Has anyone written off a sibling?

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

No, but I'm about this(holding fingers about an inch apart) from doing so.

Message edited 10/8/2005 7:48:15 AM.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

I did once. I wrote off my brother for years of things that he did (or didn't do) to or for me. It turned out that his wife was responsible for all the choices he made. I know he's an adult and can make his own decisions, but his wife would always be a factor in every situation. It finally got to be the last straw when he didn't come to my engagement party (he was a GM). I told him to just forget coming to the wedding, forget everything. It turned out that a month later, he ended up filing for a divorce and now I have my brother back. It stunk to chance losing him, but, to me, it was something that had to be done. It was fortunate that it happend to work out in the end. There is only so much bad behavior I will allow before I no longer want a person a part of my life.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

My mom did- her brother was a compulsive liar and gambler and deserted his children. She still talks to his second wife and her nieces (his daughters with her). They do not speak to him either. He treated many family members badly and would not speak to my great grandmother (who raised him and my mom and aunt after their mom died) on her deathbed because she refused to lend him money (again). He has kids from his first marriage too- my mom is also in touch with them and his first wife. I don't even think he knows that he's a grandfather.

It's sad because it's family, but when someone is such a destructive, disruptive force it's really the only thing to do. I know there is a part of my mom (and her sister) that is sad because they have no relationship with him, but he was not going to change.

Message edited 10/8/2005 10:16:21 AM.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

I think my mother has written everyone on her side of the family off. It's all because of money too. When my grandma died, she wanted the money to be split to all her kids and grandchildren. This was never done...her brother kept most or all of the money.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

My DH has written off his older sister ....the whole family has

Some of you may remember we took in her 5 year old son in April until June when she took him back.
She is a druggie liar and she is just a miserable person. She threatened her mother(my MIL) and has hit her so we are all done with her
She lives in Vegas so we dont have to see her

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

No, but I dont speak with my mother. I am here if you need to talk.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Tara,

I'm here if you need me...considering I know a little about what happened. I know it's hard.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

I wrote off a pseudo-sibling (one of my uncles who I considered a brother amd my DH considerd his BIL). My life is less stressful without him, although I miss him terribly. I fear oneday we will be notified that he was found dead somewhere, but hopefully he will get himself some help before it gets to that point. I have to protect myself and my family though and by cutting him off, it has allowed me to do so.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Posted by btrflygrl

Tara,

I'm here if you need me...considering I know a little about what happened. I know it's hard.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Good luck!

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

My mom wrote off her only sibling years ago. She is a wacko who made her life miserable. We still have to deal with her sometimes when it comes to my grandmother but we try not to. My moms life has been much more peaceful since not dealing with her..sometimes its the only way to go for peace of mind and sanity.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

There have been times when I haven't spoken to one of my sisters for months. Most recently we didn't speak for 5 months. It was upsetting but necessary.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Tara, I just wanted to send you some hugs and let you know I'm here if you want to talk.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Tara
I know some of the issues you have had with your mom and sister and BIG HUGS TO YOU!
I am happy to hear that you are working through you difficulties with your mom.
IMO i wouldn't close the door completely on your sister. I am assuming there are a lot of hurt feelings right now, space and time completely away may be greatly needed...But i wouldn't close the door off to future reconciliations. Live you life, be happy....And maybe when the time is right you and your sister may be able to work things out...
Only the ones you love the most can really hurt you!

GOOD LUCK

Message edited 10/9/2005 6:14:29 PM.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

Posted by Spring Baby06

No, but I'm about this(holding fingers about an inch apart) from doing so.

Re: Has anyone written off a sibling?

I wrote off my brother/sil a year ago.

My oldest brother felt the need to get involved in a situation I was in with my older-middle brother (I called CPS on my SIL, middle brother's wife) and went over to my parents to strong arm my father into getting me to retract my story to CPS. It was the final straw in a laundry list of issues I was having not really with him, but with his wife. For years, I had to muffle myself from calling her out and b!tch slapping her silly from all her underhanded nasty comments, etc. I held my tongue and kept my cool for "family togetherness" and because I knew she would use it as leverage against my mother and myself in terms of seeing my nieces. But after he went over and gave our father a hard time (who had NOTHING to do with the call and was recently having heart AND cancer issues) as well as my mom (who had nothing to do with it but was accused anyway) all bets were off. I blasted him and REALLY told him what I thought of him and his wife. You've got something to say, say it to ME, not Mom and Dad, who were going through enough both physically and emotionally. Mom and Dad lost control of me when I was 17, so did you really think they were going to make me change my position or else they'd send me to my room??? Plus, it had NOTHING to do with him. It still makes me hot and my head spin when I think of it.

Hubby wrote off his brother and SIL 3 years ago almost to the day. They never "approved" of me and would go out of their way to make trouble between us. My BIL was always flapping his arrogant gums at me, and we had never-ending blowouts. The final straw on that deal was when she (SIL) accused me of sleeping with her sister's husband (he was doing our refinance and I had maybe 3 or 4 exchanges of communication with him). She went around and spread it all over her family that I was meeting with him (yeah, he came to my place of business to have documentation signed, whoo-hoo). He called me up freaking on 10/20/2003 because his wife was packing because her "sister" convinced her we were having an affair. All hell broke loose and Bob finally had to take a stand...thankfully for him, he did. That ended 1/2 of our daily drama. SIL would go to any lengths (even to destroy her own sister's marriage) to f me over. Needless to say, I'm not big on SIL's...