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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
I feel better...had a good long cry and then pulled myself together...thanks everyone for the kind words and hugs...being a mom is never easy, heck being a grown can s*ck! dd is doing well this morning, she slept good, feels good and after I feed dd#2 and play with her a bit, i am off to see her! :)
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(this is a vent, just need to get it out of my system....I'm ok but it will just help to type it....i'll probably delete it later/tonight...sorry for typos, etc. - thanks to anyone who reads it)
there are no words right now...i know there are so many worse things we could be going through...heck, i see many of them as i walk down the hall to my dd's room right now..by the time i get there i am in tears seeing the other lil beans there...i know so many people here have had much tougher times and I am sorry, i shouldn't even complain, but i just need to get it out right now...
i am so torn right now...i wonder what i did wrong in some other life or something, or why we can't catch a break...my dh and my kids are sweet and good and i think i am pretty decent too...this just stinks right now (ok, thats the g rated version fo what i mean...)
i am mad, that we have not been able to fully enjoy dd#2 growing these past almost 7 months (I also thank god for her as she is amazing and such a good gril, as I do for dd#1); dh's friend died 10 days after birth, then my friend's brother, then all the bfing drama and stuff i went through (which still breaks my <3), then my cousin died, then we dealt with all the problems dh's aunt had during her double lung transplant (although she is still doiing ok..but has a long way to come...) - its not fair to her that I am distracted or stressed, and she's so little to have to deal with all of it...she is so sweet, so innocent and her older sister misses her more than anything and i know its mutual...
(pause to wipe tears, grrrrreeeeaattt...now i prob ruined my laptop by sobbing and getting tears on the key board...)
i hate that i can't sleep right now...that i feel guilty not being with my odler dd at night...and my younger dd during the day...how do you "choose" one over the other? why should i need to????
i wish i need shots several times a day, i wish i could take away dh's hurt, make it better...thats what i do, thats what mommy's do and i cannot....i just can't....and i wanr to more than anything in the world - ever....
i know i should be grateful and i am sorry i am not 100% right now...i know this will get easier, but i am tired, hungry, torn, lonely (my house is half empty right now and I practically cry looking at all dd's toys/things...but I know she'll be back using them soon...) and just an emotional mess...
ok, i am off to find tissues - b/c boy do I look "sexy" right now...lol..(trying to keep my sense of humor...), who knew you culd produce this much snot and not be sick? (eww!) and its time to pull mylsef together and not pity anything anyway...its silly...
if you got this far, thank you. I know what to do, I even know what everyone will say, but its always easier said than done....heck, i could reply myself too i guess....in a few hrs once younger dd wakes up and i put on my "adult" hat...it just really is not fun being an "adult" sometimes...
Message edited 1/7/2010 9:32:06 AM.
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Posted 1/7/10 8:28 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
vent away!
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:31 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:33 AM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
thanks...i cannot even believe i hit post...that i just aired this to everyone....oops 
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:35 AM |
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Lola
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1854 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:42 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
we are here to listen, you have alot on your plate
how can we help?
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:50 AM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
Feel free to vent at any time!
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:53 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:55 AM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
Posted by pinkandblue
we are here to listen, you have alot on your plate
how can we help?
i wish i knew...just hug all your kids tight and pray they will send her home soon...i am sitting here watching dd#2 sleep balling my eyes out still..but it helps, its better to get it out and i know dh and i will be able to have our sob fest and then move on soon....
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:56 AM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:57 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 8:58 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:29 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:32 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
I am so sorry for all of your pain.
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:33 AM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
I can't really even begin to imagine what you're going through/have gone through right now. I do know that you're doing the very best you can do and your DDs are very lucky because of it! And I also think your family is the better and the stronger because of it. But, girl, you definitely deserve to CRY!!
I've had some ups and downs during the past year and I know it's kind of nuts, but whenever something kind of crappy happens, I think of myself as putting the incident in my "Erin Book of Life." Like, "Yeah, that happened, but I survived it...YEAH!!" Look at all the experience you gained (albeit, not things you wanted or asked for)...but you'll be there for people going through similar things; you can offer advice or a shoulder to cry on--and as I said, I do think you're a better person because of it!
Again, I hope your DD is out soon and I'll be praying for your family!
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:42 AM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
I'm so sorry you are going thru this right now. we are all here for you!! Vent away!!!
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:49 AM |
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
Sometimes we just need a good vent!
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:50 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
We're all on this crazy rollercoaster of life together....
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| Posted 1/7/10 9:58 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 10:17 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
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| Posted 1/7/10 10:26 AM |
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mirla122
Hot! Hot! Hot!
Member since 1/06 1732 total posts
Name:
Mirla
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
glad you got that out.
feel better.
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| Posted 1/7/10 11:29 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
vent anytime
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| Posted 1/7/10 12:40 PM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
Oh D - i cried reading this....
you know i am here for you....
ANYTHING i can do....ANYTHING - you let me know!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/7/10 12:41 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just need to get this out...(long and rambling...)
We are here for you! Vent Away! Let it out!
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| Posted 1/7/10 12:56 PM |
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