Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

I have a meeting with my son's school today. He is diagnosed with apraxia and is currently in a 12:1:1 kindergarten. Yesterday my son was sent home (I work / I'm a teacher/ the school called my FIL to go and get him) because they said my son refused to do any work and was being "difficult". He has never had any behavior problems, but started with some after this teacher continuously tells my son to "use your words" when he obviously, spontaneously cannot.

I'm shocked especially since he is in a special setting....they should be trained to work with this, this is why he is there.

As a teacher, I know how hard it can be, but I've never heard of this for a 5 year old special needs child? So basically they taught my son a great lesson, refuse to do work...get to go home with grandpa.

Any thoughts?

Message edited 3/30/2011 6:00:45 AM.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

My son is not in school yet, but goes to a daycare (mainstream). He has had a lot of behavioral problems, mostly relating to his interactions with the other children. So I have had talks with his teacher, she explains what they do there to address the problems, asks what we do at home. The last talk involved the social worker for the school since frankly, I'm at a loss at this point--nothing seems to be getting through to him. This is when I decided to have him evaluated by the school district--he also has sensory issues and a lot of anxiety in social situations.

But when I spoke to the social worker, I did ask if there was a chance he was going to be removed from the school. She said no, definitely not at this time. Her feeling was that sending him home (where he wants to be with me) would give him the message that bad behavior=extra time with Mommy (reward). They may also be giving us more time since they know we are having him evaluated. But what she said also made sense to me. We'll see if he stays there long-term, I am thinking it may be too hard for him.

So, this is a long, roundabout response, but I would think a special needs classroom would make allowances for behavioral issues, and the teachers should be trained to deal with them. And I agree with the PP, sending him home does give him the message that acting out will get him out of something he doesn't want to do. I would ask them for more information about what was happening, how it was addressed, and see if you can set up a better plan for future.

I'm sorry, my mind is a sieve lately, but I think you said he's new to the school? If so, I would think he may need time to settle in, but sending him home won't achieve that.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

Oh, I also wanted to add do they know your son's diagnosis? I am assuming they do. If so, the teacher really should know a child with apraxia cannot use his words--I would talk to the school about this. It sounds as if she wasn't really accomodating him.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

Never, and Lance has been very behavioral at times.

I would think they would work through it, not send him home. Do they have a behavior plan for him?

This year they did a reward chart in school and it really worked well. They made a list of the days activities, circle time, story time, free play, etc. He would either get a happy face or a sad face, and a full week of happy faces got him a toy at home.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

Thanks everyone. To answer a few questions: Yes they know his diagnosis, this was why he was placed in this class. We in fact know the principal and many teachers since my older dd's attend this school as well. They do have a behavioral plan in place, in fact it was me that suggested they bring in a behavioral psych to help develop a more detailed plan for my ds. This worked for awhile and yesterday was the first day after a month that he had a meltdown. He pretty much refused to do anything and decided to sit under the table. They decided to send him home b/c they felt he wasn't getting anything out of it. I feel that they basically made him win and didn't want to deal with him. I also feel that after a month of being good, one bad day should not have equaled "go home".

We did have a meeting this morning and more will be done, I was just wondering if anyone had a similiar experience. Thanks for you responses.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

IMO that is just not okay. He was not only rewarded for not doing his work (by getting sent home he got out of his work!) but I think that was totally innapropriate for the school and the teacher to do. As a special ed teacher you have to DEAL with all kinds of behavior, compliance issues, etc. They need to come up with a new plan of action if and when this happens again.

Re: Has anyone had a child sent home because of not listening?

As you know, this would never be acceptable in the NYC schools, why on earth would they do this ?

I am really in shock to be honest.

If he is sitting under the desk, and not 'hurting' any other child or himself, you send him home ?

Why wouldn't the teacher recognize this as perhaps "sensory overload' ? Maybe your son was trying to regulate himself since the teacher puts speaking demands on him he feels he can not fufill ?

This is just upsetting on a lot of levels;

Tons of hugs



Does the school have an OT on site ?