how do you explain and handle jealousy between siblings?

2.5yo ds was sooo sweet to dd but is starting to really do some physical damage to her.... pulling her hair out, laying on top of her, kicking, grabbing, pinching her... a lot of times i know he wants to hug her and play with her, maybe doesn't realize he's hurting her but i don't want this to go any further. have tried explaining and lecturing but doesn't seem to work. what have you done? TIA for sharing.

Re: how do you explain and handle jealousy between siblings?

It's not the same, but my younger son was the same way with our new puppy, and he still us, but not as bad. He would hug her too hard to the point where she would growl. He'll step on her when she's sleeping, etc... We talk, we yell, we try to get him to empathize. But what works the best is when DH smothers DS. Of course the makes sure not yo hurt him, but he'll hold him down or hug him hard and ask him how he likes it. That usually gets him to knock it off, at least for a while.

how do you explain and handle jealousy between siblings?

it seems so hard at this age because they seem too young to understand.....

Re: how do you explain and handle jealousy between siblings?

When my DD (almost 2) started getting too rough and hitting me or hitting the dogs, we got a bunch of books about good behavior like "hands are not for hitting" and "feet are not for kicking" and "how do dinosaurs play with their dogs?"... They are series of books which cover different themes and I'm sure they include siblings. They have one about dinosaurs playing with friends.
I also heard it can be helpful to involve the child in taking care of the younger sibling or pet, that totally helped with the dog issue. We read the books and talked about caring for them and she immediately seemed to get it and walked over to pet her in the middle of reading the book. Her behavior with other kids is much better too (with reminders but she gets it immediately).

Re: how do you explain and handle jealousy between siblings?

My 2 are very close together.
Both get very jealous of each other.

I spend divided time with each of them. I started the older in gymboree when DD was born & we did that together (on weekends when DH was home).

When the older "graduated" gymboree, I started the younger & the older gets isolated reading time with me.

And yes, you gotta watch them carefully.