How to help a shy 2nd grader

DD is in 2nd grade a good student, but extremely shy in the classroom setting. Her teacher informed me that is is a "problem" since she doesn't feel she is participating enough in class. She has a tiny voice as well. I have tried to explain to her that is ok to make a mistake, that's how we learn. She does fine in "social" settings like dance and Brownies

Any ideas on how I can help her overcome this?

Thanks for reading

Re: How to help a shy 2nd grader

I hate to say this, but I think its the teacher's job to get her to open in up in school. If she talks in other activities, but won't in school, then maybe there is something about that classroom climate that contributes to her being more shy. Are there more boys? Are the other students more advanced, or more competitive? At that age, I think its a little young for it to be considered your child's "problem" that she is quiet in school. As a teacher, I wouldn't bring that to the parent as a problem, unless I had tried several strategies to get her to be more open in school, kwim? Has she told you what she is doing to help the situation? Maybe ask the teacher to start some sort of tally system or reward chart where she gets something after speaking in class 5 times, etc. Also, ask if she can be paired with someone she is comfortable with, who is also more outgoing, so that a peer can get her to open up, and its less pressure. I would ask the teacher how you can work with her to support your DD more in the classroom. That should but more of the onus on the teacher and less on your DD.

Re: How to help a shy 2nd grader

Honestly, Robin, as a parent and a teacher, I don't agree. It's the teacher's job to express her concerns to the parent. That's what she's doing. I have to assume that she has had conversations with the OP's daughter and has been trying to help her out. You can't force a child to talk, no matter how "comfortable" your classroom is.

I have had a selective mute in my class who literally didn't say one word. Ever. I only knew her voice because I would send home tapes for her to read to me on and then I would record things back to her. It wasn't my main "job" to make her speak, although I tried and tried to get her to open up at least a little. My job was to teach her, make her comfortable and trusting, and encourage her to open up when she was ready. I have several students this year who are barely participating. I've spoken with all their parents, but not in a negative way. I've expressed my concern, told them what I see and what I'm trying and told them we will continue to work on it. Participation is a big part of school and is a big part of the report card as well.

To the OP, what does your daughter say about it? I always tell the kids, "The worst thing that can happen if you give an answer is that you're wrong." Meaning, you won't get in trouble, won't lose any type of points, won't be ridiculed or made to feel badly in any way. But at least you tried, and good effort is important, even if you're wrong. If your daughter is a quiet kid, encourage her to raise her hand when she KNOWS she has the right answer. I'm assuming the teacher will make that a big, positive experience for her. Then she'll feel more comfortable and will hopefully try again. Does she participate in group work? Does she speak positively about school?

Re: How to help a shy 2nd grader

She LOVES school and does well academically. Behaviorally the teacher wishes she had 20 more like her, BUT she is a bit of a perfectionist, tends to work slower because she always wants to do a good job. I do stress at home that it's FINE to make a mistake, that's how we learn, but she does get embarrassed easily. I just want to do
MY BEST to help her.

Thank you both for taking the time to respond

Message edited 11/27/2012 10:24:00 AM.