| Posted By |
Message |
adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Having issues with my mom watching my son
I just picked him up and saw her feeding him oatmeal with 2 % milk and I flipped out on her. There are so many other things she does that I don't agree with when she watches my son and sometimes she'll snap at me and say if you don't like it then I wont watch him for you. My mom watches him for 4 hours a day M-Th while I'm at work. I think that was real cruel of her to say and I'm actually thinking about quitting my job because I can't stand it anymore and I know she will regret ever saying that.
Yesterday when I picked him up I noticed an open milk carton on the counter and saw her feeding him at the table so I asked if she gave him milk and she said no that she used it for her coffee earlier and forgot to put it back in the fridge. Now that I caught her red handed because I dropped in earlier than expected and saw her pouring it in his food bowl I just went a little nuts and stormed out of there with my son.
I'm really upset right now and even called my husband who called her about it. She denied giving him milk. I can't believe it.
Do you have similar problems with your parents not listening to you on how you want your baby taken care of or when to do things? What would you say or do?
Edit: I called my mom just before and tried to tell her what my doctors nurse said about feeding a baby under a year milk and she was crying. She told me that the police were at her house because my brother who has bipolar was acting up. Now at the same time I feel mad I feel just as bad.
I really can't stand anymore drama in my life. NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY AT ALL 
Message edited 6/19/2008 12:44:37 PM.
|
Posted 6/19/08 12:42 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
How old is he? did you ask her to prepare the oatmeal for him a certain way?
I know that it's a touchy subject when it comes to having your parents watch your child, but I would just try and calm down. I'm sure she didn't try to harm him and perhaps your yelling at her and storming out of there with him hurt her feelings and she in turn told you to look for someone else.
I feel that when it's your mom watching your baby, it's tough because you DON'T want it to be THEIR job, you want them to enjoy their time with their grandchild, but it can get a little sticky when they do something that you normally woudn't do or have asked them not to do.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:47 PM |
| |
|
emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
how old is your baby?
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:47 PM |
| |
|
adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Sorry he will be 8 months in a week.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:48 PM |
| |
|
LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
I have no advice but
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:48 PM |
| |
|
DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Ugh!!! I know how you feel. My mother is the same way. NEVER listens to me about DD. I have made the decision to s*ck it up b/c I don't want DD in daycare before she is a year old (she is 6 months).
My way of handling it . . . every time she does something I STRONGLY disagree with I spend an hour+ reseaarching on the net and then flood her email with links to every study/article I can find that says whatever she is doing is the most horrible thing under the planet to do to a child that age. I pick and choose the battles I want to fight. Feeding DD is the biggest one.
Good luck!
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:53 PM |
| |
|
lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't understand why so many parents have a hard time just sticking to simple rules.
I am dreading this next year when MIL watched DS 2 days a week. She wanted him 5 at first, but I was like NOOO WAYYYY, cuz I KNOW she will just do what she wants to do. i am not that uptight about things, but for me, if she is doing things you dont want her to and will not stop, then you have to change your DC caretaker. I mean I would let a LOT slide, because its wonderful for family to watch your child. But tome diet restrictions are a BIGGIE.
My cousin was watching DS, and gave him a gerber graduates biscuit when he was 4 months..I was like, are you crazy?? She is no longer watching him.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:53 PM |
| |
|
emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Posted by adeline27
Sorry he will be 8 months in a week.
I honestly don;t think it is a big deal, 2 of my kids were eating ice cream by that age. But regardless, having others watching your kids is tough, it is hard to hand over responsibility fo your child, no one cares for them like us Moms
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:54 PM |
| |
|
adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
just want to add
He's my first and it's not like I try to do everything by the book it's just I don't like being lied to.
When I call and tell her things like watch out for this or that I get yhea yhea like she doesn't even hear me and that she knows what's best for him like I don't. It really irritates me.
My husband is loving that she can watch him and I'm very thankful for it but at the same time I don't want him there.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 12:57 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
If he has a milk allergy then I would be upset but since he doesn't, it really wouldn't bother me. There is not much milk put in oatmeal, and at 8 months i'm sure he eats things made with dairy aside from formula, no??
Sorry if i sound criticizing, but that would not phase me in the least. You are getting someone to help you out when you need it and doing you a favor. I understand certain things, I really really do....and I know its easy to get overworked about your first baby, but you need to pick and choose your battles.
My son was eating ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese, regular cheese etc..all made with a ton of dairy. Your mom prob realizes there is no harm in it...unless I am not understand the full story??
|
| Posted 6/19/08 1:10 PM |
| |
|
Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Posted by maybebaby
If he has a milk allergy then I would be upset but since he doesn't, it really wouldn't bother me. There is not much milk put in oatmeal, and at 8 months i'm sure he eats things made with dairy aside from formula, no??
