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mama2charlotte
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1014 total posts
Name: Kimberly
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
This will be my brother-in-law’s third wedding!!!! The last wedding was three years ago.?? This wedding will be a big one because his fiancée has never been married before. To be honest, I husband and I are annoyed at the whole thing. Not to mention, for our wedding he didn’t give us a gift because he was in debt. I know this post might seem like a joke, but sadly it’s not. What would you do in terms of a gift? We will be invited, as well our son and daughter
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Posted 4/29/19 4:09 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
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CSK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 892 total posts
Name:
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Maybe $50 and a 3 fold picture frame that has pictures from the first 2 weddings and space for the 3rd?
Give what you want to, consider whether it will make waves. if you short it due to the 3rd wedding, is it going to piss them off and is that worth it to you? I'm not a good judge on gifts b/c I'm apparently cheaper than most LIers. I give $250 generally and I think I have $500 or so for my brother in law and brother.
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Posted 4/29/19 4:26 PM |
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mama2charlotte
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1014 total posts
Name: Kimberly
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by CSK
Maybe $50 and a 3 fold picture frame that has pictures from the first 2 weddings and space for the 3rd?
Give what you want to, consider whether it will make waves. if you short it due to the 3rd wedding, is it going to piss them off and is that worth it to you? I'm not a good judge on gifts b/c I'm apparently cheaper than most LIers. I give $250 generally and I think I have $500 or so for my brother in law and brother.
I love the $50 and frame idea. ??????
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Posted 4/29/19 4:30 PM |
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mama2charlotte
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1014 total posts
Name: Kimberly
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by mama2charlotte
Posted by CSK
Maybe $50 and a 3 fold picture frame that has pictures from the first 2 weddings and space for the 3rd?
Give what you want to, consider whether it will make waves. if you short it due to the 3rd wedding, is it going to piss them off and is that worth it to you? I'm not a good judge on gifts b/c I'm apparently cheaper than most LIers. I give $250 generally and I think I have $500 or so for my brother in law and brother.
I love the $50 and frame idea. ??????
Those?’s were supposed to be the laughing emoji. Don’t know why they came up like that. Sorry.
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Posted 4/29/19 4:31 PM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name: Jacqueline
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
haha! I like the 3 frame idea! lol
I think 250 is fair. Usually for family I would give more but it is his 3rd wedding so...
I am really surprised he would even agree to a 3rd actual wedding. If I was to ever get divorced and remarry, I would make sure that person knows there isnt going to be an actually wedding even if they had never been married before. A small ceremony fine...but I would never feel comfortable asking people for gifts a 2nd time...never mind 3 times!
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Posted 4/29/19 4:59 PM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
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Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Wow. I mean in this situation a gift off the registry and call it a day.
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Posted 4/29/19 6:21 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
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Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name: EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
i, too, love the frame idea lol
in this situation... because he's your brother-in-law... i would go with $250 if that's something you can swing and call it a day. consider it a donation to a charity and move on.
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Posted 4/29/19 6:54 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by babydreams21
Wow. I mean in this situation a gift off the registry and call it a day.
Yeah, me too. I'd do a registry gift, or $100 and a bottle of wine.
Not to be cheap, but it's the principle. How many wedding gifts should one have to give and so close together?! I get second marriage. I totally get that. Even third, but maybe like spread out a bit more than three years??
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Posted 4/29/19 7:03 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
just give what i give to anyone's wedding which i am sure everyone here will think i am cheap. but i only give $75-$100 per adult. so i give usually about 150-200 if me and my husband are going. I do not believe in having to cover your plate!
personally i wouldnt even take the kids but if you do i would probably stick with 150-200
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Posted 4/29/19 7:30 PM |
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by CSK
Maybe $50 and a 3 fold picture frame that has pictures from the first 2 weddings and space for the 3rd?
Give what you want to, consider whether it will make waves. if you short it due to the 3rd wedding, is it going to piss them off and is that worth it to you? I'm not a good judge on gifts b/c I'm apparently cheaper than most LIers. I give $250 generally and I think I have $500 or so for my brother in law and brother.
lmaoooooooo!!!!!
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Posted 4/29/19 8:16 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
I would give much less than I would normally, especially if his last wedding was only 3 years ago. I would give 100 or buy a gift equivalent.
