How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I feel guilty when I am not playing with her-- but, with a baby that takes two 30 min naps, I need some downtime (and time to post questions like this!!).

Most of the time she doesn't let me get away with just sitting here-- but, for the times she does-- am I being a bad mommy? I just need breaks, and/or I got shite I need to take care of.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I think it's good for them to learn to play on their own! Its just not practical for me to able to play with him all the time!! Do not feel guilty at all

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I allow DS to play on his own whenever he wants to, but if he wants to play with me, that's what we'll do. He is usually pretty good, about 50/50.

Of course sometimes his definition of playing on his own means going into the kitchen and opening up all the cabinets so I consider that mommy time too

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

What you wrote, I could have written myself. I think it's totally normal to feel like you're not doing enough for your DC or to question whether you should be doing something for them/with them when you're not. At least it's normal for this Mommy! I've learned that if I don't take breaks during the day to take care of things that need to be taken care of, whether they be for the house, myself, my job, etc., then I'm not a happy person and get overwhelmed. As long as you're balancing playing with DC and taking care of yourself and other things that need to get done, you're fine. You're only one person and can only do what you know you're capable of. Everyone needs a break sometimes.

With my older DS, it's about 50/50.

Message edited 1/13/2010 3:25:33 PM.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

Honestly, DD almost plays better by herself than when I play with her. I let her play a lot by herself. And yes, I know what you mean about feeling gulity....but as long as they are happy, that's what matters!

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

DH and I were talking about this over the weekend--do we indulge him too much with play? I think generally, no. M-F I am the one home with DS, and while I do play with him, there are good chunks of time when I need to do other things and he has to amuse himself a bit.

But on weekends, DH plays with him a lot (since he barely sees him during the week) and I play with him a lot (since I can do other stuff around the house while DH is with him). But we don't wind up spending that much time with each other, so I think we need to encourage him to play by himself more on weekends.

To answer your question, I think it's good to play with them to a point, but it's also good for them to learn to amuse themselves a bit, which they can definitely do more of by the time they are toddlers.

Message edited 1/13/2010 3:28:05 PM.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

i know i feel awful when she actually plays by herself for long periods of time without needing me. i try to remind myself that it's important for her to play independently and she'll need me sooner or later so i don't try to interrupt her...for the most part, in a day i'd say she plays by herself a whole whopping 10-15 minutes. doesn't sound like a lot but when you're goofing off on the computer or watching tv and they are playing by themselves makes you feel like crap.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

My DD plays alone alot. I am sitting right there but she is having fun and entertaining herself. I think that's very important.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

DD is very good at entertaining herself. She'll now wake up in the morning (on the weekends when we don't have to run out the door so I can go to work) and sit on her bed and talk to her stuffed animals for 20-25 mins.

She's always been very independent and liked to do things on her own. I sometimes feel bad, but whenever she tries to interact with me I make sure I acknowledge her. She will come over occasionally with a toy for both of us to play with but that is few and far between.

I thnk it's a wonderful trait for her to be able to entertain herself.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

My kids entertain each other alot(or brawl) I end up going in every 20 minutes or so to sit with them, read a book, etc. Then while They eat I name all the foods, tell them what I'm doing, sing songs and I read them a book after breakfast and lunch. But they do spend a good chunk of time with independent play

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

Posted by headoverheels

I allow DS to play on his own whenever he wants to, but if he wants to play with me, that's what we'll do. He is usually pretty good, about 50/50.

Of course sometimes his definition of playing on his own means going into the kitchen and opening up all the cabinets so I consider that mommy time too

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

DD is pretty good at independent play for a 5 month old. I feel like its a catch 22 though because I believe independent play is important, even so I always feel guilty doing stuff for myself while she plays on her own

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I read the other day in I think my parent magazine that it's good to give newborns alone playtime, at least an hour a day not a straight hour haha but throughout the day, it's good for them to learn to entertain themselves.

Sometimes when i need to get things done since I don't have a good napper either....I put him on his playmat and sing and talk to him as I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing. He likes his mobile in the crib, so I'll put him in that and I know he's happy b/c he chats away and his legs go crazy.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

The majority of the day both kids play by themselves. After Alexa's late afternoon nap I sit down with both of them and play with them. Then I give them dinner, bottle, PJ's, bed

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

i think its important that mommies get their down time!!

dont feel guilty!!

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I let them play independently all the time. I'll be in the room with them, of course, but they play on their own. THey keep each other entertained. Sometimes I'll get down on the floor and play with them but I think they actually prefer playing by themselves/ with each other than with me.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

My DS plays alone alot. He loves to play with his toys and pretty much everything else in the house. As soon as he started crawling, he is always on the move.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

you mean she can play on their own? without me playing with her? Naah

OMG DD won't give me a break for one sec. , all I hear all day is : mommy,mom,mama,ma....... come play,play toys, play with me, PLEASE play (as if I never play with her and she needs to bag
)she is like little Stewie Griffin

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I was wondering this the other day, also. DS is 22 months and just last week started to bolt to his toy room after I hand him his milk when we get home from daycare (around 3pm). He usually asks for an Elmo dvd, and I go in and put it on and he is content in there by himself for a long time. Every once in a while he pops his head into the kitchen (where I usually am), and then goes back to playing. The other day, I actually sat down on the couch and watched the 5 o'clock news by myself... I was in shock!

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

okay im a new mommy of a 4 month old and i let him jump in his jumperooo and watch baby einstein and he loves it and when the 25 mn video is over he yells to tell me its over and i replay it and walk away .. for the most part i sit in front of him and play with him but i do give him alone time i hope im doing a good job.. i don't know how much TV they should be watching prob. not as much as i put it on ,,

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I let him play alone a lot. I will sit in the room on the computer. I think it is important for them to learn to play independently. Don't feel guilty!

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

I do my best. I work. I cannot feel guilty about not spending every non-working minute of the day with Abby. I am entitled to time for myself as well.

That being said, when I have home-based errands to run, I do them. Abby's set up is complete with toys and music in the background. She is content by herself and rather independent.

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

Re: How much do you let DC play on their own vs you playing with them?

Honestly, I rarely play with DD. She is a very independent baby and loves to interact with her toys. She does love her playdates with her friends and to have fun with her brothers and sister when they come over, but for the most part, she hangs out by herself and is very content.