Has anyone DH been

a complete inconsiderate jerk since you got pregnant. My DH was so great with the wedding planning, but since i got pregnant hes been changing lately. He so nasty and grumpy all the time. We are moving March 1st to a bigger place and he expects me to do everything, 27 weeks pg. Yesterday i cleaned out the storage room which took most of the day (carried out 8 huge garbage bags of stuff we are throwing out), went grocery shopping, fit in time to make lasagna for him, walked the dog 3 times and cleaned the house. He comes home last night and says "What did you do all day, I said what does it look like i did? He says i get up at 6am go to the new place to watch the contractors and then go to work from 4-12 and get home and this is all you did. So i ignored him and went to bed. So this morning he gets up to go back to the new place to "WATCH" the contractors ( I know such hard work) Then comes home before work and starts yelling at me, Are you gonna sit at that computer all day like yesterday, why dont you try actually doing something today. Is he kidding me? So i said you know i would love to trade with you, Ill go "WATCH" the contractors at 7am, as long as you strap on a belly as big as mine and bend over all day packing and cleaning out old boxes. So he said " Oh please stop using your pregnancy as an excuse for your laziness lately and walked out. Im am soooooooooooo mad that when he left i broke down in tears. Sorry so long, im just so upset.


ETA: Oh and did i mention that i fell over our dog on sunday night, bruised and cut my knee and twisted my ankle which has been wrapped in an ace bandage, and i still managed to get what i could done.

Message edited 1/24/2006 3:55:52 PM.

Re: Has anyone DH been

I am so sorry to hear he has been an a**..
Mine has been ok but when I am not feeling well and don't feel like getting out of bed he is like but you have work.. etc.. guy you try to deal w/ this alien in my belly and then see how you feel.
he works nights so it has not been that bad..

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I'm sorry

Maybe if you bring him to some doctor's appointments with you? I swear, after every doctor's appointment, Dh gets more and more attentive.

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I'm soo sorry

You are already doing too much!!! My Dh gets insensitive sometimes like that too, what helped was I found some articles about pg sensitivity and we are suppose to do and not do, then I had a chat with him.

He admitted he forgets I am pg sometimes and still expects me to do things I just don't have all the energy to do anymore. Sometimes I think our DH's feel left out, since we are the ones who carry the babies.
I am constantly asking him how he is doing, how's work, especially since everyone is always asking him how I am doing.



Screaming at him a couple times worked for me too

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Oh i should mention my DHs hard work he does, He works sanitation, he drives a truck to jersey twice a night to dump it at the dump. With 10 coffee breaks with his friends in other trucks on route with him. Yes i can see how watching contracters and driving all day is so tiring for him.

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Im sorry for venting on you all, im just soooooooooooo mad right now. I dont know if i actualy want to try to pack everything today to keep his mouth shut, or just not do anything just to get him as mad as i am!!!!!!!!!

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i'm sorry that he's being like that. i think they really have no clue on what it is possibly like. mine will say to me...."i know, i know you're tired, right!?!?".....and i get so mad. its only lately that he's been a little more understanding. they don't really know what we're going through. and, who knows maybe with the move and the new baby on the way, he's just really stressed out and trying to keep it all inside. unfortunately, it would just be better if he opened up and talked to you rather than picked on you. we've had our moments too....so i understand. i finally got him to admit that he is worried about money and working (since i'm going to stay home), and about a test he needs to take (the CFA- and is taking it a few weeks before the baby is due), and the house since we want to do renovations. so, maybe your DH just has so many things on his mind, and he just hasn't figured out to try and express them better, rather than taking them out negatively on you. try and hang in there....don't do too much- you need to take it easy!!!

Re: Has anyone DH been

Posted by shamrock12472

I'm sorry

Maybe if you bring him to some doctor's appointments with you? I swear, after every doctor's appointment, Dh gets more and more attentive.

Re: Has anyone DH been

I am sorry for the way your husband is treating you. First of all, stop doing all the packing and lifting you dont want pre -term labor well maybe the doc will put you on bedrest then your husband will feel guilty. My Dh is ok I just wish he would keep him damn cell phone on for I am already 36 weeks and it could be soon who knows. I can never get in touch with him. He also never tells me I look pretty just that I am so big.

