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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
She's driving us nuts with this. She's 3 years & 2 months old.
She TOTALLY knows when she has to go potty....she will wear underwear around the house ALL day, but will NOT sit on the potty....will demand a diaper so she can then immediately pee in it. Does NOT have accidents in the underwear, totally knows when she has to go and will tell us immediately.
She HAS peed on it in the past, maybe 3 times over the course of 6 months. We use an Elmo seat on our toilet...she does not want a little potty seat, insists she won't use it.
It is a TOTAL power control thing with her...she purposely does not want to go b/c she knows we really want her to go. We don't push her at all, but try to encourage/bribe/etc her. She comes up with random reasons why she doesn't want to sit on the potty: "don't want my belly to get wet"  "don't want to miss something", "scared of the potty"...but we know it's all an act.
She's starting school next week, I tell her they're going to help her learn to use the potty. She tells me "I do NOT want to use the potty there either". I tell her all her friends now use the potty, I say it all...she just does NOT care.
I am at a loss...what do I do?? She has a kidney condition and a history of UTIs so I do NOT want her holding it in...and she will not have an accident in her underwear, so there's no winning...can't deny her a diaper b/c I don't want her holding the pee in to risk an infection. 
This is SO frustrating. I've said it before & will say it again-- if I could pay someone to potty train her, I really would. So frustrating...she is too smart for us at this point
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Posted 9/1/10 3:27 PM  |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Do you give her a diaper when she asks for it?
Honestly, I don't believe in pushing, but I think I would get on her more at her age. If she asks for the diaper, I would put her on the potty.
Or, put the ball in her court - don't ask her when she has to go - just say, "you have to let me know when you're going to do potty so I can bring you to the toilet". If she has an accident, then so be it - maybe that's what she needs.
I think there is a difference b/t pushing b/t they're not ready and don't get it, and them getting it and fighting it.
ETA: Sorry, I read your post more thoroughly and see the answers to my questions. So if she asks for a diaper and you say, "I can't give you a diaper but I can help you on the potty" she fights it still?
Message edited 9/1/2010 3:45:36 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:44 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Potty Training is so hard, especially with strong willed children.
What have you tried bribing her with? Can you up the ante? We bought a bunch or toys and put them in a bag and told DD she could have a prize when she tinkles on the potty. She tried to earn a prize and failed a bunch of times the first couple days but did much better within a few days.
If that doesn't work, there is a doll that comes with it's own potty-Dr. Phil recommended it for his potty train in a day method. Maybe that would work? Even if she doesn't want to play withthe doll you could role play with it where you pretend the doll is going potty then you make a big deal about the fact that the doll went potty and then the doll gets to pick a prize for going on the potty.
When Claire wasn't getting the hang of potty=prize, I gave myself one of her prizes when I went and she was more interested after that.
I shouldn't be giving any advice, we've only been at this for 10 days. Sure, she is getting better but we have a long road ahead before she is trained
Also-I think a lot happens between 3 and 4. She will get there!
Message edited 9/1/2010 3:52:28 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:48 PM |
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Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
I had this same problem with DD except with doing #2. Also didn't want to push her and also she demanded a diaper, no accidents. I started to create rules to gain some control; 1st she had to put on her own diaper (I had pull ups in the closet right by the bathroom) then she had to go in the bathroom to do her business regardless of whether or not she was using the toilet and lastly she could not leave the bathroom until she was cleaned up, out of the diaper and back into her underwear. Once she got all 3 of these down pact I started having her sit on the potty for about a minute in order to "earn" her diaper. One day she was upstairs (where the diapers aren't easily accessible) and had to go, after some persuasion she relectunctly sat on the potty and went!
Message edited 9/1/2010 3:56:48 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:56 PM |
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SofiaBella
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/07 785 total posts
Name:
Vanessa
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
We also have a stubborn potty training 3 year 3 month old. But in the last couple of weeks its like something just clicked & she now goes pee on the potty only ( we still put a pull up on her for overnites).