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Posted 4/29/19 8:21 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
out of curiosity is he inviting a ton of people. I would think and hope after 3 weddings he doesn't invite anyone except parents and siblings.
i get the wife who never got married wants a big one but IMO i would think she invites everyone.
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Posted 4/29/19 8:25 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
For third wedding I always give a card and scratch off lotto tix
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Posted 4/29/19 9:13 PM |
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mama2charlotte
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1014 total posts
Name: Kimberly
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by blu6385
out of curiosity is he inviting a ton of people. I would think and hope after 3 weddings he doesn't invite anyone except parents and siblings.
i get the wife who never got married wants a big one but IMO i would think she invites everyone.
It seems like he is inviting cousins, friends too. I think the entire thing is tacky and ridiculous.
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Posted 4/29/19 9:56 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
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Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third weddivng, do you give less?
I would not give cash for a THIRD wedding. A small gift from the registry is appropriate and call it a day.
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Posted 4/29/19 10:36 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
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Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name: ..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by Mrs213
For third wedding I always give a card and scratch off lotto tix
Yes I heard the third wedding is traditionally lotto tickets. When he gets to his fourth wedding in another 2 or 3 years, the traditional gift is a Sunoco gift card. This is per Emily Post.
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Posted 4/29/19 11:11 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
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Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
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Posted 4/29/19 11:25 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
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Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name: Völlig losgelöst
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
I’d give about 100 and a gift from the registry.
I know it’s her first wedding, but she needs to understand that it isn’t his first wedding.
Three weddings? I guess the third time is a charm. I know my SO’s father has had three marriages. He’s still in his third marriage. I always wonder about that.
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Posted 4/30/19 3:16 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
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Member since 5/11 7618 total posts
Name: Momma <3
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If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
My brother got married in 2016 and divorced in 2017. He got married by the justice of the peace in 2018 (shotgun wedding). I gave him $100. He’s having a formal, big wedding this year for his 2018 wedding. I’m either giving a gift off the registry or a very small monetary gift.
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Posted 4/30/19 5:30 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name: S
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
A nice gift off of the registry, no cash.
Just because this is the bride's first wedding, doesn't mean that everyone has to be so generous. His side has been down that road once, twice, now a third time.
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Posted 4/30/19 7:49 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
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Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name: Pomegranate5
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
No cash!
The generous monetary gifts will just have to come from her side.
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Posted 4/30/19 9:45 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
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Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
When I got married it was my husband's second wedding. Honestly I would not have been offended or insulted if anyone on his side didn't want to give a gift or come to my shower, etc. I think that a card and something cheap off the registry is fine. I would not find it strange that she wants to have a wedding, it is her first, however given his track record she might want to reconsider the marriage, not just the wedding.
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Posted 4/30/19 9:49 AM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
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Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name: Me speaks pirate!
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
The second wedding was 3 yrs ago and he's already going for #3?? Wow didn't even wait for the ink on the marriage license, and then the divorce papers to dry did he?! I'm afraid to ask how long ago the 1st wedding was lol. Why the rush? Give a toaster. And not a toaster from the registry, any old toaster will do. In fact a used toaster would be best. Go to Good Will and find a toaster or some broken candle sticks and done. It's the same way this guy treats marriage. What you really should be doing is chipping in with the rest of the family and getting him a gift certificate to get his head checked or marriage counseling before you're all invited to do the chicken dance at wedding #4 in 2021.
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Posted 4/30/19 10:12 AM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by babydreams21
Wow. I mean in this situation a gift off the registry and call it a day.
This!
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Posted 4/30/19 1:03 PM |
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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name: A
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Re: If it’s a third wedding, do you give less?
Posted by MC09
The second wedding was 3 yrs ago and he's already going for #3?? Wow didn't even wait for the ink on the marriage license, and then the divorce papers to dry did he?! I'm afraid to ask how long ago the 1st wedding was lol. Why the rush? Give a toaster. And not a toaster from the registry, any old toaster will do. In fact a used toaster would be best. Go to Good Will and find a toaster or some broken candle sticks and done. It's the same way this guy treats marriage. What you really should be doing is chipping in with the rest of the family and getting him a gift certificate to get his head checked or marriage counseling before you're all invited to do the chicken dance at wedding #4 in 2021.
Lol. My Uncle was married 7 times (two of those marriages were to the same woman)! My mom always joked that she was gonna go broke buying wedding gifts. Ironically the last marriage lasted over 25 years (until his death).
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Posted 4/30/19 1:06 PM |
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