Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

DD is 3 weeks old. I also have an almost 4 year old at home. Today, DD has been SO gassy and just wants to be held in order to sleep. I am so tired because I'm doing the night feedings since DH went back to work. I am very emotional and keep crying today. I don't want my DS to see me this way. I'm trying to put all of this in perspective and know from DS that this too shall pass, but it's just been a long, tiring day.

I know crying is not a great way to deal with stress, but I get "caught up" in my head with anxious thoughts when stressed and it just leads to me getting more upset. How do you deal with stress? Thanks for letting me vent!

Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Honestly you have to have your DH do a night feeding. I get that the men go back to work but you are not sitting around napping all day. In the beginning both my DH and I shared night duties. We were both tired but if I did all the nights I would have never been able to survive.

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

First off big hugs because i know what your going through. Its ok to cry itvhelps get it out. Second you should talk to your dh about how your feelig. And dont feel guilty to ask for more help from your husband especially on a bad day. I would ask my dh for extra help on bad days and still do.
You guys are in this together. Its a partnership and i understand he worksbut its his child as well. And its not like you ask for extra help every night... its ok to be human and not be perfect. No one is and no one jas it all together.

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

I don't really have much advice just wanted to say I totally understand how you are feeling. I have a 5 week old and an almost 2 year old. The baby screams non stop from 5-8 pm and it is very stressful. I just cry when I can't take it anymore. It makes me feel better. Also taking a shower helps. Someone told me " the nights are long but the years are short". It kind of helps to remind me that this won't be forever. Hang in there. You aren't alone. It's so hard but we will get through it!

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

When you are getting overwhelmed put the baby down in the crib and close the door. No baby ever got hurt from crying for a couple of min without their mother trying to calm them down. know your limits and try to put the baby down before you get to the point of crying. what always helps me is repeating in my head " mommy knows best and this is for the best right now" lots of hugs

Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

put the baby in the crib and go into your room for a few minutes of alone time. take a deep breath and cry if you need to. dont worry if the baby is crying too.
you also need to get DH told help more. i cant imagine having 2 kids - it was hard for me to deal with a newborn and myself let alone another child.
do you have a babysitter you can use or a family member? i know it sounds crazy but have them come for one hour a day or every other day or even once a week and go nap. its worth the $15. i used to do that for a lady in my building when i was in high school...i would get home and watch her kids so she could nap for an hour. as they got older she would run errands during that hour - i thought she was crazy when i was babysitting but now i get it!

Message edited 6/6/2013 11:32:03 AM.

Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Sounds like you need a recharge. I have the same system with my dh for feedings, we just have the 3am as the cut off. Is there any time at all that your newborn and 4 year maybe nap at the same time? If they do, then maybe take a quick one. Is there any one you can ask to come by for a few hrs to catch up on some sleep? Lack of sleep can make anyone stressed and cranky, some how you need to get it in... what about the weekend? Can DH let you take some z's while he's in charge?

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

When DH gets home, i jumped in the shower! Gave me time to destress and helped me to feel a bit better. Can you nap when DH gets home? My DS always had a 7 pm bedtime, so i would go to bed when he did and DH had the baby till she needed to be fed, she wiuldnt take bottles. I also coslept bc otherwise i dont think i would have survived.

The first few months are the longest and feel like they are never-ending, but hang in there, it gets better!!

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Posted by zaidam

Posted by alli3131

Honestly you have to have your DH do a night feeding. I get that the men go back to work but you are not sitting around napping all day. In the beginning both my DH and I shared night duties. We were both tired but if I did all the nights I would have never been able to survive.

I agree with this. You are also still recovering from childbirth and need to rest so that you can physically keep up with two kids.

Re: Having one of those days- how do you deal with stress?

Thanks so much everyone! It is nice to hear that I'm not the only one that feels this way. I forgot how isolating being home with a newborn can be. Today is a new day! DD slept from 11:30-5 last night which allowed me to get more sleep. Then when she napped this afternoon, I slept for another 45 minutes. It is amazing how much better you can feel and clearer you can think when you have slept. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing! I told DH that I need him to wake up at 7 with my DS so that when I do the night feeding for my DD and she falls back asleep (usually until 8ish), I can stay asleep with her. He agreed. So getting that extra hour every morning will help me recharge like a pp said. I also like the advice "Mommy knows best and right now this is what's best." I'll have to repeat that to myself when I'm feeling frustrated. I also need to get outside more to walk and clear my head. That will help inside of being cooped up instead. Ugh, I forgot how hard the newborn stage is!!!
ETA: spelling

Message edited 6/6/2013 2:32:48 PM.