How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Ryan knows his own parts. He calls his penis a penis. Great.

Now he has to shower with me these days b/c we're under construction and that's my easiest option.

He used to just call my breasts and parts "mommy's body" collectively. Now, he's up close and personal and really is curious.

I told him my breasts are my breasts - mommy's body. But he wants to touch them. Insists, "touch mommy's breasts". I have let him (quickly there ya go situation), b/c I'm thinking if I let him during this potential phase he'll get over it and that'll be the end of it.

DH isn't so sure about my approach. Is it OK that I'm letting him touch my breasts? What are my other options? I don't want him thinking the human body is so taboo, etc.

Message edited 10/9/2009 3:19:01 PM.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

I am not sure if I would let DS touch them. I would label them properly. I will say we went through something similar. DS just saw me nurse DD for the first time last week and he asked me if he could nurse too, I said no. I told him that when he was DDs age, he nursed too but that mommy's milk was just for DD and he was a big boy who got to have so many other great things.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

I don't know how I plan on approaching it. Luckily Kaydyn hasn't asked yet. She doesn't ever really come into the bathroom with me and she very rarely sees either one of us without our clothes.

I think, though, at a certain age we have to let them know that they do not touch other people's private parts. It's fine to question and I agree about labelling the parts accurately, but I think I would stress that we don't touch other people's private parts.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

I think it's fine to let him touch them once out of curiosity, explain what they are and move on. If he asks again explain what they are and just redirect the touching is what I would do.
I ran into that with DD as well. I think Americans make too much of the human body and nudity. I try to take a laid back approach instead of making it a big deal or taboo.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

i do not think i would let him touch them. now that he knows what they are, i think would be a good time to explain to him about what is private and what is not.

you can tell him that these are mommy's breasts (or vagina, etc.) and that you have them because you are a girl, and he has a penis because he is a boy. then, if you think he's ready, you can tell him that these are private parts and that no one except he, mommy and daddy can touch them (or however you want to explain it to him).

do you think he would understand something like that?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

I told my sons that my body was mine and their bodies were theirs and declined their request to touch or feel my boobs. They did not need to touch my bare breasts after they finished breastfeeding, and so they did not. It was never a big deal. They asked and I declined. They insisted and I treated it as I treat every other situation where they persist after being given an answer. If your son asked you for a cookie and you said no - and he insisted - what would you do? Whatever you would do in that situation, I would do the same here. Consistancy in all matters is my advice for whatever it is worth.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

I believe my son is around the same age as yours (28 months). He walked in on me getting dressed this morning, and said, Are those mommy's boobies...and I said yes, and he said, can I touch them, and I told him no, and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Posted by want2beamom

and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Posted by want2beamom

Are those mommy's boobies...and I said yes, and he said, can I touch them, and I told him no, and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Honestly, would name and even let him touch them once. But then I would keep them covered in his presence. That's just me. I belive when they start to notice its time to start to cover up.

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by want2beamom

and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

OMG

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

My son did want to touch my breasts once so far. I figured it was fine, he did it briefly out of curiosity, and it seems pretty normal to me that young children want to know what these things are. If you aren't comfortable, I think it's fine to tell him they are your brests in future.

My son got momentarily upset that he doesn't have breasts. I had to remind him he has a penis and Mommy does not, that cheered him right up!

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Posted by want2beamom

I believe my son is around the same age as yours (28 months). He walked in on me getting dressed this morning, and said, Are those mommy's boobies...and I said yes, and he said, can I touch them, and I told him no, and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

Posted by want2beamom

I believe my son is around the same age as yours (28 months). He walked in on me getting dressed this morning, and said, Are those mommy's boobies...and I said yes, and he said, can I touch them, and I told him no, and he said are they disgusting mommy (well yes sweetheart, after 2 kids, yes they are!!!)

Re: How do you handle toddler body part questions?

With both DC, we explain what the body parts are, but we also teach DS that he can't go around touching anyone's body without permission. Not their chest, their head, their legs, their face, etc. We also explain "private parts", and what is and isn't appropriate.