How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

I work with autistic children, some mild and some severe. Lately my severe child has been acting out and I am learning new techniques, some that may seem harsh, on how to deal with him. I come home every day, not venting, but getting stuff off my chest about how the day went and all and I am scaring the living daylights out of my husband. He wants to know medical facts on children born with autism, what the chances are of our child having it and on and on because of all these stories I bring home. He's my best friend, and I need to get this out at the end of a long draining day and don't feel comfortable calling my friends to discuss it, as they haven't a clue about my job and wouldn't understand, but my DH has been hearing it since I started this job, so he understands and is a good listener. I just feel bad that I am scaring him, when in the not so distant future we will be trying for our own. Any advice? Does anyone else bring a lot of work stuff home with them?

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

i constantly talk to my family and friends about work nd the kids. I need to vent some how. Some family memebers know certain students by first name!!!!!!

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

I don't usually bring home work because my job usually goes very smoothly. But if I have major issues... i'll mention it to my wife.

My wife usually doesn't bring stuff to me either... but there was one instance that really bothered her and I offered my advice on the situation at the time.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

I vent everyday. There are some things I have to get off my chest. Sometimes its hard to explain things to him because we are not in the same business. So something thats shocking to me he wouldnt understand. So thats sort of like what you are going through....

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Message edited 2/16/2006 7:47:29 PM.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

DH & I talk about work on most days -- it's a huge part of our daily life so it's something we chat about. If there's a big issue we really discuss it.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Message edited 12/27/2006 7:57:41 PM.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

We catch up almost every day about work. He knows all my students by name, he visits my class each year too (he gets more of an idea of what I do). DH tells me about whatever trial he is doing and interesting work events. We both vent to each other too. But, it is brief then we move on to other topics.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

When I was working with that population (adults too), I would rarely talk about my day. I just needed to walk away from it. My boyfriend at the time didn't need to hear about the day to day things - he saw the bruises. I did tell him the big things like the day that the woman who never spoke in 5 months said something, things like that.

Now I tell DH about work (different job) but it looks like he's not that interested.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

boop...we do the same thing and i find the best way to relieve a lot of the day is to come home and just write my session notes (even before I talk to my husband). It definately helps get a lot of the day off my chest and it is a good realease without having to "scare" my husband. Not sure if you have a case supervisor or how close you are with this person but they are another good avenue to just let the day out. Its hard to talk to someone who is not in the field. The only other thing I would say is please dont talk about it to your friends, you just never know who knows who and who will repeat your stories, and if you must just leave out names. Confidentiality is a BIG BIG deal. If you ever need to vent you can definately FM me.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Everyday we talk about what went on at work...some days nothing, some days it could be a looooooong talk

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Posted by Moehick

Everyday we talk about what went on at work...some days nothing, some days it could be a looooooong talk

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

i work with autistic children also and my DH doesn't really understand so it's hard to talk to him about some things. i have a several friends that work with the population too so i can usually talk to them. but usually it's my coworkers that are most helpful. i'm an SLP so the teachers that i work with and i vent to each other ALL the time since we are working with the same kids. do you have anyone you work with that you could talk to?

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

double post

Message edited 2/16/2006 10:07:06 PM.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Unless something major happened, DH and I don't really go into a great deal of detail about work. When I leave for the day, I like to leave the office behind me. That has been difficult lately, as I've been bringing work home. He hears more about coworkers and my workload than my actual clients. I usually talk about my cases with my coworkers or other friends in the field during my drive home.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

I also work with children in the special education field (autistic, physically and emotionally handicapped) and if it wasnt for my husband listening to all the good and bad, I think I would have burned out a long time ago. I know he doesnt totally understand what I deal with or even what I am talking about all the time but it is nice to just have someone listen without trying to solve anything. It makes me feel better at the end of the day and re-energized to go back for more
ps-even though i have friends in the same field it is still not the same as taking to my husband

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

I talk about my job a lot with DH, I am actually doing work at home now, I travel for work occasionally so he can't help but knwo about all that stuff & we tell each other litle thing, depending on the day, it is part of our day.

And he is on call ever 4-6 weeks so, I have to ask about that to not make any plans, etc, & if he gets a call, I;m not jsut goign to ingore , it Iusaly ask him if was dificult or not. .

but neither of our jobs are controversal or anything. If he was say, an EMT, I don't think I could listen to all the gory details, but I'd still want to know how his day went.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

DH and I talk about work alot. We are both psychiatric social workers and both work for the state, so we vent alot. There came a point though, when we both worked for another agency together, that we had to stop talking about it because it just wasn't healthy to spend so much time fixated on a place we hated.
Now that we're both happy, I like coming home and hearing about his day and venting or telling him good stuff about mine.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

Me and DH vent to each other about our jobs.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

DH and I talk about our jobs everyday

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

DH and I talk about our jobs most nights even if it's just for a few minutes. We're both lawyers although we practice in different areas and have very different interests. I like hearing about his day and the cases he works on. We work in 2 different states (I work in NY and he works in CT) so it's interesting to see how the practices and procedures differ.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

DH talks about his job a lot. I don't really talk about it that much.

ETS: I try to listen to him, but sometimes he complains about the silliest things and I tell him, "well you're getting paid to work, aren't you?" and he doesn't like that

I think there is a difference between venting, which we are all entitled to do, and habitually complaining, which gets annoying.

Message edited 2/17/2006 10:57:18 AM.

Re: How often, if at all do you discuss your job with your SO??

We always talk about work-related problems. JT worked with autistic children, and so did I, only I worked with them before he ever started to, and I know when I would tell him stories, he would get freaked out. Once he started working with them, that fear went away because he was only afraid of the unknown. If anything, it's good that you share these stories because at least he'll know that if you do end up having a child with autism, you are well-prepared to deal with it and can help him deal with it as well. BUt as an expectant parent, I can tell you that there will be MANY MANY more things that will continue to worry you and DH as you get pregnant and even think about getting pregnant. It's normal to be scared of the unknown