I just don't understand people!!

This saddens me sooo much. I work with autistic children. One of my boys has made tremendous progress over the past two years. Actually it is AMAZING progress, from what he was, a non verbal, unable to walk, very sick as a baby (near death), unable to even make sounds...and we now have him completely verbal, able to walk, run, hop, climb, make tons of sounds..he is basically a regualr little boy now, except for social delays and a couple other issues. Well, today I was talking to the principal of his school, and he was telling me he was talking to the father of this little boy on Friday, he said the father FINALLY after two months of school told him his child was autistic (they all kinda knew, it was obvious) well, the father then goes on to tell the principal that his son is going to stop progressing soon, there is no hope for his future. My mouth dropped when the principal told me this...I can not believe a person would just basically totally write their child off for any possible future. As I said, this kid has made tremendous progress over a mere two years, he is only 5, has his whole life ahead of him and continues daily to make great progress. I just can not believe, this totally uneducated man (yes the dad has no clue about his sons disability, he is not around too much) could say this about his child with all the progress he has made and continues to make in such a short period of time. Who says this?? I know people that have children in comas, who doctors have written off of no hope, yet the parents conitnue to hope and strive to give them some quality of life. I feel sooo bad for this kid. He is VERY smart and he will conitnue to progress, there is no roadblock in the way of his progression, except his parents. These parents are still sadly in denial of their sons disabilty and instead of educating themselves and reinforcing things his therapists do with him, they just basically give up. It kills me that once our services are cut by the board of ed, this child will have no one but his parents, who will probably do everything for him til he is 90, instead of sticking with his therapy and forcing him to do things himself, which he can do. He is very self sufficient in school, yet he goes home and they just kill any progress by babying him. I feel so bad, if it weren't for his parents lack of support, this kid would be even further along than he his. I hinted to the principal to recommend some parent counseling to them, they truly need it or else I fear for that kids future!! Argh, sorry so long, I had to get this out. It is just so sad how they forsee their sons future!!

Re: I just don't understand people!!

That is so sda, I wish some people wouldn't even become parents if they aren't willing to embrace their children in any way, shape or form.

I know it must be tremendously difficult, but that is your child!!!

Re: I just don't understand people!!

I can't imagine being a parent of an autistic child so i try to withhold judgement

But i think i am confused as to what happened

The father was just told his child had Autism?

The father told the principal?

Isn't this a school for this kinda of diagnosis?

I can't help but be skeptical of how far a child will progress...the pathways are just SOOOO diverse in spectrum...So i would be careful in my expectations as well ...

Re: I just don't understand people!!

That is sad. The parents really need to be educated on the possible outcomes for their child. As Red said, there is quite a range, but from what you said, this child has many, many strengths and will do very well with consistent therapy and follow-through at home.

Re: I just don't understand people!!

Re: I just don't understand people!!

It does sadden me. ARe you going to the autism walk this Sunday? Ill be there

Re: I just don't understand people!!

Posted by Redhead

I can't imagine being a parent of an autistic child so i try to withhold judgement
The problem with these people is that they just don't care that he is autistic..trust me, these are the only people I am judging of all my cases, all the other parents care, these don't. They honestly said they didn't want him in the past and made it very clear..and they meant this disability or not, they did not want a child.

But i think i am confused as to what happened

The father was just told his child had Autism? No, the father just told the principal the child has autism.

The father told the principal? Yup

Isn't this a school for this kinda of diagnosis? NO!! He is in a regular catholic school, receiving service at the school. So they had no info on my kid, only that he has a disability, but were not told what or severity etc.

I can't help but be skeptical of how far a child will progress...the pathways are just SOOOO diverse in spectrum...So i would be careful in my expectations as well ...I am not expecting miracles, but as a parent, wouldn't you have some kind of hope. The kid himself says I can do it myself, yet has his parents basically telling him he can't, and that is what bothers me. And I have high expectations for all my students, just in different realms, I know what they are capable of and to me it is sad that their own parents don't and will probably never see it!!!

Re: I just don't understand people!!

well ....like i said...i cannot even fathom being a parent of a Austistic child. I work with adults...and i have heard some things out of parents that would make anyone go

But i am not in their shoes...And i know most of those parents who said some odd things ....truly love their child...

So like i said...i try to reserve judgement...

But that is me..

I do find it odd that the father is coming out now and saying that his son is "autistic"....

weren't you all like....uh DUH?

And of course i would hope that if i had a disabled child that he would make as much of his life humanly possible..

BUT i guess i have seen the spectrum that it just makes me more reserved..I have even seen children make great strides as tots (meaning under 10) and then totally regress ...

But yes i would hope to stay positive...otherwise i wouldn't know what i would do
ETA...and in all honesty...this is one of my greatest fears

Message edited 10/16/2006 7:45:08 PM.

Re: I just don't understand people!!

IMO...working with the parents of disabled children can be JUST AS CHALLENGING as working with the person with the disability...

some times HARDER

Re: I just don't understand people!!

Posted by Redhead

IMO...working with the parents of disabled children can be JUST AS CHALLENGING as working with the person with the disability...

some times HARDER

Re: I just don't understand people!!

I do commend you for the work you do

KUDOS to you for being a part of making these childrens lives better

Re: I just don't understand people!!