We were having a really hard time. She would know she had to go & refuse to use the potty. Just hold it for hours. I went to Michaels & bought a bag of rainbow colored PomPoms (they look like cottom balls) & a small plastic cup with lid. Every time she goes pee she gets 1 pompom, poo she gets 2. Once the cup is full (about 30 pompoms) We go to the store & pick out a new toy. Also she gets stickers if her undies are dry. When I started this she really started coming around. I also stopped pushing the issue because she knew when she had to go & just wasn't. By backing off a little it seemed to give her the control she wanted to have. When she had any type of accident i just said calmly, its ok you can try again next time.
GOOD Luck & hang in there. She will get it.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:00 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
potty training is hard. We are on week two. Yesterday and the day before we had two poop accidents. Today he has not pooped. Yesterday was so frustrating because I knew he had to go and asked him. I turned around for a minute and he went in his pants. It was horrible. Since we had been in the potty less than 30 seconds before hand. I knew he knew he had to go. I took the potty prizes he earned away from him. I am giving them back one at a time. Each time he pees he is getting one of them back. I just don't know how to help him want to go. I also don't want to be upset with him. I am finding it so difficult.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:01 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Posted by SweetCaroline
Do you give her a diaper when she asks for it?
Honestly, I don't believe in pushing, but I think I would get on her more at her age. If she asks for the diaper, I would put her on the potty.
Or, put the ball in her court - don't ask her when she has to go - just say, "you have to let me know when you're going to do potty so I can bring you to the toilet". If she has an accident, then so be it - maybe that's what she needs.
I think there is a difference b/t pushing b/t they're not ready and don't get it, and them getting it and fighting it.
ETA: Sorry, I read your post more thoroughly and see the answers to my questions. So if she asks for a diaper and you say, "I can't give you a diaper but I can help you on the potty" she fights it still?
Oh yeah, it's a full-on meltdown, tears included if we tell her she's going on the potty instead of a diaper. She will literally scream & cry for an hour or more, still holding in the pee (after she's told me she has to pee and to put a diaper on her). She FULLY knows when she has to pee. And I know you're not supposed to push them, and if we DO put her on the potty by begging/bribing her, she will cry after sitting there for a few minutes, full on hysterics until we take her off...that makes me feel like we're forcing her when the full-on tears (albeit stage-tears) come on, you know?
Message edited 9/1/2010 4:12:58 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:11 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Posted by CrankyPants
Potty Training is so hard, especially with strong willed children.
What have you tried bribing her with? Can you up the ante? We bought a bunch or toys and put them in a bag and told DD she could have a prize when she tinkles on the potty. She tried to earn a prize and failed a bunch of times the first couple days but did much better within a few days.
If that doesn't work, there is a doll that comes with it's own potty-Dr. Phil recommended it for his potty train in a day method. Maybe that would work? Even if she doesn't want to play withthe doll you could role play with it where you pretend the doll is going potty then you make a big deal about the fact that the doll went potty and then the doll gets to pick a prize for going on the potty.
When Claire wasn't getting the hang of potty=prize, I gave myself one of her prizes when I went and she was more interested after that.
I shouldn't be giving any advice, we've only been at this for 10 days. Sure, she is getting better but we have a long road ahead before she is trained
Also-I think a lot happens between 3 and 4. She will get there!
We've tried food rewards and toy rewards. She doesn't like any sweets except cupcakes (just licks the frosting) and one type of cookie. The few times she HAS peed on the potty over the last 6 months, DH has RUN out to the store immediately and gotten her a cupcake or cookie, we give her a toy, etc. I buy her things (a nice big Curious George book, for example) that I know she will love and say that she can have it next time she pees on the potty....she wants the book but not enough to go potty. We even tell her we'll read it while she's on the potty...NOPE.
Diana1215 got her Tinkles the Doll for her b-day (love ya Diana  ), she plays with it, Tinkles pees...C is "sooo proud of her" as she says...I ask if she wants to sit on the potty like TInkles-- "NO"
She is so darn smart she outwits us. She 10000% knows when she has to go, knows how to sit on it, how to hold pee in, knows the whole drill. She's just holding this power over us b/c she knows we want her to go on the potty.
