How would you handle bullying situation?

DS is in 1st grade this year. Last year in his class, there were 2 boys that always picked on DS. I felt bad for him last year, but I guess it wasn't so bad that DS didn't stop trying to play with them (even though I tried to tell him that he shouldn't want to be friends with kids that are mean to him).

This year, one boy is in his class and the one that seems to be the meaner kid is in another class, but they all have recess at the same time. DS isnt trying to be friends with the boys this year (thankfully found other kids he likes!), and I thought everything was ok until we got an incident report from DS' teacher yesterday. Seems they're back to picking on DS even though this year he doesn't want to play with them and tries to avoid them. (The incident was that DS was playing and the other boys ran over and hit him twice in the upper butt area.) DS said the boy in his class got in trouble at home.

My question is... what would you do if those 2 continue to harass DS? In class, the teacher can easily watch and separate (although it doesn't seem like DS has issues with the boy when he's not with the meaner kid). I just have no idea how they can watch DS at recess when there are 60+ kids on the playground. I tell DS to tell them to stop or to play somewhere else, but he can't do anything if they follow him and harass him.

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

I would have a meeting with the teacher and tell the teacher that this is ongoing from last year. I would also speak to my child about telling an adult at school when someone is bothering them or touching them. I would make sure it is on record with the school and the school does have specific steps they need to follow during bullying incidents. Bullying starts so young and unless children are taught at a young age it will just continue.

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It stinks! Like PP said... I think you need to make the teachers and counselors aware that this is not just a one time incident and has been going on since last year. They need to have a discussion in class about not picking on other kids.

At that age the kids are still so young. As much as we want our kids to toughen up and stick up for themselves they are still impressionable and need to learn what's right and wrong.
I hope they learn their lesson.
My DS is the same age. He's small for his age and pretty passive. He has a lot of friends and for the most part has been ok, but I do fear bullying or him getting picked on. He's sensitive. I do teach him to ignore the mean kids, but he's not a tough kid. Not sure if he ever will be. I see on this site about how we need to teach the kids to stand up for themselves, but there are just some kids who aren't that tough so we also need to tell them when it's time to get an adult to step in.
Hopefully it'll get taken care of.

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

This makes me so angry. My DS is the same age and was pushed down & punched in the nose by a known bully the 2nd week of school. I could go into the entire ordeal and how disgusted I am with the school but needless to say I FINALLY got an e-mail yesterday from the principal saying it was handled by her incorrectly.

It is completely unacceptable for this to be happening to your son. I would speak to the teacher and the principal about this in a sit down meeting. If the school's social worker needs to be brought in she should too.

I'm so over all the unity about bullying, but school are not doing anything about it.

How would you handle bullying situation?

i'm probably in the minority...but i've taught DS to hit back. He's the same age. He's been taking Krav Maga (Israeli Defense Fighting) for the past year and knows how to defend himself. He had a boy picking on him, mocking him and hitting him. he tried ignoring and telling the teacher. they would keep them separated but then at recess there would be a problem. last week the boy hit DS and DS FINALLY hit him back! i was so proud of him! the kid was shocked and scared and ran and told a teacher. DS was sent to the principals office and got a phone call home. I told the principal I'm proud of my son for standing up for himself and he needs to deal with the other kid's behavior. off the record...his teacher agreed with me and was actually proud of him. since then...the kid hasn't hit anyone! sometimes these kids just need to see that the "victim" is not scared. my DS knows he is NEVER allowed to hit first! he must try to defuse the situation but if he cant...he can hit to defend himself.

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

Message edited 10/22/2015 9:09:46 PM.

Re: How would you handle bullying situation?

We're going through something similar with my DD who is in 4th grade. (A recess incident as well, but ours involves a teacher's assistant who I don't think handled the incident fairly and caused even more bullying for my DD.) I won't get into the whole story, but I will tell you that my DH and I are meeting with her teachers on Monday to discuss this. We want it on record and we want them to be proactive. Normally I'm pretty passive and try not to blow things out proportion, but having been bullied myself, we're nipping this in the bud.

And I've told my DD, and my other DC, people don't belong touching them. It's one thing to joke around, but if she thinks someone is getting physical to be mean, she's to tell them to knock it off and notify a teacher. If they don't knock it off, I've told her to drop kick their head. When she asked "What if I get suspended?" I told her not to sweat it. I was bullied for years from jr high to hs (verbally and physically) and I never stood up for myself despite my size. My father finally told me to catch each of the bullies alone and tell them I was going to kick the sh*t out of them if they didn't knock it off. He told me he didn't think I would have to follow through with the threat. He was right. They never bothered me again.

Message edited 10/22/2015 10:44:44 PM.