how do you make it better?

we just lost our angel at 35 weeks. i think its my hormones but i am guilt-ridden over how badly i want...well need to be pregnant again...NOW. it is so overwhelming. i havn't even grieved over my baby yet. i am having so many difficulties with all this.

Re: how do you make it better?

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can relate, while my situation is somewhat different, I had a loss regardless. I lost one of my twin baby boys after I delivered him. I still am not even close to addressing all of my grief. While I know how blessed I am to have my surviving baby, it does not take away the pain. I wish you all the best and I cannot tell you when to start trying again because I just think that is such a personal decision, especially under these circumstances. I think it is completely normal to be anxious to have another and you should NOT feel guilty - you had a loss and you want what you should have had.

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I don't know what the answer for you is but I wanted to wish you all the best as I can not imagine how you get through that except to say that you will, somehow.

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i am so sorry for your loss it's a very personal decision but i know that there are a few ladies on this board who have gone through something similar. i don't think it is bad at all that you are feeling this need to be pregnant again. it's not like you are trying to replace the baby you lost. you will always love him, and he will always be in your heart. you just have a strong desire to create a new life. there is NOTHING wrong with that, and it's something that only you and your DH can decide.

Re: how do you make it better?

i am so sorry for your loss.. my heart aches for you....

i feel the same way as you.. i lost my baby at 16 Weeks.. and right away i just wanted another so badly, that i havent had the chance to grieve and still to this day i want to be pregnant again more than anything..

i think we all have to heal emotionally.. its gods way of saying to wait to try again..

i am so sorry again..

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I'm so sorry for your loss...it doesn't get better for a long time.
We lost our son at 22 weeks and I still have very bad days, but they are less frequent.

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i am very sorry for your loss

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I am so sorry for your loss

Re: how do you make it better?

Hi Nicole,

I sent you an FM after seeing your post on FHF but I had to respond to this.

I too, just suffered the horrendous tragedy of losing a baby. I COMPLETELY know how you feel. You carried a baby around for 30 plus weeks, you expected to bring home a baby. You expected to be at home loving him, nurturing him,caring for him... Believe me this is only natural!!! I suffered with this guilt and I still do, as it has been almost 3 months. I so much want to have a baby to love and I am not able to have that right now.I am only starting to come to terms with this guilt via therapy. But I do feel the guilt. I have met quite a few angel mommies since losing my son and a lot of them feel or felt they needed to have another child right away... to help in the healing process. Others decide to wait. It is a personal process.


One thing you need to know: your precious baby will never ever be replaced so you do not need to worry. I took comfort in someone recently telling me that it was important to have another or two, not because it would be a replacement for my son, but simply because I had a ton of love to give a child. It was comforting to know that is was okay for me to have the same sort of love again, but here on earth. I have also taken comfort in others who have told me that Liam would love to have a brother and sister and wouldn't be mad but in fact very excited.

Hope you find a little bit of peace, many and prayers continued.

Message edited 12/4/2008 6:21:58 PM.

Re: how do you make it better?

I am so sorry for your loss.

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I am so very sorry for your loss

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just wanted to say how sorry i am for you.....

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I am so sorry for your loss.. my prayers are with you and your family! You should take all the time you need to take care of things for you!

Many hugs to you!

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I'm so so sorry for your loss.

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i am so very sorry for your loss you and your little angel will always be in my prayers

Re: how do you make it better?

I am so very sorry for your loss

To be honest - nothing makes it better I too lost a son at a month old. And the desire to have another child consumed DH and I. Not to replace him - but losing him showed me exactly how much I wanted a child. We TTC once we were given the okay only to then find out we both had INF issues (got pg with our son without even trying).

Therapy and bereavement counseling helped tremendously. But I think the most comfort for me was speaking to other Moms who had walked in my shoes and knew what I was going through. Babies are not supposed to die - parents are supposed to outlive their children. Saying good-bye to your baby is something no person should ever have to go through. It changes you forever. There are some wonderful women on LIF who have lost their precious children and can help you if/when you are ready

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i am so sorry for your loss, i pray you get the strength to get thru this

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I am so sorry for your loss

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I cannot imagine what you are going through and I have no words of advice.

I am so sorry for your loss!

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I am so sorry for you and your family your little angel is beautiful

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I am so sorry......You are in my thoughts and prayers....

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I am so sorry for your loss

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I am so sorry for your loss.