I hope all works out for you. Seriouly, tell doc you bedrest to put guilt tretment on DH just for a while

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I think men go through their own kind of stress when we get pregnant (how will I provide for them/ guide them/ do as good or better than my dad, etc...) But unfortunatley, men do not have anyone they can talk to about these fears, other than us. Whereas we can vent to our girlfriends, here, moms, etc... and feel better about it- men have no where to go. Especially with a move coming up- I'm sure DH is feeling the financial burdens of parenthood creeping up on him. I just think men don't deal with these kidns of things as well as women do.

I also think men forget. Since I was always so independent and still am- DH forgets that I am pregnant and really can't do ALL the things I did before.

What I sometimes feel- and it sounds like you feel the same, is that you want to be appreciated for all your hard work. I just explain to Dh that I need to feel appreciated because what I do is not so easy.

I also show him how much I appreciated everything he is doing. My DH has a very demanding job (physically and time). He is a carpenter and recently opened his own shop. I try to show him how much I appreciate what he does for us. When I don't feel appreciated I "remind" him how good it feels to be appreciated...

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DH didn't understand exactly how tired i was in the first trimester which led to nothing getting done around the house. as time has progressed he has become more and more understanding and has picked up a lot of chores i used to do!

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Wow, I am sorry you have to deal with that

Re: Has anyone DH been

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I think he SHOULD go to some doctor's appt.'s with you. When he asks what you need him there for, just tell him because you need his support, and that " you should know what's going on with <our> baby".

You definately can't do what you were able to before, and you're 7 months PG now. I think he needs to hear this from the doctor.

My DH has really been great through most of my PG. He TRIED the "what did you do all day" early on, when I was really tired and needed rest. I just told him I was busy growing his baby.

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Re: Has anyone DH been

awwww here's a few hugs.

DH was the same way. Great during wedding planning but sometimes very inconsiderate of what I am going through.

He just doesn't understand and when I ask him to read something to help him understand he has something else to do.

Maybe its just the stress of knowing a baby is coming and life is changing!!!

I hope for you and I that it gets better.

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Sorry you are going through this.

Re: Has anyone DH been

Sorry your DH is treating you this way

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. The last thing you need right now is added stress from DH. I hope things get better soon.

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I am so sorry your DH is being an @ss...

My DH definately has his moments where I wanna kick him to the moon as well.. The thing that stinks the MOST is I ended up on bedrest.. and his attitude didnt change.. MEN!

UGH... A word of advice.. Some may not agree with me.. but quite frankly, if you keep doing all the strenuous work you are doing you are putting yourself at higher risk for things to happen.. Preterm labor, problems with your SI joints, and just balance problems... if he continues, I would "throw out my back" with him right there.. call the Dr and tell him that you are experiencing some lower back spasms, and go to the office or hospital to be monitored. Then when the Dr. asks you what you did today tell him... You exact first post. And when the Dr. looks at you and asks if you are smoking crack.. LOL... just play dumb and say, oh well my DH doesnt think i do enough, I'm not supposed to do that??? Oh gee wiz..

Then maybe DH can enter into some reality. HTH... I wish you all the best.. and I really hope your DH gets his head outta his butt soon... My FM box is always open if you need to vent!!!!

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I am so sorry you are going through this. You should MAKE him go to your appts, and have your doctor talk to him about what your body is going through and that you need to rest and take care of yourself.
You should definitely not be doing what you are doing, I can't believe that you are doing that much.

Please take it easy and many to you!

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WOW I'm sorry he's being a jerk!
Maybe you should start keeping a list of what you did all day and show it to your DH if he starts giving you a hard time.

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I'm sorry he is not being supportive.

The drama queen in me (which is a big part of me) wants to tell you to do what the above poster said about faking an injury. I actually strained myself at the beginning of my pregnancy changing the water bottle at my office and DH got a little scared and definitely more protective over me. But I would never go to the hospital - I wouldn't waste the ER doctor's time that way.

I would bring him to the doctor's appointments with you. He really needs to understand that there is a PERSON in there growing and sharing your body wiht you!! He needs to understand that if you keep straining yourself you will not only hurt yourself but also hurt the baby!

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Aww, I'm sorry. A lot of men go through a nasty phase as pregnancy progresses and they start stressing out more about impending fatherhood, finances, etc. Maybe try to talk to him when he's not in as crabby a mood.

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Seriously, I would STOP doing all the stuff you've been doing and then he can see what lazy is!

Why does he have to wtach the contractors? Can't he do it every other day?

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Maybe you should really have a heart to heart. Sounds like he is doing a lot of things and getting very stressed out. But taking it out on you is not the best answer.
I am sorry he is treating you like this..it is really hurtful.