She wants to go on the big-kid part of the playground...we tell her that as soon as she stops wearing diapers she can. Every time we go to the park, she says "I can't go over there until I stop wearing diapers"...she's annoyed but not enough to go. If she comments on a toy while we're shopping, we tell her that if we can stop buying diapers for her we'll have more money to buy her more toys  , she understands but doesn't care.
Message edited 9/1/2010 4:18:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:18 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Posted by Disneygirl
I had this same problem with DD except with doing #2. Also didn't want to push her and also she demanded a diaper, no accidents. I started to create rules to gain some control; 1st she had to put on her own diaper (I had pull ups in the closet right by the bathroom) then she had to go in the bathroom to do her business regardless of whether or not she was using the toilet and lastly she could not leave the bathroom until she was cleaned up, out of the diaper and back into her underwear. Once she got all 3 of these down pact I started having her sit on the potty for about a minute in order to "earn" her diaper. One day she was upstairs (where the diapers aren't easily accessible) and had to go, after some persuasion she relectunctly sat on the potty and went!
Ohhh, these are great ideas-- thank you!!!
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:19 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Is her resistance connected to the new baby at all? Maybe she wants to stay in diapers like her sister?
Can you tell her you forgot to get diapers? I'm sure she's too smart for that one - but I'm trying to think of ways to outsmart a 3-yr which I know is nearly impossible
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:21 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
You are scaring me because I remember my DS had a lot of the same issues with eating table foods as your DD. He is approaching 3 and I haven't even tried training yet.
Good luck, and keep us posted if you find something that works, because I might have to refer to it in a few months.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:23 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Posted by SweetCaroline
Is her resistance connected to the new baby at all? Maybe she wants to stay in diapers like her sister?
Can you tell her you forgot to get diapers? I'm sure she's too smart for that one - but I'm trying to think of ways to outsmart a 3-yr which I know is nearly impossible
No, really don't think it has anything to do with the baby...she pulled the same antics months before baby came unfortunately.
We haven't tried that...I could picture that conversation and her telling me "well, go to the store and get more diapers" 
I'm still holding out hope that starting school will help her, seeing the other kids in/out of the bathroom you know? And they say they help work on potty training with them, so we'll see...can't hurt.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:23 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Posted by dpli
You are scaring me because I remember my DS had a lot of the same issues with eating table foods as your DD. He is approaching 3 and I haven't even tried training yet.
Good luck, and keep us posted if you find something that works, because I might have to refer to it in a few months.
Hoping you have better luck on this than us!
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:24 PM |
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LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
i'm sure school will help. maybe have another little girl friend help show and encourage her when school starts.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:27 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
I think she is just not ready then and you should just try again in a month or 2-she WILL get there, it's just as a 3 year old this is one of her only powers!
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:29 PM |
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
What kind of potty/potty seat are you using? We have BOTH the Baby bjorn potty and a potty ring for the big toilet....Occaisionally, DD wil get on the big potty, but 90% of the time, especially for #2, she is more comfortable on the little potty.I don't love cleaning it out, but it's better than diapers or poopy panties!!
At least for DD, she has to be comfortable...when we're out she'll go #1 on a big/public toilet, but she will not go #2 until we get home to the little potty....When she was resisting intially I asked why she didn't like the potty, she told me it scared her....so I stopped pushing the big potty and let her use the little seat.....
Maybe she's not comfortable on the potty/seat you have? What about taking her to BRU and letting her pick out her own potty / seat??
Lots of Luck!!
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
First
I think most kids don't go to college wearing a diaper.
Second - she will use the potty at school. She may think she won't but they are going to make it such a great thing that she'll want to do it.
They pair them with a potty trained kid & praise the heck out the kid. Then they encourage her to do it too.
They're experts in toddler manipulation. Trust me, she'll be potty trained soon enough.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:41 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
If it makes you feel any better, absolutely NO interest here either. And he'll tell me when he goes so I think he's just being stubborn 
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:25 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
Having lots of issues with Noah here too, after what seemed like a perfect transition, he simply refuses to go now on the potty
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:45 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: I think my DD is one of the only ones in our "kid group" on here not interested at all in potty training
It literally just clicked one day for DD.
I truly believe she just wasn't ready for it.
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:53 PM |
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