the same thing for mothers day for my mom.

I remember you posting about how proud your fil was of your son, so maybe bringing him to his grave would make them both happy.

eta:

Message edited 6/14/2008 8:26:17 AM.

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

I think the best thing to do is to ask him what he wants to do. I lost my mom when I was ten and my dad in my early 20s. Some years I have wanted to hang out by myself, others I have wanted to be with family and friends. Some years I have wanted to go to the cemetery. I would ask him what kind of a day he wants. He will probably feel very taken care of, which hopefully will be comforting on this tough weekend.

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

my fil passed away 6 years ago..last year was my husbands first fathers day...we celebrated it with my family, and his mom, bro and sis. For each holiday i always give him a luckt 7's scratchoff because thats what his dad used to play.

this year i am getting daddy and derek engraved lax sticks, and i am having them put 3 slash marks on each stick...this is how my fil used to mark his tools.

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

My first father's day without my father was 1 month after Robbie was born. I thought it would be horrible - but it wasn't! I actually felt incredibly blessed and I realized that if I hadn't had my son than that day would have been awful.

I can't imagine that your husband would want to skip father's day - and I can't imagine that his father would want him to miss out either.

I would let him know that you do remember and acknowledge his loss - but tell him that he is honoring his father by giving the best of himself to your child.

Re: Has anybody dealt with the first mothers/fathers day with a lost loved one?

That will be our 2nd one without DH's dad. It's hard still!!! They were extremelly close.

I would ask him what he wants to do. I would also tell him how much you wish FIL was still there and that you know he will miss him.

I honestly try not to bring the topic too much. I am always worried to upset DH.

He lost his mom when he was 13 also.