How do I deal with a jealous friend?

I have a friend who I have know for 25 years (since kindergarten). We have had our ups and downs but overall I always thought we had a good relationship. Well, ever since I got engaged to DH back in 2003 I could hear the jealousy in her voice every time we spoke. Depsite this I still had her as co-maid of honor.

Fast forward to this summer and I am pregnant and the only thing she has to say is how great that I will be big and fat for Christmas I was supposed to have lunch with her a few weeks ago and she never called me and I decided I didn't have the energy to call her either.

I understand that she doesn't have anyone significant in her life right now but I can't get over the fact that she is so bitter that she can't be nice to me.

Do I make any more efforts or just let it fade away?

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Personally, I would let it fade away. You have made the effort and for how it sounds, she has not. So, now I would leave the ball in her court.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

I think I'd let it fade away. I hate to say it but a true friend would be happy for you, not be happy cuz your gonna be "fat" for Christmas..I think that is so rude.
Sorry you have to deal with this.

Message edited 8/31/2006 5:21:04 PM.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Well it sounds to me like you have kept this friendship alive singlehandly.. and it's been one-sided for quite some time now

If she was jealous of you getting married, and already is showing signs that she is jealous of your pregnancy... I feel that enough is enough. "Friendships" like this are just exhausting after awhile, and there are only so many times where you can tiptoe around someone and their feelings.. and/or be the one to constasntly extend yourself in order to maintain the friendship. You really have to think to yourself are you getting anything positive out of this relationship anymore, or is just being around her causing you more anxiety? If it's the latter, then you have your answer..

This is a wonderful time in your life and I don't think anyone (especially a "friend") should bring you down. So personally, as hard as it might be.. I would let it fade away...

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Posted by lvdolphins

I think I'd let it fade away. I hate to say it but a true friend would be happy for you, not be happy cuz your gonna be "fat" for Christmas..I think that is so rude.
Sorry you have to deal with this.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

if it is important to you - make the effort...but I have to say, after you have the baby -people that don't make an effort in return tend to quickly dissolve from your life.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Let it go, people like that are not worth your time and energy. It may be hard at first but you will get oer it and be so much happier. Friendshipvs should flow they shouldn't be work.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Its hard to let a friendship like that go, since you've known her for so long, but it sounds like she's not in a place where she can be happy for you right now. I no longer speak to the friend who was my maid of honor and it was very hard to let it go, but I think it was for the best.

Re: How do I deal with a jealous friend?

Fade away... it's her turn to eat a little "humble pie" and get back in touch with you. Shame on her!