I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I've been thinking about the girl who died. She had everything to live for and I think she died just because she was doing something that she thought made her cool, then got in over her head. I wonder whether I can raise a child who is well adjusted, safe and happy. I think about whether it is possible for parents to control all of that. I am not sure what to say except that I have been thinking about my son's future a lot. How about you?

I have also been thinking about the sudden attention to the problem of heroine on Long Island. Sure, it is great that they are prosecuting drug distributors but the DA is doing it more for the headlines than for justice and I am not sure whether she (Nassau DA) is really going for the bigger distributors. She wants to make a lot of arrests but I hope they are the right arrests.

Mostly, I am just wondering how this affects some of your concerns, hopes and dreams for your children's' futures.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I totally hear what you are saying. I mean, i think the best thing we can do for any of our kids be in tune to them and their lives as they grow. I always felt since my mom was a high school teacher, she always had seen worse ( ) and that I could always go to her. I hope to do that for Christopher.

It is so hard with teenagers these days, my SILs are 17 and 14 and it is NOTHING like when I was that age! MK who is 14 is more like me when I was a sophmore in COLLEGE! But this leads me to something else you said in your post, whether or not you can control safety, well adjusted ness and happiness. My FIL died when DH was 19 and his sisters were 7 and 4. Kerry, who is now 17 (was 7) is probably the most affected by it. She has severe anger management issues steming from it and has battled anorexia for the past year as well. I think that we can do our best for our kids, but at the same time, we can't tell the future. Hopefully, something like this will never happen, but you never know.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I dk if Heroine is suddenly gotten attention...
I live In Bayport..they busted a huge ring years ago. Some kid was selling it from his grandmothers house across the street from the middle school!
from what we were told...its not that cheap...kids with cash tend to do it.
Years and years ago--a high up cop--dk what rank--think srg. daughter was sooooooo bad he could not stop it. They found her dead in NYC somewhere..
I dk if this answers anything u r looking for but just some thoughts..
My older 2 have to work hard for any money.I hope then they will watch where they spend it.
They will not get a mercedes for graduation, I will not be their friend but their mother.
I will be three steps ahead at alllllllllllll times...
I will snoop..jmho but its my house so everything in it is my property. I will not tell them I am snopping but I will/
I monitor the internet...
I monitor friends...
When u leaave u call me when u get there-during the day and when u leave.
If u fail to call---I come and get u from whereever you are and I have done it before.
I donot gofor the "you can try alcohol but at home....thats a load of crap"
they know...its against the law..its zero tolerance...I onlyhope some of these ideas work..they might not. I will try though.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I struggle with this alot lately - since this girl died.

There were plenty of things I did - that my parents had no clue about - and I always had to call my mom when I got somewhere (still have to)

I think in the end it really comes down to teaching them about right and wrong - and teaching them that they are not invincible. Kids (esp teenagers) think that they can do anything and don't even think about consequences. They need to know - if you do drugs - you could die. Simple as that. If you drink while driving - you could die.

I will always monitor what he is doing and who he is doing it with. I believe that who you choose to be friends with has a huge bearing on what you do during your teenage years.

The things that scare me more are the things that we have no control over - such as drunk drivers that are out there all over the roads.

This whole parenting thing is so hard and I don't know how I'll be 13 years from now - but I know I will always be there for him - and I will always try to teach him the right thing. You can be the most unbelievably perfect parent and your kid can still turn to drugs unfortunately.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

The story doesn't really affect my child rearing at all because these stories are always there; just some get more attention then others and bring it back to the forefront. I constantly worry for them from little things like hurt feelings to big things. I don't think that will ever change.

As far as raising my children, I will try my best. I try to make them feel good about themselves so they can build some self esteem. I try to teach them wrong from right, how to share and what compassion is by showing them for themselves and in my actions. I hope to continue to foster a relationship with them that is open and has mutual respect. I realize that these things are not given and will probably not be exactly as I plan them. I think one of the most important things I can do as a parent is to give them as much education regarding these topics as possible so that they can hopefully make good, educated decisions about all aspects of life.

As far as my hopes and dreams for them...I basically just want them to be kind, happy people - everything else would just be icing.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

Several years ago I discovered ASK THE PLANET on Yahoo. The things that kids would ask was a real eye opener. From sex to drugs I really realized what kids were up to.

I totally agree with Jeaninne said. Im not out to be their friend....that will come later when they are older. It's my job to be their parent and get them ready to live their lives. I plan on snooping on them and making sure I know what is going on, who they are with, and what they are up to.

My best word of advice is to not let yourself be the parent who always says "not my child". Whether it be them playing in the sandbox at 2 or 16 be able to admit that it could, in fact, be your child. Recognize that they are children and that if you dont see them, faults and all, you will never be able to teach them all that they need to know...

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I have been thinking about this a lot as well but not because of this girl. This girl is just one of the hundreds of kids that do drugs here on LI. It is everywhere and has been for decades.
But the fear of my child falling into this is there.

I can only do the best I possibly can, instilling all the values that I hold dear and PRAY that he will make the right decisions for himself.

But if he doesn't and falls, I will be there doing everything I can to pick him back up.

Re: I want to take a topic from NFR and see what the people on parenting are thinking about it-- the girl who died in Seaford and the headlines about heroine

I guess I hope that my kid is able to do some of what I did. I was no angel but I never really cared what my friends thought if I did only what I wanted to do and only when I felt like it. I had a blast in college but it was always library time then crazy fun time and my grades were great. For example, I had just come from the library when I won my dorm's erotic banana eating contest and I had no problem being sober for it . HS was not as much fun for me and I want my son to enjoy it more than I did but still get an education. I hope he finds that balance but it's tough.