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How old to come home alone?

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nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

How old to come home alone?

DS is in 4th grade and I'll leave him alone to run to CVS or short things like that. At what age did you allow your kids to get off the bus and come home alone? How many hours would you be ok with?

Posted 3/29/16 1:48 PM
 

VickiC
Rocking the party

Member since 5/05

4937 total posts

Name:
Vicki

How old to come home alone?

In our district, they won't release kids off the bus unless a parent/guardian on the list is there waiting for them. You might need to check your district rules about that one.

Posted 3/29/16 3:57 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19458 total posts

Name:
L

Re: How old to come home alone?

I would be ok with a fifth grader coming home for about half an hour. Sixth grade for about an hour or two. Not really ok before fifth grade or age ten, IMO. Edit, my neighbors kid comes home for two hours and she is in fifth grade. She knows in an emergency she can get me or another neighbor.

Message edited 3/29/2016 5:37:36 PM.

Posted 3/29/16 5:32 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

How old to come home alone?



never? LOL
We have afterschool care from Kinder through 8th grade at school so I don't see that being an issue for me until at least 9th grade then I'll probably freak out.

I was allowed to be home 'alone' afterschool in High School. But I was in so many afterschool activities (sports, choir, girl scouts, UIL, etc) I was never home and when I was, I was old enough to have a job.

I was latch-key when I was younger but those were different days.

At my old job a coworker let her son be home by himself after school since 4th grade but he has to call her when he walked in the door.

Posted 3/29/16 5:59 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

To run some errands, 10/11. Middle school longer has most schools do not have after care as I guess they feel they are mature at that age to be home alone, and I agree. BTDT and it is our job to make our kids independent and not afraid. It is a great feeling when they don't want to go out with you because they are comfortable being home alone. And of course you can do more things with your spouse or yourself out and about :)

Posted 3/29/16 8:00 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

My district aftercare ends after 6th grade, so it will have to be in 7th grade although Id be more comfortable with a later age, but it is what it is.

Posted 3/29/16 9:18 PM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by VickiC

In our district, they won't release kids off the bus unless a parent/guardian on the list is there waiting for them. You might need to check your district rules about that one.



Our district only requires an adult for kindergarteners and that's what my younger DS is. Anything older then that can get off by themselves. So next year they will get off together, but the bus stop is in front of my house.
I'm thinking more about middle school. My older DS will get home a little earlier and I may not have someone to watch him for about 15 minutes or so.

Posted 3/29/16 9:42 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by nferrandi

Posted by VickiC

In our district, they won't release kids off the bus unless a parent/guardian on the list is there waiting for them. You might need to check your district rules about that one.



Our district only requires an adult for kindergarteners and that's what my younger DS is. Anything older then that can get off by themselves. So next year they will get off together, but the bus stop is in front of my house.
I'm thinking more about middle school. My older DS will get home a little earlier and I may not have someone to watch him for about 15 minutes or so.



Same with ours, they only require someone at the stop for K.

Posted 3/30/16 10:11 AM
 

busymomonli
Resident Insomniac

Member since 4/13

2050 total posts

Name:

How old to come home alone?

We started at 11, sixth grade and beginning of middle school. Granted, he has an older sister in high school. But many days she stays after because she's very involved in school clubs. So more than half the time he is letting himself in. He's done fine with it. He only had one occasion where his key fell out of his backpack and he didn't have it. But we have a secret spot with a spare key and he called me from his cell phone and we walked through him getting in the house. So it worked out fine.

Posted 3/30/16 11:19 AM
 

EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

How old to come home alone?

Honestly I think 10-11 is too young.

It's not that they wouldn't be responsible or not afraid, but I worry about the wackos in the world and burglars. Even if a kid knows what to do..even with a cell or whatever, some things you can't plan for. Maybe if you have a great alarm system or a protective dog.. Maybe.

I was around 10 when I had a scary experience. At the end of the day, you're still just a little kid at that age. While it's easier to shop and do stuff alone, it's my job as a parent to first and foremost keep my child feeling safe and being protected.

So I guess a lot of depends on your home situation (alarm, dog, nearby neighbor who is always home, how close others are).

Maybe 13-14.

Message edited 3/30/2016 1:39:38 PM.

Posted 3/30/16 1:30 PM
 

busymomonli
Resident Insomniac

Member since 4/13

2050 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by EatingMyVeggies

Honestly I think 10-11 is too young.

It's not that they wouldn't be responsible or not afraid, but I worry about the wackos in the world and burglars. Even if a kid knows what to do..even with a cell or whatever, some things you can't plan for. Maybe if you have a great alarm system or a protective dog.. Maybe.

