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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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How do you feel or react when people...
Are supposed to be listening to you but will also do things like use their computer, check their cellphone, tidy up their desk, etc.
I thought it was me so I started keeping my conversations extremely brief. But some people just have ADD or something and can't concentrate unless they're the ones talking.
I've started clipping my nails in their presence to show them how it feels.
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Posted 2/12/08 12:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
It is really frustrating. FH does this sometimes and I have to stop what I'm saying just to ask him if he's listening.
My mother is the WORST! I'll be talking to her on the phone and she'll start having a conversation with someone who is in the room with her...  drives me insane because it's ridiculously rude. And G.O.D forbid you call her out or do the same to her, she gets so insulted. 
Message edited 2/12/2008 12:48:55 PM.
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| Posted 2/12/08 12:48 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I actually have ADD and for me if I am looking at you I;m probably not absorbing as much as if I am doing something else while I am talking.
Honestly I can absorb more if I have another activity to spill over into. I know it probably bothers people, but I need to do what I can to keep my attention where it needs to be.
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| Posted 2/12/08 12:50 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
It depends. I make a point of waiting until the person I need to speak to is finished doing what they're doing. If however, they ask me what I want, I will start to speak to them.
I find it somewhat rude b/c to me it conveys that what I'm asking is not quite important enough for their full attention but on the other hand, it could just be that the person is REALLY busy.
So basically I assess the situation on a "case by case" basis.
If they do it all the time regardless, well, than in my opinion, it's kind of rude.
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| Posted 2/12/08 12:53 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by JenniferEver
I actually have ADD and for me if I am looking at you I;m probably not absorbing as much as if I am doing something else while I am talking.
Honestly I can absorb more if I have another activity to spill over into. I know it probably bothers people, but I need to do what I can to keep my attention where it needs to be.
I don't mean while you're talking, I mean while I'm talking. I have a manager who will make direct eye contact as long as he's the one talking. Five seconds into me talking, he's checking his email or sorting papers.
I try to understand, I really do think he has ADD. But it sounds like you make an effort to deal with that. Which is all anyone can ask.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:02 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by JenniferEver
I actually have ADD and for me if I am looking at you I;m probably not absorbing as much as if I am doing something else while I am talking.
Honestly I can absorb more if I have another activity to spill over into. I know it probably bothers people, but I need to do what I can to keep my attention where it needs to be.
I don't mean while you're talking, I mean while I'm talking. I have a manager who will make direct eye contact as long as he's the one talking. Five seconds into me talking, he's checking his email or sorting papers.
I try to understand, I really do think he has ADD. But it sounds like you make an effort to deal with that. Which is all anyone can ask.
Well, see it's the same thing with me.. When I'm talking it's more engaing for my brian..my hands are moving, my mouth is moving, I cna think of ways to say what I am saying..There's a lot of physical activity which helps..listening is actually a LOT harder to do for someone with ADD. I am a big interrupter and I HATE that.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:04 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I usually say "Should I come back at another time? It looks like you are busy."
That either clues them in or I do reschedule.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:08 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by leighla
I usually say "Should I come back at another time? It looks like you are busy."
That either clues them in or I do reschedule.
I would say "no this is fine" and keep typing. 
ETA: if the person really does have ADD try not to take it personally and cut him some slack. Seriously.
Whenever we have meetings I take copious notes nad write down almost every word spoken. people think I do it because I am really nerdy or anal. I do it so that I can spill over into the writing and pay attention to what's going on.
The thing with people with ADD is our minds are going 1000 miles a minute, and we often NEED to multitask otherwise we're lost.
Message edited 2/12/2008 1:13:07 PM.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:09 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by leighla
I usually say "Should I come back at another time? It looks like you are busy."
That either clues them in or I do reschedule.
I would say "no this is fine" and keep typing.
My response would be "Really, because it seems like you have something else going on."
If it is the case where you need to be doing mulitple things then your response should be "I'm listening to you, butI do better when I multi-task."
That way the other person doesn't feel bad.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:11 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by leighla
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by leighla
I usually say "Should I come back at another time? It looks like you are busy."
That either clues them in or I do reschedule.
I would say "no this is fine" and keep typing.
My response would be "Really, because it seems like you have something else going on."
If it is the case where you need to be doing mulitple things then your response should be "I'm listening to you, butI do better when I multi-task."
That way the other person doesn't feel bad.
I'd probably say "No, really this is fine" and STILL keep typing. I'm trying to picture this and it has happenned. People with ADD are also bad at picking up social cues like that. Most of the time I don't even realize I'm interrupting people, doing 10 things at once or otherwise being rude. It's not necessarily a conscious decision, but part of the way I live 24/7.
My mom, my FH and my family all think I'm so rude when we're having a conversation and I'm doing a crossword puzzle... but I can pay attention more and interrupt a lot less. Sounds weird, but it's true!
