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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
My husband has been playing games nonstop since 11 am today. He's still at it now, even after I'm done with cooking dinner.
He's hopeless, he has a habit of playing 10+ hours per day during the weekends and several hours at night when he doesn't have to work late.
I really don't know what to do about his addiction. What's a girl to do?
I've told him countless times that he needs to restrict his gaming to 10 hours per week max. Sometimes I've given him silent treatments after one of his 10 hour bouts of gaming.... It doesn't seem to help at all.
What would you do?
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Posted 11/4/07 8:19 PM  |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
 yikes! that really sucks, there's just no other way to say it.
I understand that everyone relaxes in their own way. DH watches MANY hours of football every weekend, but he doesn't ignore me and we go out too.
It's time for a talk!
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:21 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
It's time for a talk!
I agree...definitely time for a talk. It isn't healthy for a relationship to play for that amount of time...
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:24 PM |
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
ANYTHING in extreme is bad - whether its shopping, gaming, or being online (except for here of course!)
He may actually need an intervention!
I'm so sorry you are going thru this! 
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:26 PM |
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
he's not doing an online game like world of warcraft, hopefully.... those online games have sucked so many people from reality....
DH plays games to destress all the time (usually while I'm on LIF  ).... but I always manage to reel him back into the real world if it gets out of hand. He's told me that the only reason he's not a shut-in is becuase he refuses to play online games...
if it's an online game, cut his subscription! anything else, try to get him out of the house with you... go to a park, out to dinner, something where the computer isn't near by  he'll click back into reality soon enough
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:26 PM |
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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
I have talked to him... all he says is that he's worse before he met me and he's tried to change. :(
And honestly, he was probably worse but I really can't fathom him being a fathor to my child if he's going to spend a significant amount of his time not working playing games!
It is a main reason that he's nearing 37 and still doesn't want a baby. Although he has repeatedly denied that. :(
I'm at my wits end!
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:28 PM |
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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Posted by marriedinportjeff
he's not doing an online game like world of warcraft, hopefully.... those online games have sucked so many people from reality....
DH plays games to destress all the time (usually while I'm on LIF ).... but I always manage to reel him back into the real world if it gets out of hand. He's told me that the only reason he's not a shut-in is becuase he refuses to play online games...
if it's an online game, cut his subscription! anything else, try to get him out of the house with you... go to a park, out to dinner, something where the computer isn't near by he'll click back into reality soon enough
I tried, we went to a broadway show yesterday and then dinner with a friend afterwards... He would be playing games if he we didn't go out yesterday. Today he's making up for the time he wasnt playing games.
I'm near tears as I type this 'cus he's playing ONLINE right now talking to his online buddies and doesnt even want to come out for dinner although he knows I was cooking 2 hours ago!!!
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:30 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
   
My hubby is a HUGE "big baby" and would also be 24-7, games, gambling, hobbies, you name it, but kids have "gotten in the way"  and he's had to totally change his ways from day one.
I cant even imagine if he played that many hours, even before kids.
Does he realize it's completely overboard and NOT acceptable?
Maybe let his laundry pile up and let his stomach growl, that should let him get the hint. 
My hubby played a couple of hours here and there when we were dating and we didnt live together, so it didnt bother me (but I often told him to grow up )
LEts face it a man that plays games will NOT grow up, and you WILL love and appreciate the big kid that your hubby is when you have kids one day. (I wouldnt trade my "big baby" hubby for any dad on earth)
but now that there are other responsibilities in the house and his wife would like to spend some time with him, he REALLY needs to cut back.
Have a good long talk with him and lay some rules out.
Keep us posted
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| Posted 11/4/07 8:45 PM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Posted by lipglossjunky73
ANYTHING in extreme is bad - whether its shopping, gaming, or being online (except for here of course!)
He may actually need an intervention!
I'm so sorry you are going thru this!
I actually saw on that show "Intervention" an intervention on someone who was addicted to gaming!
I feel bad for you - I don't even know how I would begin to handle that.
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| Posted 11/4/07 9:58 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
My DH loves video games and we have every system, plus his on-line addiction. His nickname at home is actually "Big Baby". As much as he likes his video games, he know when he has been playing too long, and always gets off when I ask him to. Your DH sounds like he definitely has a addiction. What he is doing is not healthy. Maybe you guys should go to couple counseling. Then at least you can tell him how you really feel, and he will listen with out the distraction of a TV or computer in his sight.