I was around 10 when I had a scary experience. At the end of the day, you're still just a little kid at that age. While it's easier to shop and do stuff alone, it's my job as a parent to first and foremost keep my child feeling safe and being protected.

So I guess a lot of depends on your home situation (alarm, dog, nearby neighbor who is always home, how close others are).

Maybe 13-14.




Unfortunately, it was really forced on us at this age. Our middle school does not offer any aftercare and my summer sitter got a full time job so we really didn't have any other option. I am lucky that the school bus stops at my driveway, so there's no walking involved. I do also have a dog who, while not overly large, barks a ton. So it has worked for us.

I know other people who work are in this same boat at this stage, as most middle schools don't offer any after care.

Posted 3/30/16 4:18 PM
 

Adri
Joy!

Member since 5/05

3116 total posts

Name:
A

Re: How old to come home alone?

Depends on the kid - and the mom Chat Icon In my school in 5th grade (DS's grade) kids can go home by themselves if parents allow. I haven't let him yet. I'd say about 15% of the kids do it. I'm not ready and I think 10 is too young. Most of those kids go to the park by themselves, or hang in a corner looking at their iPhones. I'm not ready yet for that to happen. and as a PP mentioned, there are a lot of crazy people out there that would do no good, specially to kids.

Posted 3/30/16 6:48 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by EatingMyVeggies

Honestly I think 10-11 is too young.

It's not that they wouldn't be responsible or not afraid, but I worry about the wackos in the world and burglars. Even if a kid knows what to do..even with a cell or whatever, some things you can't plan for. Maybe if you have a great alarm system or a protective dog.. Maybe.

I was around 10 when I had a scary experience. At the end of the day, you're still just a little kid at that age. While it's easier to shop and do stuff alone, it's my job as a parent to first and foremost keep my child feeling safe and being protected.

So I guess a lot of depends on your home situation (alarm, dog, nearby neighbor who is always home, how close others are).

Maybe 13-14.




Some don't have a choice and I believe a little at a time is what needs to be done. Some parents now think they will shelter and not allow their kids to do anything until college. That makes no sense to me at all.
I think it does depend on the child and your housing situation but anything can happen to anyone and we are here to help our kids get independent, not hold them back until we are ready.

Posted 3/30/16 7:48 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Adri

Depends on the kid - and the mom Chat Icon In my school in 5th grade (DS's grade) kids can go home by themselves if parents allow. I haven't let him yet. I'd say about 15% of the kids do it. I'm not ready and I think 10 is too young. Most of those kids go to the park by themselves, or hang in a corner looking at their iPhones. I'm not ready yet for that to happen. and as a PP mentioned, there are a lot of crazy people out there that would do no good, specially to kids.
[/QUOTE

Crazy people have always been out there. Now we just here about every single thing because of social media.

Posted 3/30/16 7:49 PM
 

stinger
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

4971 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by EatingMyVeggies

Honestly I think 10-11 is too young.

It's not that they wouldn't be responsible or not afraid, but I worry about the wackos in the world and burglars. Even if a kid knows what to do..even with a cell or whatever, some things you can't plan for. Maybe if you have a great alarm system or a protective dog.. Maybe.

I was around 10 when I had a scary experience. At the end of the day, you're still just a little kid at that age. While it's easier to shop and do stuff alone, it's my job as a parent to first and foremost keep my child feeling safe and being protected.

So I guess a lot of depends on your home situation (alarm, dog, nearby neighbor who is always home, how close others are).

Maybe 13-14.





Some don't have a choice and I believe a little at a time is what needs to be done. Some parents now think they will shelter and not allow their kids to do anything until college. That makes no sense to me at all.
I think it does depend on the child and your housing situation but anything can happen to anyone and we are here to help our kids get independent, not hold them back until we are ready.

:
Chat Icon

Posted 3/30/16 8:42 PM
 

Adri
Joy!

Member since 5/05

3116 total posts

Name:
A

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Adri

Depends on the kid - and the mom Chat Icon In my school in 5th grade (DS's grade) kids can go home by themselves if parents allow. I haven't let him yet. I'd say about 15% of the kids do it. I'm not ready and I think 10 is too young. Most of those kids go to the park by themselves, or hang in a corner looking at their iPhones. I'm not ready yet for that to happen. and as a PP mentioned, there are a lot of crazy people out there that would do no good, specially to kids.
[/QUOTE

Crazy people have always been out there. Now we just here about every single thing because of social media.



I understand that and I respect every body choices even when I don't agree with them. I'm no one to judge what other parents do. Personally I'm not ready. I came from a country that makes me very aware and sometimes paranoid. I just feel that it takes one second to change many things. That's why I said it depends on the kid's (maturity) and the mom (if they are ready). I give him independence and responsibility in other aspects, not being out there for now.

