I need to vent

I'm finding myself getting depressed. I'm 40+2 and I'm in constant pain. Contractions started on day 40 but aren't going anywhere just pain every 2-3 minutes. Dh and mil are home and the only person I want to be around is my dd. I feel like a stranger in my skin and I feel like I've been displaced in my house.

Dh doesn't understand but I'm extremely hormonal and just started sobbing this morning. Dh goes back to work on the 12th and mil leaves the 11th and I can't wait and that sounds horrible. I told dh I didnt want mil here when the baby was born because I wanted to concentrate on just us and she's here anyway and there is no where to send her till she gets on the plane and goes home. She doesn't drive, can't leave dd with her because dd doesn't listen to her and she broke 1 of her hearing aids so she can barely here dd.

I feel like any bonding time I should be having with dd and dh is displaced because my mil is always here. Yesterday I was trying to bounce on my yoga ball and she was just staring at me. I kept turning on the ac in the house and they keep turning it off because it's not hot. Sorry I'm sweating my ass of.

Today I'm just hibernating in my bedroom and avoiding everyone and the ac is blasting. Tomorrow I get my induction date so at least it will be a goal. Dh and mil just left to go to target and dd and I are just hanging out. I think after my noon appt tomorrow I'll just pick up dd and go somewhere because I don't want to be home. Dh thinks I'm being selfish and rude and maybe I am but this is the only time in my life that I feel should be about my wants and needs. I'm the one birthing the baby and going through all this and I'm getting zero support. Now I'm crying. God damnit. My parents are deceased so it's not like I have anywhere to go plus I think I should be able to suffer and be uncomfortable in my own home.

Re: I need to vent

Hugs to you! Tomorrow after your appointment take your daughter for some ice cream and enjoy the time with just the two of you. I think being out of the house for a little will help with your sanity. Hope you have a smooth delivery!

Re: I need to vent

I totally feel for you. And you are totally allowed to be as selfish as want right now, and rude - though what you described sounds more normal than rude to me.

This is a time you really need your own space, to do things your way, without interruption. It sucks that things are less than ideal right now, but you will survive! And until it's over, you can cry, scream, isolate, and climate control as much as you want!!!

I need to vent

enjoy this time with your DD, this is the last time it will be just her, be kind to yourself. HUGS

Re: I need to vent