how do you do it, daycare related

How is it possible to find someone that can watch your child that you feel like you could trust. I thought I had DS covered but it is not happening and now need to find someone soon. I went through this a few weeks ago and got some responses but thought my family was going to come through.....but it just isn't going to work out.....

Ive put out feelers again but no one seems to want to come to my home they want to watch him in there home.....which I am trying to convince myself I am ok with but I feel like I wil lnever REALLY know what is happening, its soooo hard and if they have really young children I jsut don't know how that would work (DS is 1)......I don't want him in traditional daycare for numerous reasons and jsut feeling down about this. Can anyone relate how did you get passed this feeling....right now I am completely depressed about this and have no one to watch him in two weeks! Anyone know where to try besides Craig List???ETA: I am in eastern suffolk

Message edited 1/22/2009 11:32:35 AM.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

Use your mommy intuition. I go back and forth with this all the time. However, when I stopped worrying about DS while he was at daycare i knew that I found the right provider for him There are times when I get paranoid, but every parent probably does. You have to truly "feel" like the person who will care for your son will care for him to your standards.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

Honestly, if you are that upset about the idea of someone watching him their house, then I would try a center. With a center they have rules and you get a fact sheet at the end of the day, KWIM?

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

aww Im so sorry your going thru this.
Where do you live maybe some of us can recommend a facility.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. For me, I hired a nanny through an agency who had met her a bunch of times. But before I did, I completely checked her references and she got an amazine one. Then I had her come a few weeks before I went back to work so I could watch her and see how she was with DD. If I didn't like what I saw, I would have let her go. But thankfully I did like her. But it took a while to build up trust. I have recently been looking for someone new and just can't do it because I cannot trust anyone new. But you will have to do it - and it will be so hard but it will get easier.

Oh - I also installed nanny cams so I am able to see what goes on. That makes me feel a million times better!

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

SO hard, I have BTDT and doing it again now. Family fell through for me, then I put DS in center, and was not happy, so then I found an in home provider. My intuition told me it was the right place for him, and literally I NEVER worry about him now, I know it was the right choice. Unfortunetely she is moving, so I had to find ANOTHER new place. Like you, I am not thrilled with traditional day care, so in home is really all I will consider. I just had lists of people to call from the NYS website (child care counsil) and also you can do a check through little flower (they check on them more than the state does)

I found both of my in home providers on craigs list (but also cross references through NYS.

It's a process and a hard one. What does give me a bit of solace is that one of the boys will be a child that my DS has been with every day for months at the old day care, and two other children will be a coworkers children. So there will be a lot of feedback. Trust is so huge, and I know it will take a few weeks to feel 100% comfy, but I do think it will work out. Just talk to and visit as many providers as you can.

Good Luck, and if you need any help, FM me.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

All of my friends who hired nannys said Craigslist was horrible, the people who responded made them willing to quit ther jobs instead of hand their child over...I dont have any personal experience there though.

One friend found a nanny through word of mouth, another when through an agency, and a third took o ut an ad in the local town crier/pennysavers. All 3 have sitters come to them.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

Before DS turned 1 I found my nanny through word of mouth and she came to my house. After he turned 1, I put him in a daycare for 2 days per week and he thrived there so I enrolled him full time.

It is very stressful/hard finding childcare that you trust esp when it comes to your children. Once you do find somebody it will get a little better.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

I prefer to have my children in a center. There are more regulations and rules so to speak that must be followed. I feel that in someone's home it's an anything goes kinda feeling and aren't sure that it's a "real work
' environment for the provider. JMO.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

I just wanted to add, that although mine are in home, they are mini centers...not just someones house. Just a center on a small scale. The new one i have him in has different programs for each group. Babies/toddler/preschool, and ALL of the teachers have degrees in education. I found this to be a great alternative to someone just "babysitting " him in their home, but not having to go to the large center. I like communicating with only a few peopel in regards to his care.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

Maybe rethinking your reasons for not wanting your DC in daycare should be an option.
The reasons I wanted my child i a Daycare facility far outweighed my wanting to keep him home in a 1 on 1 setting, not that that is bad, just not what worked for me.

I didi check out the Irish Echo, a paper published in Queens, they have a link online with TONS of qualified people and a whole daycare section. You may also want to try a placement service, of which I have no suggestions.

Rethinking your options might just be your only option, I wouldn't trust craigslist myself.....

Edited to correct the newspaper, it's the Irish ECHO......

Message edited 1/22/2009 3:22:05 PM.

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

This may be of no help...

Dont limit yourself to finding someone to come to your home. Look at some centers, some in home centers, bringing him to a sitters, etc...

Look in the Pennysavers, Craigslist, & online....ask for referrals on here, call your pediatrician, ask anyone and everyone you know...

Then, and this comes from experience, go with your gut...

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

We use a traditional center and I really feel that the structured curriculum (DS is 18 months old) is more like a pre school and he has done so well with it.

I was so nervous that he wouldn't feel "loved" but he is truly happy to be there and is always content when I arrive.

Shop around, visit a few places, you might feel more comforable in a traditional setting

Re: how do you do it, daycare related

Although my DD is older it was very hard for me to put her in daycare. With that being said I chose a great center and she is thriving there. The teachers are wonderful and caring. If you want the name FM me