How would you handle this (sorry long)

My SIL is having her second child in May. Her EDD is 2 days before Ellie's 1st bday. I'm already feeling bad that this means my ILs will not be here for Ellie's bday. DH's family lives in OH and we live in NY. But I'm getting used to the idea. Even though it's her second some of her work colleagues have decided to have a shower for her. My MIL and other SIL surprised me at my shower and I was really touched that they traveled for it. I'm not that close with this SIL but try. I love my MIL. I'm very lucky to have a totally different situation from a lot of the rest of you. She's very helpful with Ellie (stays up with her overnight while she's visiting, babysits, etc) and yet very respectful of our boundaries, non-intrusive. Anyway, just this week MIL told me about this shower and I thought it seemed like the right thing to do to go to OH for the weekend and surpise SIL so I told MIL I'm coming. She was very excited but immediately asked about bringing Ellie. I wasn't planning on it for a weekend trip. I'm a little nervous to try and travel with her by myself. And DH got really excited to have a Daddy daughter weekend with her on his own. He loves to have one on one time with her and doesn't get much of it. Then I emailed my other SIL about coming and to see what this SIL needs for baby#2 and she also was really dissapointed that Ellie and DH aren't coming. We had a really long conversation last night about him coming so we can bring Ellie out. But really didn't get anywhere. My ticket was nice and cheap around $100 dollars and in one day the trip has gone up to almost $200 for a ticket for him. I'm feeling guilty about not bringing her b/c they can't see her often and they really miss her. Would you go by yourself? Bring the baby with you and leave DH home? All three go for a weekend even though it's $300 to travel. I didn't mention but money is very tight so I'm sort of regretting having bought the ticket at all but I already did. As I said I'm not that close with this SIL but I wanted to reciprocate b/c of what they did for me and the other SIL will not be having kids and obviously MIL is done with that so. DH is annoyed b/c he also isn't close with this sister and she didn't come for my shower or to see the baby yet so he feels like why are we wasting all this energy and money on her. But we both agreed that we don't want to be those kind of people and be petty.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

I would go by myself if money was tight.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

I have had similar situations where there was an opportunity to travel with DD or for me to stay behind and let DH go to his family events. Even though I wasn't really interested in going and knew it was going to be hard, I went because it was the right thing to do for both DD and his family. So, in this situation, I would go with DD and DH.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Have you explained to his parents that money is the issue? If so, they might help cover the cost of his plane ticket. I think he should try to go for his parents sake.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

I think it is nice of you to go. I would probably bring the baby since she can fly free and it seems that DHs family doesnt get to see her very often. As for Dh, it is really his call on if it is worth the extra $$ to go.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Since you have a good relationship w/ MIL and they don't live here I would either take Elle with me alone or have all of us go. I think it's nice that MIL wants to see Elle so bad. If you really can't spend the $$ for DH to go just take her alone.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

All 3 of us would go out of respect to my MIL.
I would much rather have us visit them, than them visit us. This way they can get their baby/brother/son fix and you get to party. Everyones a winner
I have traveled with an infant alone..and that was to Europe. Next week I'll be taking a 13 week old to Florida alone.. I forsee no problems.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Scott and Molly would probably come with me, although if money was VERY tight then I would probably save my ticket and go when we could all go together. I agree about not being petty. She is still his sister so it is the right thing to do.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

I would either go with DH or just you and the baby and leave DH at home. I wuold do it out of respect to my MIL, especially if she is so good to you.

In fact, I just did that. I went to see my mom in Florida with DD. My sister brought her daughter and it was just a girls weekend. But I knew it was important for my mom to see DD and it would have been too crowded with DH.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

I would go with DD & DH.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

If your husband really doesn't want to go then I would say let him stay home.
But, I would bring the baby.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Everyone loves to see babies, I would take the baby.

It will make you miss her even more (and make you feel bad, not that you should) when you have to here a zillion people say
YOU DIDNT BRING THE BABY ????????????

Bring her and look at the positive side, that so many poeple want to see her and spend time with her.

and youre not being petty at all, youre def being very respectful and doing whats right

Message edited 3/20/2007 1:24:33 PM.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Thanks everybody for your feedback. We're going to go all three of us and I feel much better about that so I think it's the right decision.

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Re: How would you handle this (sorry long)

Posted by wowcoulditbe

Posted by cloddy

Thanks everybody for your feedback. We're going to go all three of us and I feel much better about that so I think it's the right decision.

sounds like a great plan....if you didn't buy the ticket yet, can you wait and see if the price drops again???