I'm going to lose my mind

I've had it, I've just had it...

I'm in the middle of email wars with my two brothers who are absolultely INSISTENT that they cannot come help me move my father on the day I need them most- telling me that unlike DH, they don't get paid time off. Why the &*(#$ are you comparing yourselves to Dh and what kind of paid time off he gets?? He's doing the two of you a major ((&*^(^&^ favor by taking time off HIS job to help YOUR father

And on top of it, I just cannot take this living situation anymore. My father is in the living room. His aide is hanging out in the kitchen. I feel like a ****** refuge in my own home - I'm stuck here in the bedroom trying to get some peace and quiet and some privacy.

And, my father is telling me that he is just too overwhelmed to pick out furniture and linens, and just about everything he needs for his new apartment. So I guess that means I'm going to have to do it for him. There go my weekends that I like to reserve for quality time for my daughter. I don't want to be mean, but come on - you are 72 years old - you were an attorney for 30+ years - you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and making your own decisions before I moved you into my house, there is simply no reason why you can't do some of these things yourself!

I'm so frustrated. I'm about to lose my mind.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Oh and this is for your Bro's

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Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Beth - sounds like your dad is depressed. Make him do it online & have them shipped. He needs to do something for himself.

Hang in there!

Oh and boo hiss to your brothers!

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Posted by nrthshgrl



Beth - sounds like your dad is depressed. Make him do it online & have them shipped. He needs to do something for himself.

Hang in there!

Oh and boo hiss to your brothers!

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

give me their email addresses.

I'm done with them too.

Can I act as your advocate?

As for your dad..tough love. Sit him in front of the computer and tell him to shop.

If that doesn't work, have his aide take him shopping.

Does he need the aide?

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

I would shop online and if you can time it right - have it shipped directly to the new place.

Is the aide allowed to take him shopping? I bet that would be a nice break for them - some shopping and maybe lunch.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Your brothers sound like real a-holes. Who needs 'em!!!

Your father is going to need to start being more self-sufficient soon being that he will be out of your house (before you know it!). I"m sure there is a way for you to tell your father that there is no way you can do everything for him... plain and simple, it's just not fair.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

I tried the online shopping idea, and suggested he go with his aid, but no, he can't do it without me. He needs me to make the decisions.

Doesn't help that my mom and aunt are visiting today and they were asking me about how DH and I were coordinating the move and my aunt simply turns to me and says, "beth you aren't thinking clearly - you're planning this thing all wrong".

Really? If you all think you are so FARKING smart then why don't YOU plan this ****** thing and take care of every minute detail?! I'll GLADLY give the responsibility to you. And if you aren't involved, then SHUT THE HELL UP

I got up, said to them "I'm done - goodnight", walked out and left everyone in the dining room.

And now, I'm sitting in my room, crying like a baby. Poor Dh. He's left to fend for himself in there

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Youch!
I understand your frustration.
I have my parents here and it is not easy!

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Message edited 8/26/2007 10:10:35 PM.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Don't you love when everyone has an opinion?

Give your opinion but offer no help?

Yep, shuttith..come to me when you have some real good advice and some help.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Posted by Bxgell2

I tried the online shopping idea, and suggested he go with his aid, but no, he can't do it without me. He needs me to make the decisions.

Doesn't help that my mom and aunt are visiting today and they were asking me about how DH and I were coordinating the move and my aunt simply turns to me and says, "beth you aren't thinking clearly - you're planning this thing all wrong".

Really? If you all think you are so FARKING smart then why don't YOU plan this ****** thing and take care of every minute detail?! I'll GLADLY give the responsibility to you. And if you aren't involved, then SHUT THE HELL UP

I got up, said to them "I'm done - goodnight", walked out and left everyone in the dining room.

And now, I'm sitting in my room, crying like a baby. Poor Dh. He's left to fend for himself in there

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Beth,

I am soo sorry to hear about this. You are dealing with way too much.

I think the universe is testing you.

Stand up to your brothers. Tell them you are done with them. UNtil they know how to share the responsiblity of your parents, you want nothing to do with them.

Tell your dad that he needs to do some of this. Tell him you will help him with X but if he can't do it all in 1 weekend, he needs to do Y and Z on his own or online.

Tell your aunt that you are doing everything on your own and if she wants to take over, she is more than welcome. But if she doesn't, she better keep her mouth shut!!

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

About the move...
About him not being able to buy furniture and linens.... then let him sleep on a cold mattress a day or two... he'll run to the store by the next day. If he was disabled or something, I could see, but not a healthy person. You are already doing a ton for him.

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Thanks everyone

DH is my angel - he came in last night to check on me, and then went right back to them and spent the next 40 minutes telling my aunt that she was completely out of line, and telling both of them that the root of the issue isn't how I am coordinating this move, but instead, that I'm completely and totally overwhelmed because my siblings have left me hanging, which is an utter disgrace. My aunt apologized - my mother said she would talk to my brothers.

In the meantime, I feel like I"m coming apart at the seams, and I just can't handle all of this on my own. I'm going to talk to my father tonight about hiring movers, and about getting his furniture at Macy's instead of Ikea, so that it can be delivered directly to his apartment assembled. That way, all I have to do is concentrate on getting the little things, like linens, utensils, etc., and unpacking everything so that it's in move-in condition the next day. It will be a little tight for him, but I know he can afford it, and already has a budget set aside for the move.

Wish me luck... otherwise, someone will have to send me a straight-jacket

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop over here. Never heard from A-#1 @$$**** over here either

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

ahhh, don't you just love family

I am so sorry they are putting so much stress on you Your DH is wonderful for talking to your Aunt and setting her straight. Good luck speaking to your Dad

Re: I'm going to lose my mind

Posted by Bxgell2

I've had it, I've just had it...

I'm in the middle of email wars with my two brothers who are absolultely INSISTENT that they cannot come help me move my father on the day I need them most- telling me that unlike DH, they don't get paid time off. Why the &*(#$ are you comparing yourselves to Dh and what kind of paid time off he gets?? He's doing the two of you a major ((&*^(^&^ favor by taking time off HIS job to help YOUR father

And on top of it, I just cannot take this living situation anymore. My father is in the living room. His aide is hanging out in the kitchen. I feel like a ****** refuge in my own home - I'm stuck here in the bedroom trying to get some peace and quiet and some privacy.

And, my father is telling me that he is just too overwhelmed to pick out furniture and linens, and just about everything he needs for his new apartment. So I guess that means I'm going to have to do it for him. There go my weekends that I like to reserve for quality time for my daughter. I don't want to be mean, but come on - you are 72 years old - you were an attorney for 30+ years - you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and making your own decisions before I moved you into my house, there is simply no reason why you can't do some of these things yourself!

I'm so frustrated. I'm about to lose my mind.