If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

How did you deal? I've asked for recommendations on local babysitters, but I just can't get myself to start the process.

We have a party to go to next weekend, and I guess I could invite the babysitter over a couple times to get Riley used to being put to bed by someone else...but geez, she gives my mom a helluva time- imagine a stranger? And how could I really enjoy myself at this party wondering about her?

Any tips? I know she's just so young, only a little over 5 months. I'm sure if she was at daycare now this wouldn't be as much of a problem, but she doesn't start til January.

So how did you handle it? TIA!

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I just went for it...no prep, whatsoever. I figured he's going to be good or bad, there's no way to really prepare with a baby. The first time I left him with a friend, I called every hour or (we had a rehearsal dinner). The second time, I didn't call at all. Now, I don't worry about it.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Well frankly I didnt go.


I have no family in NY and Jim's family was never an option. We never used babysitters because we just dont trust anyone we dont KNOW yet. I'm not leaving my child with a stranger that I can't trust. Just my paranoia sorry.

So plenty of times one of us just wouldnt make it. We'd also just skip parties all together. AJ is now 15mo and we do have an Aunt here in TX who loves to take care of her. But we still know there will be stuff we miss.

For me its just fine. Its my daughter and its her first few years until she can talk and tell me what happened with the sitter. Parties, etc will always be there and will happen again. If it a big thing like a wedding.. like I said only one of us went.

*shrug*

This was just the way it HAD to be for us. There was never, ever an option for family to care for her while were in NY.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

i use friends...

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I don't go out. I have family who can occasionally babysit, but they are all busy with jobs and kids of their own. DS is not at an age where I think he would do well staying at someone else's house, so unless they can come to me, we skip things.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I just really don't go anywhere without her unless her grandparents are visiting

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We don't have family here and we've used a college student (friend of our family) and daycare teachers in the past.

I just got some teenagers willing to babysit so I'm using them more now that DD is older.

I'd like to start a babysitting co-op with a few families in my area.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Now that G is older, we have a babysitter who was a referral.

In the past, I always had some family around, a grandparent, aunt or someone....so i was able to go out.

If not, I didnt.
I , like you, would worry.

Im finding that now I will use the babysitter. G is older and a little more on her own. She is fully potty trained and if we go out, she will be in bed.

As a couple, we need WE time and enjoy date nites or nites out.

I dont want to deprive myself of that either.

Message edited 12/4/2009 12:59:12 PM.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

My kids are in daycare/preschool and I still have a hard time leaving them with a sitter.
I will be honest we don't go anywhere together unless both kids are down. I can't imagine even my SIL(she doesn't have kids) putting them down. We just go out after they are in bed.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I did not go out until he was one. A family friend offered. So I guess I was OK when he was 1. It was a one time thing.

Then when DS was 18 months someone recommended me their mother helper. I started that way. She is 16 and VERY responsible. She came many times. I waited until he was over 2 to let her babysit by herself for 3 hours.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We use daycare teachers - they know them SO well and I trust them implicitly. I think, in fact, one of them is even better with Alex than I am!

Other than that, do you have any friends you can ask? For the first 3 months with Alex, I had a few friends watch her for special occasions.

Do you have any friends with kids who can refer a good babysitter?

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We don't go out much. Now my stepdaughters are old enough to watch him (and he's a little more self sufficient so it's easier for them) but before that, we rarely went out!

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Both of ours DS's babysitters are teachers or assistants at their daycare. Even so, I was nervous the first time we ever left DS #1 with a sitter to go to dinner. It got easier the more time they spent with DS#1 and now with both boys.

I would see if any of your neighbors or a friend can recommend someone and then have that person come over to spend some time with all of you so you can make sure you're all comfortable.

Message edited 12/4/2009 1:14:50 PM.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We have a teenage girl that was recommended to us by neighbors. I only have her babysit after I have put DS to bed.

I am crazy. I know.
I wish I could let go more. I would be happier that way.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

For the 1st year of DDs life we lived in the midwest and truthfully we just did not go out. Lack of family around was actually one of the reasons DH and I moved to NY - so that we could be closer to his family. DH had his DREAM job before but it was just too difficult to be so far away. I am still far from my own family but at least we have DHs.

Sorry, I know how difficult it is

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I had a babysitter I hired from CL to watch them during the day(I work from home) Once I got to know her she babysat at night. Now one of the girls that works with my DH watches them but is only available weeknights so we'll go out once every two weeks or so.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We didn't have a babysitter until DS was 6, and DD was 3.... our current babysitter was working at my Physical Therapy office, so I've known her for WAAAYYYY to long...

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Ale is MUCH MUCH better for her babysitters and always has been.

I just had her come over a little early, and "introduced" them, and left.

She was fine with it. And DH and I have great, relaxing date nights totally worth the $$.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We have used one of the girls from DS's day care and plan to use her again. It worked out really well! She already knows him well and basically had to feed him and put him to bed.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

We had a summer camp counselor babysit DS a couple times before he was a year. I liked her, and she had good references from people using the camp, and the director (who I know), so I felt really comfortable with her. DS loved her--unfortunately, she moved to the city after finishing grad school.

We have another babysitter who came highly recommended by several families in town, two of whom I know pretty well. She is also a grad student. Still, it was hard to take the plunge and hire her. I kind of had to when some things came up that I needed to help DH with, and DS could not be with us. DS seemed really happy with her, and I like her from what I have seen, so we've had her back here and there.

It is uncomfortable to have someone who is not family or a close friend watch your child, but we felt we needed time together also. My mother doesn't approve, but she isn't nearby, and she had her mother to watch us a lot, so she really can't judge IMO.

As far as sleep, you could either go out early and come home before bedtime or go out later after your baby is asleep.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Friends. After my mother died, I had nobody to watch my children. My friends stepped up like you would not believe. My friend Mike watched them on his days off, my friend Darleen picked up the slack whenever possible. I would have died without them.

When it came to 'going out' for fun.. when close friends or family weren't available - I stayed home. I still don't employ 'outside' babysitters even though they are much older now. But.. I'm something of a freak.

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

I'd definitely recommend doing it at this age and not putting it off. DS is 2 and we're doing it for the first time tomorrow night. We found a local college girl through care.com. Because we waited so long and he has a nanny, it is very difficult to get him used to anyone. We're having her come over at 7 tomorrow to play with him and do the bedtime routine with us. Then we'll go out. We're going to have to do this until he feels comfortable with her which I suspect is going to take a while!

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

what one of my mommy friends suggested to me is find someone (a friend you trust, etc.) who lives near you with children - either your own baby's age or near...or older - doesn't matter.

trade sitting duties with them. they go out this week - you go out next week....no charge - but each of you get a night out - at least once a month....(you can do as often as the people want).

she said it's ALWAYS worked out well for her and i think it's GENIOUS!!!

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Re: If you didn't have family readily available as babysitters...

Haven't used her yet, but I have DS daycare teacher in my phone. She is with him 4 out of 5 days so I trust her and I won't be worried that he doesn't know this person.