i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

or is it just a matter of how much you can take?


*****
Well, I sorta chickened out.

DH was all for trying, but after seeing responses, etc., I thought *maybe* we should wait til 5 months. My Ped did say we should start in a couple of weeks (and this was last week).

Anyway, we decided that we'd let her cry for a little more. I usually want to swoop in and stop the crying asap because I thought that was what was best for her.

We set a limit of 10 mins, based on the cry. The torturous part of it is, I hear her cry and have to wake DH cause he sleeps through the whole damn thing. So, I lie awake in bed listening to her cry all by myself.

We put her down at 6 45. She always has gone down like a champ.

The first waking at 11 45-- didn't do much. DH still got up to give her a bottle after 10 mins or so of crying.

Then she woke at 3 30. I went in after 5 mins. She was out of her swaddle entirely, so I redid it and gave her a paci and left the room. She went back to sleep on her own.

At 4 20 she woke again and I went in after 5 mins. She seemed a bit more distressed and was again out of the swaddle. I gave her the paci, but didn't redo the swaddle and I just felt that leaving her wasn't going to cut it, so I nursed her and she went back to sleep.

She did sleep until 7 20 this morning, and she has been getting up at about 5 50/6 00 lately-- so she slept an hour+ later.

She is napping in her crib now-- I starting soothing an hour after she woke, and worked on her getting calm in the crib, going in every 3 mins or so to continue to sooth. I am hoping if we can get the naps down, then nighttime will be better and I only have to let her go for a few mins. I don't think I can handle 30 to 45 mins of crying.

ETA- Up until this point, I was sorta going with the flow, letting her dictate when she fell asleep, etc. After reading the HSHHB book, I think it's more about being proactive with the naps and really cutting them off before they go off the deep end. I was soothing at the deep end before-- or, if she was already in the swing, she'd just fall asleep on her own.

Message edited 6/12/2009 9:13:20 AM.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

I think its just a matter of how comfortable you are. You should set you own limit based on your own level of comfort.

Sorry, I didn’t realize how young your daughter was, I wouldn’t let her cio at all until she was at least six months

Message edited 6/12/2009 9:30:18 AM.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

you always bring up interesting topics that i am interested in as well!! anyhow, i agree with pp. it depends on your comfort level. my comfort level is 15-30 min.

its just a tough call. b/c if you are going to do CIO you have to do it consistently in order for it to work well. like the first cio might be 1 hour but on day 3 it willl be 15 min and then maybe 10.

i am prob making my poor dd crazy b.c i can be insconsistant. but it all depends on her cry. there is her regular cry and then there is her hysterical temper tantrum cry where she arches her back and screams- well, then i wont let her go on like that.
if she has a normal cry, i can tolerate 15 min no more than 30.

she has been having a bad habit of wakinup as soon as you put her down. my husband says that if you put her down, let her cio if she wakes up.. but easier said then done sometimes.
i find it easier to do this at night b.c i know she is really tired and wont cio longer then 15 min.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

wanted to add that a friend of mine ( she read a similar sleep book that you are reading, called good night sleep tight) well, she told me that there were times where the baby would cry at night for an hour maybe a little over and she and her husband had to hold eachother down from going in to pick up the baby...
they spent a few nights like that but now i must say that they have a very good routine down. the baby is much more predictable and follows a schedule.

to this day she might rock the baby to soothe him but once he is down, she does not pick him up. he'll cry for 15 min and then he is out.

it goes to show you that even though it is really hard to let your baby CIO, it does work in the end.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

How old is your DD?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

IMO, 4.5 months is too young for CIO. We did not start until 6, almost 7 months.

But if you do decide to do it, I would go check every 5-10 minutes only because she is so young. Instead of strict CIO, you go back in 5-10 minute intervals.


GL

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Is it a full moon? I feel like all of our babies are going through the same thing!

anyway, we tried CIO tonight with the Roo for 5 mins. Went in, put the binky in, and shusssshed him til he went out. I think I need to stop rocking him to sleep and just put him down groggy and CIO at 5-10 min intervals. The days of him going down and staying down are no longer - the kid is onto us.

Message edited 6/11/2009 11:20:02 PM.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

in my opinion, you know your kid. I can tell after 2 minutes if Max simply is not going to sleep. That is also why he did not sleep through the night alone until 13 months...

I should not be giving advice ever.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

I agree with some of the other posters that it's a bit early. We started at just about 6 months. DH and I came up with an amount of time that we were comfortable with - 45 minutes. Fortunately it never took him that long to fall asleep. I wouldn't do 45 though at 4.5 months. At that age my ped recommended not letting them go more than 15-20 minutes.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

I did check lingo first, but it wasn't there... what does CIO stand for?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

I'm not a big fan of CIO... But if I were ever to do it I don't think I would start until at LEAST 6 months... I'm pretty sure that is what Ferber and all the sleep specialists say. Babies have no methods of self soothing before 6 months of age.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

lol you're not annoying!

when my grandmother was visiting, she said that at 4 months she used to drop the night time feeding with all her kids. she advised me to do the same....she said they cry for one or two nights and then they stop waking up at night entirely...but the way she did it was old school...no comforting, no check ups, just all out war, LOL.

i dunno if i am going to take her word for it, but i am going to start sleep training my monster at 6 months (only because we will be traveling overseas and if i try to sleep train her before then, i'm afraid going away will mess up whatever i've taught her)

when allison has fought me to take a nap, i set a time limit of 15 minutes for her to cry it out...usually she passes out by then...why do babies fight sleep!? bah!

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Samantha is the same age (as you know!), I do let her cry, BUT I can tell the difference between an "I need you now" cry and a "I'm tired, but want to fight it" cry. The latter is a very whiney almost fake sounding cry. If I go in there while she is using that cry, she immediately stops when the door opens and has the biggest sh!it eating grin on her face. She mostly does this at nap time, so I let her cry for as long as it takes me to wash her bottle. Usually by that time she is passed out cold. I don't let her go past 10 minutes though before I go in and try to soothe her. At bedtime, she usually goes right to sleep.

She does know how to self soothe, I've watched her on the monitor, because she will wake up during a nap, but gets herself back to sleep (she sucks on her fist, or her arm, while rubbing the back of her head).

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio?

Message edited 6/12/2009 8:09:54 AM.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

updated in first post.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

It sounds to me like you need to get the Miracle Blanket and that she keeps breaking out of the swaddle, might be part of your problem.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

college.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

Posted by aliwnec10

It sounds to me like you need to get the Miracle Blanket and that she keeps breaking out of the swaddle, might be part of your problem.

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

Posted by randella

Posted by aliwnec10

It sounds to me like you need to get the Miracle Blanket and that she keeps breaking out of the swaddle, might be part of your problem.

she's already in the miracle blanket! And we get it real tight-- she's strong!

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

Re: i know i am annoying BUT how long is too long to let them cio? UPDATE

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by randella

Posted by aliwnec10

It sounds to me like you need to get the Miracle Blanket and that she keeps breaking out of the swaddle, might be part of your problem.

she's already in the miracle blanket! And we get it real tight-- she's strong!

wow! Have you tried to see how she does without it?