How do I handle this? Advice, please!

So, for the last month or so, Ava's been waking up at least two times in the middle of the night. It's not teething and it's not hunger, she just wants to play. This entire week, she's been waking at 12:30, and last night, she didn't go back down until 3am. We tried CIO in the middle of the night and sometimes it works, but she cried for over an hour last night, then when I walked over to her crib, she'd laugh and start babbling to me. She has gained quite a few new words in the last few weeks and I suspect that she's going to start walking any day now, so I don't know if it has anything to do with that, but I just don't know what to do. We share a room, and I have no where to run!
Finally, last night, we gave her a Fisher Price play flashlight and she talked to it for an hour and a half, fussed for a couple of minutes adn went back to sleep. Do I keep giving her a toy? Do I make her CIO? What do I do? I am so frustrated over this and it's causing JT and I to argue, which is not what I want. Any advice is welcome, and appreciated!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

I don't know the answer, however I have recently reached a point of desperation with Ryans 4am wakeups and just this morning let him CIO. I was up at 3:30 anticipating his 4am wakeup - he decided to "sleep in" til 4:30 today (of course I was up anyway trying to go back to sleep myself), but then he woke up wanting to play. When I didn't come in, he cried on and off til 5:30 then fell asleep til 6:30.

IT WAS NOT EASY. I hated it. But I feel like there is no other option for me with my state of exhaustion. Also I know he needs a full nights sleep so we have to fix this.

I will be doing it again tomorrow and likely the next day until he stops waking up. I KNOW he can sleep thru the night - it was just him being sick that screwed everything up.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally feel your pain!!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

I know it sounds harsh - but just from that she started laughing and babbling when you went over to her makes me think - well if I cry long enough, someone will come - and she was right!

We started the crying it out real late in the game - so we had a few nights of screaming and crying - but eventually - it got less and less - when they realized we weren't coming - they slowly settled back down - crying out here and there, but laid back down.

Believe me, I know how hard it is to hear them crying, but at a certain point - I felt like they were playing me, cuz they knew I'd eventually go to them.

Now, they sleep - from 8:30 till about 6:30-7:00 - everyday. So we are very happy.

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

She is definitely aware that you are in the same room and wants attention when she wakes up. I don't know if giving her a toy is the right idea just because then she'll think its play time and keep waking. I would say CIO, but if she is crying for over an hour I don't know about that either. If she is wimpering & whining, I would give it a go. I would say maybe go over to her and lay her down, rub her back and tell her its sleepy time, and then walk away. But if it excites her too much when you do that, then I don't know. Sorry I am not much help, but I definitely think it is a phase that she will grow out of. Could you and your DH sleep in the living room, just until she stops waking in the middle of the night?

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Thanks everyone. I just don't know what to do, we have been doing CIO for a while now, but this is different. I definitely think she's got my number. She knows that we're right there. And we have had a few nights of sleeping in the livingroom trying to let her CIO, but let's face it, we live in an apartment with thin walls, and I have to consider the fact that I have other neighbors around me, and at some point, we had to stop her from crying. But, that being said, she's never cried this long. Usually she catches on that we're not coming, but that's at bedtime. In the middle of the night, she KNOWS we're there. I guess I will have to convince JT that we have to sleep in the livingroom for a while. I just can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted and sick and I can't seem to get over this stomach virus because I can't get any rest

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

bump. Looking for ANY advice...please!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Like some other posters said I would go to her to lay her down but if that excites her I would not go to her and let her CIO....I feel she is waking every night at this time knowing that she will get to play...it will take a bit but if you are consistent she will realize she doesn't get play time in the middle of the night and hopefully stay asleep

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Ok, well, I have set up shop for the night on the pull-out couch. Watch, tonight, she won't wake up and I'll have slept on the stupid pull-out for nothing

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

no advice, just hugs...

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

It's amazing how insightful babies are, they know how to play us like fiddles and we are clueless about it
I know i have fallen victim :)

I agree with the above posters, try to stay consistent and don't let her win the playing in the middle of the night thing, she'll figure it out that mommy and daddy do not like to play games at 2am.

is there a way you could corner off a part of her/your room, maybe with a partition or something so she kinda has her own space and can't see you guys?

Or maybe do something like that in another part your home?

Maybe that would help since you can't physically close the door on her so she knows you aren't gonna come to her when she thinks it's playtime.



Lots of luck this weekend

I'll be up all weekend too, DD doesn't sleep when we visit LI.

Message edited 3/2/2007 8:50:22 PM.

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

I think it's defnitely her PLAYING you. She knows what she is doing.

I'd start the night with a few things in her crib...soft things though. My lil' devil throws the pacis out of the crib when she wakes up in the AM or if she is mad and not ready to go down yet. She loves her cuddle time before bedtime, so sometimes it's her just needing some more closeness and then she fades out nicely.

The past few nights she's been congested, so when she wakes crying, I go to her and rock her. She can't breathe well and I feel bad that she's not sleeping well.

Normally though, we let her CIO and it doesn't last but a few minutes. If either of us feel it's her "I'm in pain" cry, we go to her. A few times it's because she had soaked through her diaper. The teething is doing it too.

ADVICE wise:
Is there ANY way you can divide her space and your space? A folding divider? Hanging some heavy drapery from the ceiling? Moving furniture to create a divided space? ANYTHING? The fact that she knows you are there and you will go to her is what is motivating her...Aly did this until we let her cry. She never did cry for over an hour though. It could be partially driven by mild seperation anxiety so to speak.....she just wants the reassurance that you are there. *POOF* you appear....and she's happy and feels secure.

It's so hard to know since they cannot tell us what they want. Without a means of communication, crying is all they have to do so and to let out frustrations. It could be the impending developmental things you mentioned.....and with that, it's just waiting it out.

Good Luck Rachel

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

We are in the EXACT same boat. Between 4:30 and 5:30 Jordana thinks its play time. Sometimes we bring her in bed with us for 30 minutes. If she doesn't go to sleep, we put her back in the crib.

The best thing to do is CIO. But I hear ya- how hard it is when you share a room. Just stand what you can.

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

How did it go last night?

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Ok, I am officially making the livingroom my new bedroom! I had suspected a while ago that all the noise JT and I make (he snores like a freaking truck) were waking her up, and I think it's probably true. She did wake up once, but not until 4:30am, and she cried for about 15 minutes, but went back to sleep until 8am! I can't remember the last time she slept till 8am!
So, we're off to buy a memory foam thing for our pullout couch. I don't even care if I have to sleep in the livingroom for the next three months while we live here because soon we'll be out of here and she'll have her own room. At least I know there's an end in sight. Thanks for all the advice, everyone! I hope tonight goes as well as last night!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Glad it went better for you last night!

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Yay! Hope tonight goes just as well

Re: How do I handle this? Advice, please!

Posted by Moehick

Yay! Hope tonight goes just as well