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:15 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
i'vebeen doing this recently with a friend from work. she talks INCESSANTLY... like i can't get a word in edgewise, so i find that I try to do other things because other wise i waste my prep. period and lucnh and dont' get anything done because she is talking. I'll say someting like, "Im listening" as she's talking and im typing or cleaning up my classroom, but most of the time, it's not a two-way conversation, so i try to get thigns done. it's probably a bit rude, but sometimes listening to her is a compelte waste of time.
Message edited 2/12/2008 1:59:04 PM.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:58 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I'll throw in a ridiculous phrase just to see if they are paying attention.
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| Posted 2/12/08 1:59 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
doesn't bother me one bit...in fact, i'm doing it right now.
I'm a multitasker.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:00 PM |
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I'm a pretty good multi-tasker, so if I am doing soemthng when someone is trying to talk to me, I usually say "I'm listening - it may seem like I'm not, but I am". I don't know if it's rude or not, but I always have so much to do during the day, that I try to do as much as possible - sometimes at the same time - to get it all done. 
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:03 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by Shorty
doesn't bother me one bit...in fact, i'm doing it right now.
I'm a multitasker.
Same with me.
I listen with my ears, not my eyes.
I am very guilty of it, turning around and doing something else. so It dont bother me if someone else does it.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:04 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by Shorty
doesn't bother me one bit...in fact, i'm doing it right now.
I'm a multitasker.
Same with me.
I listen with my ears, not my eyes.
I am very guilty of it, turning around and doing something else. so It dont bother me if someone else does it.
Doesn't really bother me either. I work with people who are totally addicted to their email / blackberries / etc., so it's a common occurrence. 99% of the time, they are actually listening to me, too...
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:06 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I'm sorry, did you say something?
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:14 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by donegal419
i'vebeen doing this recently with a friend from work. she talks INCESSANTLY... like i can't get a word in edgewise, so i find that I try to do other things because other wise i waste my prep. period and lucnh and dont' get anything done because she is talking. I'll say someting like, "Im listening" as she's talking and im typing or cleaning up my classroom, but most of the time, it's not a two-way conversation, so i try to get thigns done. it's probably a bit rude, but sometimes listening to her is a compelte waste of time.
I agree with this too. My co-workers talk a LOT and sometimes I am just busy so I Keep typing while they talk out of necessity. If I turned around to listen all the time I'd get nothing at all done.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:16 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
it depends on who it is and what we are talking about.
only YOU know how you operate, and if you don't want to seem rude, you should let people know you work better when you are doing multiple things.
I myself do it a lot when I am on the phone (ha ha, you can't see me LOL) but try to give people my full attention in person, so it's nice to have the same in return. I don't like feeling like I am competing will the computer, the tv, the expense report, the email yadda yadda yadda. If I took the time to come to you, give me that same time in return.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:28 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Im guilty of being that person !!! DH gets sooo annoyed at me.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:30 PM |
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luckystars3
2015
Member since 11/07 2378 total posts
Name:
Julie
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Posted by Kara
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by Shorty
doesn't bother me one bit...in fact, i'm doing it right now.
I'm a multitasker.
Same with me.
I listen with my ears, not my eyes.
I am very guilty of it, turning around and doing something else. so It dont bother me if someone else does it.
Doesn't really bother me either. I work with people who are totally addicted to their email / blackberries / etc., so it's a common occurrence. 99% of the time, they are actually listening to me, too...
I am guilty of it too! I dont mean to do it but I know I do it. I dont mind when its done to me b/c I know I do it.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:30 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I'm guilty of that at work. I am always in the middle of something at my computer, and I will make sure to tell people who come into my office, "Sorry, I am listening to you, I'm just trying to finish this." I get very antsy thinking about what I have to do if I just stop everything and listen.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:33 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
Doesnt bother me either. well depends on the time and place and who it is.
My husband can talk 24-7, so Im usually doing SOMETHING (folding laundry or putting away dishes) while he's talking.and usually i'll throw him a kitchen towel and he'll jump right in and help out while we talk. 
My OCD and ADD combined 
I actually get more annoyed at those that just hang around (your desk or home) and have NO agenda, nothing to get home to, and think YOU have no agenda too...
the stagnant mind makes me crazy
so I think it goes both ways. 
am I totally on a tangent of my own ? 
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:47 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: How do you feel or react when people...
I've used it as a tactic with people who talk too much, or to give them the idea that their interruption is not welcome if I'm in the middle of something very important and very time sensitive.
Which is why I gave the benefit of the doubt, that I was the problem. But everyone gets the same treatment regardless of how much or little they talk.
Judging by the responses, I guess we're just short on politeness in corporate America! Probably why email is so popular.
I suppose I need to start being more of a b*tch at work.
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| Posted 2/12/08 2:49 PM |
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