How would you feel about this

This didn't happen to me - but it's about one of my good friends.

She has always had a fear of flying (but, who hasn't in this world?!) Anyway, a few years ago her best friend of about 15 years was having a destination wedding in Florida and my friend DID NOT go to the wedding because she was scared to fly (she was also supposed to be a bridesmaid)

NOW, she gets a boyfriend and is going to Florida with him.

I personally would be so insulted if I was this other girl, knowing that she missed my wedding because of some supposed "fear" and when she all of a sudden gets a boyfriend and hops on a plane with him as soon as he asks.

This is not the first time either - she was just casually seeing someone once who lived in another state and she talked about flying to visit him.

I personally think it is messed up - and she's lucky it's my wedding she didn't miss because I would be pizzed!!

Curious to see what others think about this!

Re: How would you feel about this

sounds kind of $hitty to me but maybe she worked on her fears all these years and decided to conquer them.

Re: How would you feel about this

I would be really hurt from the get go when she didn't come to the wedding. It's not like Florida is so far that you can't get there other ways (train or car) so to blow of a really good friend's wedding is beyond me in this situation. But to add insult to injury by flying a couple of years later would do permanant damage to the friendship.

Re: How would you feel about this

Re: How would you feel about this

For yeeeeeeeeeeeears my mother didnt fly -

one year I got really sick in Vegas - I was by myself and begged my mom to come get me...and she wouldnt fly.


Now all of a sudden she flies at least once a month. She was just ready to do it.

I can't be bitter about her not coming to vegas - she just wasn't ready.

Re: How would you feel about this

omg I would never speak to her again! and also, has she ever heard of a car? she was in the BP and couldn't find another way to get there? that's BS IMO.

Re: How would you feel about this

If someone has a fear they have a fear--good for her if she has overcome it, I dont see how any1 can say she should "get over it" alot of people do NOT fly, and then one day gather the courage--whatever that reason may be

Re: How would you feel about this

I think that if the friend has been married a few years, she's hopefully over all this by now. If the girl is going to fly now, she is. I don't know if it's worth dredging up that she didn't go to her friend's wedding a few YEARS ago... JMHO.

Message edited 6/19/2007 8:47:03 AM.

Re: How would you feel about this

If I were the bride I would be really upset.

Re: How would you feel about this

Re: How would you feel about this

I would be ******!!!
I think I know who you are talking about

Re: How would you feel about this

Re: How would you feel about this

I have an overwhelming fear of flying. I was on a plane once in my life and never intend to get on one again. Yes, I have missed out on occasions with special people. Thankfully, they've understood. I've tried to overcome this, but, without any success. Just thinking about getting on a plane causes anxiety. I know that, some day, I may have to fly and, when that day comes, I know I will have to deal with it. Until then, I am happy without flying.

Your friend did not fly 15 years ago. Now, it seems she is willing to do so. I would be happy for her and the fact that she may have conquered her fear of flying. Whether it is for a boyfriend or something else, this may have gotten her past what was holding her back. Just because she talked about it before, doesn't mean she was ready. I talk about it, as well. I am no where near ready. I would hope that a good friend would understand and not judge. It may seem illogical to others, but, to those of us who have this fear it is not.

Re: How would you feel about this

I can see both sides.

If I had a best friend that didn't fly and it was important to me that she be in attendance, I don't think I would have planned a destination wedding.

If the wedding was truly important to the friend, she would have driven or taken the train to Florida.

I think people sometimes need "the push" to get them on the plane. For her it was the boyfriend.

Re: How would you feel about this

Sounds to me she may have used her fear of flying back then as an excuse to get out of going to the wedding. There are plenty of alternative means of transportation and if she were a true friend she would have used one to get to the wedding.

So, I think its lame that now all of a sudden she is willing to fly with her boyfriend. Yes, maybe she has gotten over her fear, but where are her priorities?

I don't care what the reason, if my best friend were in any situation (good, bad or otherwise) I would use any and all means to get there and be by her side. That's what friends are for.

Re: How would you feel about this

i'd be pretty p'od.. but it was her loss that she missed my wedding.

and i'd be glad that she finally decided to conquer her fear!

Re: How would you feel about this

Posted by LBG30

I would be ******!!!
I think I know who you are talking about

Re: How would you feel about this

Re: How would you feel about this

I would be insulted...She would get on a plane with a boyfriend..but not for a friend of 15 years.That is not right!

Re: How would you feel about this

I'd be p!ssed. She can fly with her bf but not for a wedding? That's a crappy excuse.

Re: How would you feel about this

On a slightly different twist, here is what happened to me. I wanted to have our wedding in Vegas, at the Bellagio hotel. I got all the info & was beginning planning when DH came to me & told me we could not. His family does not fly & would not be able to come to Vegas. I was crushed & realised that I would not have MY dream wedding. So I planned in NY & we had a great day.

SIX MONTHS LATER Dhs family went to Vegas via Amtrack....just for a 3 day vacation in Vegas.

The moral is: if you really want to be somewhere you will find a way to get there. So Yes, if I were your friend I would be beyond POed. Florida is not 30000000 miles away, if her BM really wanted to go, then they could have driven or taken the train. Flying is not the only way to get to FLA.

Re: How would you feel about this

Re: How would you feel about this

Posted by MsMBV

On a slightly different twist, here is what happened to me. I wanted to have our wedding in Vegas, at the Bellagio hotel. I got all the info & was beginning planning when DH came to me & told me we could not. His family does not fly & would not be able to come to Vegas. I was crushed & realised that I would not have MY dream wedding. So I planned in NY & we had a great day.

SIX MONTHS LATER Dhs family went to Vegas via Amtrack....just for a 3 day vacation in Vegas.

The moral is: if you really want to be somewhere you will find a way to get there. So Yes, if I were your friend I would be beyond POed. Florida is not 30000000 miles away, if her BM really wanted to go, then they could have driven or taken the train. Flying is not the only way to get to FLA.

Re: How would you feel about this

Posted by Shopaholic921

Posted by LBG30

I would be ******!!!
I think I know who you are talking about

me too

If someone was to much of a s*cker to take a plane to my wedding and be part of my special day I would rather her not be there... Shows the kind of friend she is... however, if I later found out she was going to FL with a BF I'd have to FORCE myself not to confront her about it....

Re: How would you feel about this

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt - you have no idea whether or not she's been working on this particular issue. Maybe her friend's wedding was the breaking point, and after that she sought treatment or help?

I used to be TERRIFIED of needles. It got so bad that I would pass out and start shaking uncontrollably. My doctor at one point told me he refused to take blood and ordered me to go to the hospital for any labs. I was like that for years, until I got pregnant, and I didn't have a choice anymore - I worked through my fears, and now, I'm ok.

Things change, and it may just be coincidence that she was able to fly with her boyfriend.