i rarely post here.... vent!!! UPDATE

today is my son's 14th birthday.
i love that kid more than the air i breathe. i get up in the morning and rush to work because of him. i run out of the office and rush home because of him. he knows i love him.

all i ask is that he do his schoolwork and help around the house (especially since it's now only the two of us).

why is it that his language arts teacher has called me three times this school year because he's not turning in his work?????!!!!!!!!! i feel like the huntington learning center commercial: i've grounded him, taken away his toys, punished him, rewarded him (for doing well), i've checked homework... i don't know what else to do.

he has a very slight learning disability, but it's starting to look like the disability's name is LAZY!!!!!

i don't know what to do anymore. i feel like a failure as a mother. why won't my kid do his schoolwork???!!!! what am i doing wrong? how have i know instilled a sense of duty when it comes to schoolwork?

i'm sitting at my desk crying. my heart is so broken. life is hard, the world is cruel: this kid needs to get an education. i don't know how else to help prepare him.

Message edited 2/6/2009 4:14:01 PM.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

I don't know the answer.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Having just cried at my desk over my son, I know exactly how you feel.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

ugh... maybe ask the teacher to be notified when/what homework is due so he can't lie and say there isn't any or do only 1/2 of it?

so sorry you're stressing

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Could he possibly be bored? Have you asked him how he feels? I remember getting in trouble fr not doing my work in school. I didn't feel challenged so I just didn't do it

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Could you and his teacher reach an arrangement where she has to sign off weekly if he has turned in all his assignments and that is how he earns his privilages for the weekend? Punishment rarely works but earning "rewards" usually does. When I say rewards, I mean ANYTHING other than basic food, clothing and shelter.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Not a parent yet but a HS teacher here. Honestly, I think he is acting like a teenager. Most teenagers miss homeworks. I would speak with the teacher about approximately how many HW assignments he/she assigns in a quarter. For example, if there are about 25 homeworks in a quarter and he misses 3 of them, that isn't that bad. But if he/she only assigns 10 then 3 is a lot more. Understand?

Also, I would ask the teacher or the guidance counselor if they do weekly progress reports at his school. At my school students can get weekly progress reports from the guidance office and have all their teachers complete the form on a Friday. This way you as the parent has feedback on upcoming assignments, homework, tests/quizzes and behavior. Many parents find this a great means of communication between parents and teachers.

I hope this helps. Good luck and feel free to FM me if I could be of any more help.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Im a member of that club. Very aggravating. We don't ask much, but schoolwork is one of them. We ground him, take things away, doesn't work. It's his nature unfortunately.

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

thanks everyone.

i came home and laid down the law: fly right or you start getting an azz beating (of course it's an empty threat... but i convinced even myself )

i'm going to look into that weekly progress report. it seems that the problem is only with this one class, but i'm going to look into it for all his classes.

right now, he's studying for his spelling test, tomorrow.

my original plan for his birthday was to go out for dinner, i'll be stepping out in a bit to get wendy's... a compromise.

again, thanks

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

In my experience as a guidance counselor, I have found that small daily rewards work better for kids than earning a weekend privilege. The weekend thing requires a child to make no mistakes in the course of a week...something most adults cannot accomplish. They mess up on Tuesday and give up as the rest of the week becomes a wash.

Small daily rewards gives him an opportunity to do the right thing every day and have a fresh start. What does he like? video games, computer time on facebook etc. Pick one....if he does all his homework and gets a good report from his teacher, he earns an hour of TV or 1/2 of video games etc. whatever will motivate him.

another suggestion....if he has a computer or phone in his room....move it to a common living area so you can supervise his use. I can't tell you how many kids stay up until ALL hours texting and IMing each other....it's nuts

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

again, thank you.

after my talk with him, i started to think about where I have been dropping the ball.

his game systems will be moved to the living room, this weekend. i'll also be contacting the teacher to have her send me quick notes on how he's doing on a weekly basis...

this is his "resource" teacher. she's been around when he's in other classes. she has gone on and on about how smart he is and how, in science, he's been the ONLY kid to answer some really tough abstract questions.

for the most part, it's been really easy to parent this child... i guess i got complacent.

again, thanks

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!!

UPDATE:

the son of a gun just text me that he got an A on his spelling test!

he's going to drive me to drink

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!! UPDATE

Ok he is either palying some type of teenager game or he is just lazy when it comes to school (typical teenager ie - see my stepkids) Either way congrats on the spelling test and I say anyhow!

Re: i rarely post here.... vent!!! UPDATE

I'm sure what you're doing will work! The A is really good news... If somethins will drive you to drink, I hope it will be a lot of A's!

If he's still managing to avoid homeworks even after all of this, I bet someone in the HS might have some tips... maybe a teacher or guidance counselor?