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| Posted 11/4/07 10:49 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Call Cablevision and ask them to disconnect your internet for 24 hrs.
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| Posted 11/5/07 11:03 AM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
my husaband used to be addicted to xbox he would play every chance he got. Not until we had a child and a house did he stop.Now he only plays a game here and there. It took alot of B1tching and moaning from me as well. But when we had our son that basically did it for him, our son is attached to him and wants to know where he is 24/7 so out went his free time.
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| Posted 11/5/07 11:10 AM |
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Ginger123
Sooo happy
Member since 8/07 1235 total posts
Name:
dana
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
my dh is the same way and he tells me its his way to relax.. i find it so annoying but he still helps around the hou eso i cant complain
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| Posted 11/5/07 11:54 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
You definitely need to lay it on the line. It's one thing to have an outlet for stress, hobby, etc. It's another when it is cutting into your personal life. The fact that he's 37 and not ready to start a family would be giving me some serious red flags about his maturity, etc.
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| Posted 11/5/07 12:05 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Time for a serious talk.
He needs to change.
That's unacceptable.
I would also start getting up and going out without him while he's on these ridiculous gaming binges. I would stop cooking for him or at least don't wait for him to eat. Let his food sit out and get cold. He has to realize that he's missing out on REAL LIFE.
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| Posted 11/5/07 12:06 PM |
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Posted by kimchee
Posted by marriedinportjeff
he's not doing an online game like world of warcraft, hopefully.... those online games have sucked so many people from reality....
DH plays games to destress all the time (usually while I'm on LIF ).... but I always manage to reel him back into the real world if it gets out of hand. He's told me that the only reason he's not a shut-in is becuase he refuses to play online games...
if it's an online game, cut his subscription! anything else, try to get him out of the house with you... go to a park, out to dinner, something where the computer isn't near by he'll click back into reality soon enough
I tried, we went to a broadway show yesterday and then dinner with a friend afterwards... He would be playing games if he we didn't go out yesterday. Today he's making up for the time he wasnt playing games.
I'm near tears as I type this 'cus he's playing ONLINE right now talking to his online buddies and doesnt even want to come out for dinner although he knows I was cooking 2 hours ago!!!
if this is the case, hide all the modems (at a friends house or your office at work, if need be).... when he realizes what you did (probably the moment he comes home), tell him why you did it (that it's affecting your relationship and his life has lost its balance). If he gets really angry (yelling), it's a true sign of addiction, and he need help.... I'd disconnect cable altogether.
that is bad.... the online games are as bad as gambling.... 
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| Posted 11/5/07 1:12 PM |
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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
I want to thank everyone who responded with their concern and advice.
Hubby and I had a conversation yesterday after he came out of his game room after 10 hours of straight playing.
I gave him the silent treatment for an hour before he tried to rationalize his gaming with this line: 'well we didn't have plans anyway'
To which I explained it's not about plans but about spending quality time together as a couple.
Thanks again, I think hubby will behave for the time being.
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| Posted 11/5/07 9:01 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
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| Posted 11/5/07 9:08 PM |
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bluegreen08
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/07 574 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
FH is playing on his PS3 right now and has been for a while now. I bought him the darn thing as an engagment gift! 
I try not to bug him about it too much -- this is his first year working full time after finishing grad school, so it's not like he's supposed to be doing HW or anything. He can spend his free time how he likes. I'm the one still in law school so I should be doing HW and not sitting online 
I feel your pain with the long gaming sessions though. Maybe have a talk with him? If he thinks he doesnt have a problem, propose a 2 day, 5 day or week long "break" and see how he can handle it. I must admit I am addicted to my computer/the internet and when internet goes down even for a few hours I go batty.
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| Posted 11/5/07 9:16 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Hubby Has A Serious Problem, I Need Some Advice
Thanks for posting this! I was considering getting my dh a gaming system for Christmas.
This has DEFINITELY convinced me not to.
Good luck with dh's gaming addiction!
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| Posted 11/5/07 10:00 PM |
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