| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
|
I really need to be nice. Vent.
I am being really, really mean to JT today because I am mad at him that he is going to Chicago tomorrow. He spent money that we really do NOT have with a baby on the way just to fly to Chicago for the day to see a stupid baseball game. This goes back a few weeks because he spent the money to do this for himself when I had been asking him for weeks to go away with me for a weekend before the baby comes, and he kept claiming he didn't want to spend the money. Then, after he booked this trip, he said, "Well, I promise I'll book a trip for us over you spring break." Well, my spring break came and went and his excuse was, "I couldn't think of anything to do."  I just feel so angry with him for going. Yet, I feel bad for being angry because I don't ever like to stand in the way of him doing what he wants, and he has never done anything like this before and I just assume he needs to do somethign for himself before the baby comes. But what about me? I mean, I keep thinking, ok, why is it that he sees nothing wrong with a pointless trip while his wife is 8 months pregnant? I guess I am just being a baby, but I just feel so angry with him right now, and the more I talk to him about it, the angrier I get. I hate feeling that way, but I just feel like, what the hell? If I went out and spent the amount of money he is spending on myself, he would have a heart attack. An absolute coronary. And what also really upsets me is that he did, however, work overtime to pay for this trip, but hello, how about working some overtime so WE can go away or so OUR FAMILY will have extra money in the bank? It took until HE wanted something for him to really get his @ss in gear and work the overtime that they're constantly begging him to do. I'm sorry. I just needed to vent. I know I'm doing that a lot lately, but I just feel like I have all this negativity built up inside me and I hate that feeling
|
Posted 4/25/06 7:30 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 7:32 PM |
| |
|
Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I would say to him.. "I hope you enjoyed yourself because that was your birthday and Christmas present for the next ____ years" Seriously, that's it.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 7:35 PM |
| |
|
ssbride05
:-)
Member since 5/05 2654 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I would say to him.. "I hope you enjoyed yourself because that was your birthday and Christmas present for the next ____ years" Seriously, that's it.
very well said!
I am sorry... I am sure you guys will work things out!
|
| Posted 4/25/06 7:38 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
can i ask a question and this isn't to be rude??
does JT ever do anything RIGHT?  
sorry, just seems you get annoyed at him quite a bit
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:01 PM |
| |
|
btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
actually Rachel...I don't think you need to be nice. MAYBE if he had planned a trip with you, you should change your tune now, but the fact that he made you a promise, and didn't keep it is an issue.
And as much as he wanted to go to Chicago....he should have had the sense to say, No I can't...I have a baby on the way. The sacrifices and compromises need to start NOW and they need to come from HIM, not you reminded him.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:47 PM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I would say to him.. "I hope you enjoyed yourself because that was your birthday and Christmas present for the next ____ years" Seriously, that's it.
I agree.
I don't think you should feel bad about being angry. You have every right to be hurt and angry. And did he book the trip w/o asking you first? if so, that would be even worse. He's acting VERY selfish, which is not the right way to act when you have a wife and a baby on the way. Hopefully though he's just getting it out of his system. Like a bachelor party before the baby arrives.
but it could also be an indicator of a lifetime of selfish behavior. He could and should ahve spent the money on a trip for the two fo you together, not for HIMSELF, and then breaking his promise to you
Honestly, you're a better wife than I, because I would NOT have let him go. I would have torn up the ticket
Message edited 4/25/2006 8:49:45 PM.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:47 PM |
| |
|
05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Im soooo sorry!
Don- Its very hard to see the good in DH when your preggo and emotional....
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:49 PM |
| |
|
BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
can i ask a question and this isn't to be rude??
does JT ever do anything RIGHT?
sorry, just seems you get annoyed at him quite a bit
Lately, yes, I do. I think it's because lately he DOESN'T do anything right! No, honestly, I think I am just hormonal and prego. I'm not proud of it
ETA: He is NOT a selfish person, so I know I shouldn't be so mad at him. It's really hard when you know you shoulsn't be upset, but you just can't help it. I feel all off kilter these days
Message edited 4/25/2006 8:54:31 PM.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:52 PM |
| |
|
evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I'm sorry, I'd be really upset too. Sometimes men just don't freakin get it! I'd be sure to tell him after the baby comes he will be spending a lovely weekend babysitting while you go away with the girls!
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:53 PM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by prncssrachel
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
can i ask a question and this isn't to be rude??
does JT ever do anything RIGHT?
sorry, just seems you get annoyed at him quite a bit
Lately, yes, I do. I think it's because lately he DOESN'T do anything right! No, honestly, I think I am just hormonal and prego. I'm not proud of it
Sometimes the guys just can't do anything right
but don't feel bad for being upset, nor for being hormonal.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:53 PM |
| |
|
Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Rachel, I have to say I would have reacted the same way.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:55 PM |
| |
|
PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
he loves you and he understands. I went through something some that with FH, and I am not even pregnant. But it is good that you acknowledge it. Don't beat yourself up about it! Just make it up to him 
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:55 PM |
| |
|
btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by THEINFAMOUSMRS.OTG
Rachel, I have to say I would have reacted the same way.
me too....Rich is going to NY to be the best man in a wedding this weekend and I'm home alone with the baby....for 4 days! It's VERY RARE that he gets the baby on HIS day off during the week.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:56 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I'm not sure this one can't be chalked up as being hormonal if other women would also be upset over it.
