I have a sensitive question

when something is wrong in your pregnancy how does the dr tell you and your DH???
My daughters stepmom was pregnant and the baby didnt have a heartbeat and she was supposed to be 7/8 weeks but she measured 5 weeks.....I just cant imagine how the Dr starts off telling you that.

does the dr walk out of the room and then walk back in or do they just start saying something is wrong??

I ask this because my daughters stepmom is pregnant again and she is terrified that the dr (its a new one) is gonna tell her smething is wrong and she wants to know if they all go by a script like her last dr

Re: I have a sensitive question

I found out when the tech did the ultrasound and couldn't find a heartbeat. She tried to be optimistic but I knew then. I was officially told at my next visit once it was confirmed and the doc was a Be-yoch- She just came in the room and said, so I guess you figured out this fetus is not viable.

So I think it really depends on the doctor. I was so scared of this too-so scared that my NEW doctor did my ultrasound before the consult so make me feel better.

Re: I have a sensitive question

CKGM.......that Dr sounds like a real a$$hole

well my daughters stepmom will find out July 10th if everything is ok with this pregnancy........technically NOBODY knows except her mom and her DH(oh and me)

Re: I have a sensitive question

I was told over the phone that I miscarried, because my doctor had just received my blood results. Even though it was informal, he was very nice and sympathetic about it. He ****** me off though by asking later on what I was going to do about birth control. "Umm....I'm TRYING to get pregnant." I don't like people when people think that just because I'm young, my pregnancies are huge accidents.

Re: I have a sensitive question

wow all these DRs sound likes really A-holes!!

Re: I have a sensitive question

when I went in for my ultrasound after being released from my RE, the tech was taking a long time and had a very sad look on her face, and then looked at me and said Im sorry, I cant find a fetal hertbeat, even though there was one there a week prior. My heart dropped

Re: I have a sensitive question

For the friends I know that had issues early on, there was no heartbeat at 6 weeks. The doctors told them the they could've miscalcuated the conception. They went back for an 8 or 9 week sonogram & were told immediately after the appt that there was no growth. They would miscarry within a few days to weeks or they could opt for a D&C.

For my SIL, she was sent back repeatedly for a second level sonogram because (she was told) they couldn't get a good picture of the heart. Then she was told by a tech that the baby looked like it had an abnormality. Later the doctor looked at the results. Called her in for an appt & explained the situation.

Re: I have a sensitive question

The sono tech was a total b**** as I was getting on the table (telling me "hurry up, I'm way behind schedule) after not finding a heartbeat with the doppler.
Then after seeing there really was no heartbeat, her attitude totally changed and she was very comforting.
The Drs. were all great.

Re: I have a sensitive question

Doctors do not have a script, everyone is different. It partly depends on how the doc deals with the bad news.

My dad had a doc that kept his hopes up even though he had terminal cancer. I basically had to deliver the news and no one believed me. We called a "family meeting" demanding he tell the truth.

I've seen docs do it the opposite way. Just say how it is, no emotion and leave. I've seen others cry with the family.

This isn't something someone can be taught in medical school...it's a part of "the art of doctoring."

Re: I have a sensitive question

I wa sseeing an RE so each time when he took a little longer with the u/s and I saw his brow furrow...I just knew and I would say it to him.

Re: I have a sensitive question

I think each doctor has their own bedside manner. I don't think it's a set script.

Re: I have a sensitive question

it must be really difficult to tell a woman that she isnt going to have the baby.....makes me so sad to think about how often it happens

Re: I have a sensitive question

I knew something was up... at 6 weeks we had heartbeat but at the 9 week sono, the dr. was taking a while and was not saying anything. He told me he can't find a heartbeat, the baby is measuring 7.5 weeks. He had me get dressed and go to his office to discuss in detail.

Re: I have a sensitive question

I originall was PG with twins and at our 10wk checkup the DR did a sono and basically told us that one stopped growing, no more heartbeat, etc. She said it very kindly. Fortunately for us the other twin was a fighter and 9 mos later i gave birth a healthy little girl.

It is never easy to give that news to anyone.