I wouldn't worry about it,
but i understand that it stinks when your mom does this kind of stuff. my mom used to do it to me, she would give DD whipped cream at 5 months. 
I eventually have come to terms with the fact that my mom has her way of doing things, and in fact she probably knows better then i do. she raised the 5 of us and we all came out fine...
|
| Posted 6/19/08 1:13 PM |
| |
|
SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
I can understand why you're upset. I would be too. The fact that she lied to you about what she gave him bothers me the most. That must mean she knows what she did is wrong (or that it would make you angry.) I read lots of posts about the grandparents not listening to the mom's wishes and I just don't get it. Is is really that difficult to just follow through with what is asked? It sounds like you mom has alot on her hands with your brother's problems too. Maybe watching your DS is too much for her?
|
| Posted 6/19/08 1:19 PM |
| |
|
NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Posted by SuzyQ
I can understand why you're upset. I would be too. The fact that she lied to you about what she gave him bothers me the most. That must mean she knows what she did is wrong (or that it would make you angry.) I read lots of posts about the grandparents not listening to the mom's wishes and I just don't get it. Is is really that difficult to just follow through with what is asked? It sounds like you mom has alot on her hands with your brother's problems too. Maybe watching your DS is too much for her?
ITA!
This is why I don't know if I can handle a family member watching DD. My MIL already says "what happends at grandmas, stays at grandmas." I already told my DH, not if it's something I SPECIFICALLY said no too!
|
| Posted 6/19/08 1:35 PM |
| |
|
computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Honestly... this would not bother me one bit. Unless DC is allergic to dairy, this wasn't a "danger" type situation. I know my DS was eating yogurt or cheese almost every day at that age!
My parents live nearby and see DS at least twice a week. I'm a SAHM so I don't use my parents for free daycare, but they are my primary babysitters whenever I have an appt, want to go out with DH, etc. They've taken DS overnight tons of times. Do they follow my standards and rules to the letter? Not even close. However, I would not trade the free, always available, loving babysitting they provide for any of my nitpicky rules in the world. I know not every mom is as lucky as we are to have parents nearby to watch our kids when needed.
If I did work and my parents volunteered to watch DC for free, I think I'd be so grateful I would let them feed DC Lucky Charms and Cheetos all day if that's what they wanted to do! (just kidding, but you know what I mean) :)
|
| Posted 6/19/08 1:59 PM |
| |
|
twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
I would bbe upset and possibly stop her from watching him....and I am one of those who believes that you have to allow family unpaid babysitters some slaack becausethey are doing you a favor. But if they are going against doc's orders, then I would be done.
Good luck with your decision
|
| Posted 6/19/08 4:46 PM |
| |
|
Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
it is frustrating when they dont listen. dd is the first baby thats been in my parents house since my youngest brother was born and that was almost 27 years ago - things have changed - they dont get that. That generation just figures if they did it and their kids were fine whats the big deal? Your mom was prob overwhelmed with your brother's situation too.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 5:02 PM |
| |
|
babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
I absolutely would have issues with it! Big Time! If she is watching your son then she needs to respect your wishes! I know that most likely the milk would not be a problem, but if she is not listening to you about that, then what else is she not listening to you about. I would be very upset and angry!
|
| Posted 6/19/08 5:23 PM |
| |
|
justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Posted by lulugrrl
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't understand why so many parents have a hard time just sticking to simple rules.
I know in the case of my mother who watches my children 2 days a week, it's not about not following the rules but she goes by what was ok when we were kids. For example, my mother sees nothing wrong with putting my kids down to sleep on their bellies because when we were kids that's what they did. Once I told her the doc said she didn't.
To the OP I don't think your mom was trying to do something to purposely help your child. She should have asked if it was ok. But my Mom keeps saying I should give my son, who will be 6 weeks old tomorrow, eggs and other foods because he's such a big boy. I yes her to death and don't do it. I know my brother was given eggs on his first night home so that's where it comes from.
Just calmly tell her that she had her time to be a parent and listen to her doctor and decide what was best for her children, now this is your time to do the same and she should give you the same opportunity.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 5:28 PM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Having issues with my mom watching my son
Sorry, regardless of the post about your mother, babies at six months can have dairy in their diets...am I missing something??? I always put cows milk in my sons cereal as soon as he hit six months, and I gave him yogurt. Am I missing something with the OP?
I am a big believer that if you don't trust your daycare provider with your childs welfare, change the situation immediately. The issues to me doesn't sound like a big deal at all, she is your mother, she kept you and your siblings alive as babies. She must know something about babies...I do agree, if she is doing somethings that you don't like, she shouldn't be watching him. This sounds like a big control issue in a lot of ways to me.
|
| Posted 6/19/08 5:54 PM |
| |
|