Rachel - sorry you're going through a hard time.
etd. spelling error
Message edited 4/26/2006 12:31:17 PM.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 8:58 PM |
| |
|
Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
My DH does this same type of crap all the time. I've come to the conclusion that men don't connect things- that's the only thing I can think of...
the make the trip but don't think, hmmmm maybe DW want's to go away....
Their brains just aren't built that way
|
| Posted 4/25/06 9:05 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I don't think your being hormonal at all- I think it's really selfish and kind of mean that he planned this trip for himself and even more so that he worked OT for himself, not for you or the family you're about to have.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 9:18 PM |
| |
|
JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 9:22 PM |
| |
|
Kelly04
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/05 841 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by nferrandi
I don't think your being hormonal at all- I think it's really selfish and kind of mean that he planned this trip for himself and even more so that he worked OT for himself, not for you or the family you're about to have.
I totally agree!! Im not preg...or ever have been....and if my DH did that I would be soooo mad!!! If it were me... I would tell DH he better clear is schedule to work a hell of a lot more overtime to send you to an all day spa for treatments and relaxation either before or after you have the baby. And point out how lucrative working OT was and that he should plan on doing it a lot more often to provide for your new baby.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 9:41 PM |
| |
|
Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by nferrandi
I don't think your being hormonal at all- I think it's really selfish and kind of mean that he planned this trip for himself and even more so that he worked OT for himself, not for you or the family you're about to have.
I agree with this too. My DH told me this weekend him and the guys are going to Myrtle Beach in June as a last hurrah (3 of us wives are preggo) - I'm like what about me? what about $$? We are buying a new house and closing in Junes and have lots of extra costs!!!! What does he do? He buys me a $300 Coach bag (same price as his ticket). Nice gesture, but point TOTALLY MISSED!
As Sassy said - they just don't get it!
|
| Posted 4/25/06 9:50 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
|
| Posted 4/25/06 10:16 PM |
| |
|
dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I am preggo and Rachel I agree with you.
However, I would just book a girls weekend with my friends and tell DH, "since I want some time to MYSELF before the baby comes too, I booked a weekend ______ with two of my friends. I would rather go with you but you wanted to go to Chicago, with out me, so I am going to __________ with __________ on ________". Just tell him what you are doing and let him deal with it, like he did to you.
Rachel, I would be pi$$ed. It is one story if you told him it was OK for him to go and then got pi$$ed when he went. It is another thing when he just booked it without asking how you felt about it. Then, once you told him you wanted to go away with him, he should have changed his plans, IMHO.
I am sorry you have to deal with this cr@p at 8 months preggo. My DH has been doing a bunch of stuff with his guy friends "before the baby comes" because he thinks he will not be able to do it after she is here. DH & I had a loooong talk about this a few weeks ago and I told him that he will still be able to hang with his friends and do all the fun guy things he has always done. I also told him that I will need a "girls night out" on occasion as well as "shopping with the girls" on an occasional Saturday. We agreed that we will both need "friend" and "me time" just to keep our sanity once the baby is here.
Maybe you can reassure him that he can do these guy things after the baby is here.
Message edited 4/26/2006 10:04:18 AM.
|
| Posted 4/26/06 10:02 AM |
| |
|
LAMGAJ28
.
Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
|
| Posted 4/26/06 10:06 AM |
| |
|
Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
I would be upset... I think you have every reason to be. This is the wrong time in his life to have one last "hurrah" before baby comes. This is exactly the time that the two of you should be spending quality time together before everything changes. DH joked about going down to Miami for business when I was 8 months pregnant, and staying for a few extra days. I nipped that in the bud, and instead, we took a babymoon to Las Vegas... I don't think you're being overly emotional at all, especially because he promised to make it up to you and never delivered. I understand he's probably a little freaked about having a baby, but SO ARE YOU. After all, you're the one who has to carry the baby for 9 months and experience all the difficult emotional and physical changes to your body, not to mention delivery!!! You deserve a trip more than anyone else in this scenario... seriously, if I were you, I'd say screw the money and I would go away with a few girlfriend's for a weekend. You certainly deserve it, and honestly, you'll need it... your life is about to change in so many ways and you'll look back and wish you had taken a little bit of time to relax for yourself beforehand...
|
| Posted 4/26/06 10:09 AM |
| |
|
dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
|
Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.
Posted by Bxgell2
I would be upset... I think you have every reason to be. This is the wrong time in his life to have one last "hurrah" before baby comes. This is exactly the time that the two of you should be spending quality time together before everything changes. DH joked about going down to Miami for business when I was 8 months pregnant, and staying for a few extra days. I nipped that in the bud, and instead, we took a babymoon to Las Vegas... I don't think you're being overly emotional at all, especially because he promised to make it up to you and never delivered. I understand he's probably a little freaked about having a baby, but SO ARE YOU. After all, you're the one who has to carry the baby for 9 months and experience all the difficult emotional and physical changes to your body, not to mention delivery!!! You deserve a trip more than anyone else in this scenario... seriously, if I were you, I'd say screw the money and I would go away with a few girlfriend's for a weekend. You certainly deserve it, and honestly, you'll need it... your life is about to change in so many ways and you'll look back and wish you had taken a little bit of time to relax for yourself beforehand...
Well Said! I could not agree more.
|
| Posted 4/26/06 10:11 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