I want to add... I live in what I feel a 'secure' neighborhood. However, I read in the local paper about a mom being robbed her iPhone, a kid being robbed his razor scooter, and I heard a mom sharing her experience with her kids and babysitter being followed by a drunk guy in the middle of the day and having to go inside of a store and the guy hitting the door and saying he wanted the kids. For now, I can pick DS and he has years ahead to learn how to be independent in that way

Message edited 3/30/2016 10:50:51 PM.

Posted 3/30/16 10:37 PM
 

drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!

Member since 6/07

8274 total posts

Name:
me

Re: How old to come home alone?

not until high school

Posted 3/30/16 10:47 PM
 

TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess

Member since 7/05

4939 total posts

Name:
J

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Adri

Depends on the kid - and the mom Chat Icon



I agree with this.

It's all situational.

I'm not saying bad things can't or don't happen in quiet/safe neighborhoods. But I cannot live in fear, and don't want to project that on my kids either

For me, in September (depending on how things play out with what we will do with DD) DS will be in 4th grade. He may have to take the bus home and be alone at home for 15-20min (At the most).

I'm okay with this option because
1- the bus stop is literally 1 house away from ours
2- our neighbors across the street and next door are retired and ALWAYS home (if there were an emergency)
3- DS knows the code for our garage door, so no key is needed (that could get lost).

Last year (when DS was in 2nd) his bus made it to the house before me (by no more than 5-7min) two times, and he made it into the house without an issues. He knew to call me as soon as he got in the house.

Posted 3/31/16 9:12 AM
 

stinger
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

4971 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon

Posted 3/31/16 11:25 AM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Adri

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Adri

Depends on the kid - and the mom Chat Icon In my school in 5th grade (DS's grade) kids can go home by themselves if parents allow. I haven't let him yet. I'd say about 15% of the kids do it. I'm not ready and I think 10 is too young. Most of those kids go to the park by themselves, or hang in a corner looking at their iPhones. I'm not ready yet for that to happen. and as a PP mentioned, there are a lot of crazy people out there that would do no good, specially to kids.
[/QUOTE

Crazy people have always been out there. Now we just here about every single thing because of social media.



I understand that and I respect every body choices even when I don't agree with them. I'm no one to judge what other parents do. Personally I'm not ready. I came from a country that makes me very aware and sometimes paranoid. I just feel that it takes one second to change many things. That's why I said it depends on the kid's (maturity) and the mom (if they are ready). I give him independence and responsibility in other aspects, not being out there for now.

I want to add... I live in what I feel a 'secure' neighborhood. However, I read in the local paper about a mom being robbed her iPhone, a kid being robbed his razor scooter, and I heard a mom sharing her experience with her kids and babysitter being followed by a drunk guy in the middle of the day and having to go inside of a store and the guy hitting the door and saying he wanted the kids. For now, I can pick DS and he has years ahead to learn how to be independent in that way



This stuff happened 20-30 years ago. We just didn't hear about it (not phones but other things).
I think you just need to teach your kids to be aware of things but we can not hold them back and think they will be ready to jump out in the world at 18 years old. It just won't work that way. It didn't years ago and it won't now.

Posted 3/31/16 12:55 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



My high schooler comes home and sleeps. No worries over here.

Posted 3/31/16 12:56 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".

Message edited 3/31/2016 1:46:36 PM.

Posted 3/31/16 1:45 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

How old to come home alone?

I would not be comfortable until High School for my DD. I might run the store and leave her a little bit before then but not to let herself into an empty house after school.

I will say that when I was younger, my mom went to work and when I was in 5th Grade I can home alone and watched my sister who was in 1st for about an hour. But and the big but is that all of my neighbors were home and they knew when I was coming in and they checked in on me. So while I was alone, I really wasn't because an adult was always screaming distance away. Unfortunately today most neighborhoods are not like that.

Posted 3/31/16 2:04 PM
 

EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".





Chat Icon Chat Icon

Plus it was just on the news that so many sex offenders can't be located. Thousands!

I dont think I like the argument of "some people have no choice," either. Just my opinion. You hire a babysitter or some adult presence to be around.

But again different strokes. Do what u feel comfy with.

Posted 3/31/16 2:16 PM
 

WonderLady
LIF Infant

Member since 1/15

355 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



Lol. A lot of these answers surprise me. By 13 we were taking buses to the mall etc.

Eta and it wasn't "a different world" back then like people mistakenly believe.

Imo keeping reigns too tight is a disservice to a child's greater safety.

Message edited 3/31/2016 4:51:34 PM.

Posted 3/31/16 4:44 PM
 
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