Having Baby #2 worries...

I am just so confused I love Andrew to death. He is my little buddy We do everything together but I want another baby soo bad. I am just worried that because he is still young, it will affect our relationship a lot.

I don't know what to do. I go back and forth all day long I don't know what I am looking for here. Maybe just a place to write about it.

Message edited 3/3/2008 2:09:56 PM.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I think what you're feeling is normal. I think the same thing about having baby #2. But then I think of how the new baby will be such a great buddy to DD (at least I hope they'll get along most of the time! I know they'll fight alot too.) I always think how this next pg (when the time comes) won't be as special because it won't be the first and I have DD to take care of so I can't focus on being pg as much, but I am sure it will be special in a different way. And I'm looking forward to expanding our family (someday)

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I felt the exact same way as you did until about 4 months ago. I actually told my DH that there was no way we were having another baby as I couldnt imagine sharing DD with another child.then like magic I started longing for a baby, longing to get pregnant and now can totally see anohter baby in our household. We are not TTC yet as have some travel plans in the next few months but will be ttc this summer.

So if time is on your side I would wait it out and hopefully you will wake up some morning and feel ready.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I wish we were more ready for #2...I have the opposite issue, I need another to have josh realize he must share my universe.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I was worried about the same thing, especially since i got pg with #2 when DD was only 5 months old.

Having #2 didn't affect a thing, my 1st baby girl will always be my 1st, and your heart grows to allow for the love you have your babies. My heart melts even more when I see my girls together. Last week, my oldest told the baby "lovvvve you minnie" as she hugged her, she hasn't even told her own parents she loves us yet. Dh and and I almost cried, we melted.

I think you think more about it before #2 comes, and then when your baby is here, the loves just pours out from everyone.

But def let it out, if def puts things in perspective when you write it down or say it outloud.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

Posted by 5ofClubs

I am just so confused I love Andrew to death. He is my little buddy We do everything together but I want another baby soo bad. I am just worried that because he is still young, it will affect our relationship a lot.

I don't know what to do. I go back and forth all day long I don't know what I am looking for here. Maybe just a place to write about it.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

totally normal and like the others said, you will love #2 just as much but #1 will always have that special place...
You will love seeing the 2 of them together, Andrew will be a great big bro

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I'm pregnant with #2 and I still don't know how I"m going to divide my time. Jared is my little buddy too...we do everything and he only wants his mama.

I guess I'll figure it out in 7 months or so.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I've had the same thoughts (we are not TTC #2 yet). But every mom of more than 1 has told me that they had the same fear and that although you don't think it is possible and you can't believe it until it happens-your capacity to love grows.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

Posted by Stefanie

I'm pregnant with #2 and I still don't know how I"m going to divide my time. Jared is my little buddy too...we do everything and he only wants his mama.

I guess I'll figure it out in 7 months or so.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

Everyone has those same thoughts and fears.

You'll surprise yourself with the time and love that you have for no. 2.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I dont really think that feeling of "will i love the next one as much" will go away until you have the other(s). There is a 7 year age gap between my 2 kids and i was scared that my bond with my dd would be broken. Now my DS is 5 months, its not a broken bond. I love them both very much, differently for different reasons, but its impossible to run out of love. Dont drive yourself too nuts, you'll be fine

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

You are going to be a great mom to both children. You are so wonderful with Andrew that I have no doubt....you'll surprise yourself with how much love you have for both.

When my friend had her second daughter she told me something very sweet...

She said that she was in awe of her love for her children. She worried about having to share the love she had for her daughter (#1) with the new baby when she was pregnant but then when she had her second daughter she was so excited to introduce the two girls to each other and it hit her...she wasn't sharing or dividing love...she somehow had more love to give.

You'll never know until you experience it but I don't think it will be a problem for you or Andrew. Plus that cutie has lots of love to share too.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I had the same worry, except DS was 8 when DD was born. He has always been my little buddy, we did everything together, just him and I. Disney, Chuck E Cheese, movies, you name it, we did it..together. Now that DD is in the picture, it's even more fun! He loves that he has a little friend to play with (loves her toys too! ) and just simply adores his sister. I think it's normal to have those worries

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

Posted by Stefanie

I'm pregnant with #2 and I still don't know how I"m going to divide my time. Jared is my little buddy too...we do everything and he only wants his mama.

I guess I'll figure it out in 7 months or so.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I feel the same way. I was pregnant a few weeks ago (I had a m/c & now we're back to TTC) & although I was overjoyed, I was so scared. I could not imagine loving another child the way I love DD & I felt so sad about another child being around to take any attention away from DD. Mothers of 2 or more have told me that there is no need to worry. We will have enough love to go around!

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I understand too. I love "us" so much. I think that in the long run, baby #2 will be good for him and you.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I just want to add, that as a mommy of 2, I had similar worries. I was scared and worried about how I would do it all. You just do. There is no thinking about it. You just find the time to spend time with both and don't even think twice about it. Once the 2 of them start to interact with one another and start to bond, it will melt your heart and will wonder why you didn't do it sooner!!

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

When my brother had his second he told me his DS filled a space that they never knew was there It just works. Your love grows and it works....I can't wait

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

My first is still my little buddy - even 2 years since his sister arrived on the scene. It doesn't go away, you just deal with that bond in a different way. Both my kids are my little buddies, they each have a part of me. I don't divide anything, they both get al of me and it works.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I just took DD to see family this weekend. She is 16 months. DS (3 yrs) stayed home with Daddy. When we got back yesterday DS ran up to his sister and said "I missed you. I need my baby sister." Then he gave her a huge hug and kiss.

Having #2 will be fine!

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

i felt that way all the way up to the hour i delivered my second son.. then it was amazing.. love doesnt' divide it multiplies.. and the bond between your children will be amazing!

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

DD is due in less than 5 weeks and I am very scared of this still- she is a surprise baby and DS is only 15 months.

I must admit part of me feels cheated that I will lose out on more bonding time with DS- he is still so little and growing and changing each day.

But, I hear that the heart just expands and I am so happy to give him the gift of a sibling- I am having faith that it will just work out.

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

Re: Having Baby #2 worries...

I didn't plan my 2nd. I stopped breastfeeding my first and SURPRISE!

I was worried that I could not POSSIBLY love anyone as much as I loved my first child. I was worried that I would spend too much time and energy with my infant and neglect my first born. I was worried that my older son would resent the baby. I was worried that I would spend so much time worrying about these things that both of them would suffer.

But the wheels .. well they were in motion. And all fears were ultimately baseless. I love both my sons so passionately and so completely that I couldn't imagine life without either. They each bring a unique perspective to my universe and I have managed to give each of them my whole self without completely losing me in the process.

It isn't easy.. but once you go there you will not be able to believe that there could be another way!