I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Quick background: DH and I have been TTC for 11 months, when we finally had our first round of IUI (including being on Clomid, which I'd been on for about 4 months before the IUI). So we had the IUI on 10/24. I got a BFP 2 weeks later!! We were ecstatic!! So, since we were seeing an RE, I was still being monitored every week. Everything was positive. Then when I was about 6 weeks, the doc said she didn't really see a yolk sac and wasn't sure if the pregnancy would survive. So a week later I went back and the doc did another sono and said there is def. a yolk sac, and saw a flicker of a heartbeat, and that all looked good again, and for me to make an appt. to see my regular OB. Another week later, the sono tech said he could only find a faint heartbeat. So, the doc said things didn't look good but for me to go see my regular OB anyway. So I went on Monday and my OB said he didn't see anything inside my uterus! My HCG was over 66k so they wanted to see me again on Weds for the sono tech to take another look at the baby. So I went back last night for another sono and I felt good about that one because the sono tech at that office is fantastic, and I knew he would be able to find what was in there and be able to find out what was going on. So, he said there is def. a baby there and it is measuring 7 weeks (according to my dates I am 8w5d). He said he couldn't see a heartbeat though. So my OB talked to me and said that things don't look good, and that the pregnancy has failed.

He wanted to do a D&C on Friday, but I told him I wanted to wait. I kind of felt like if I the baby is only 7 weeks, maybe it is too early to see the heartbeat? I just felt like I wanted to wait another week to see if we could see the heartbeat in another week. Does this make sense, or am I just avoiding the inevitable? The doc said that if I miscarry on my own at this point that I'll have several hours of very heavy bleeding and cramping which is why he wanted to do the D&C. So, if I wait until next week and things don't change, I'll end up having the D&C 4 days before Christmas.

What would you do? Would you just take care of it tomorrow, or would you wait until next week? Would you risk miscarrying on your own? Has anybody had a m/c at 8-9 weeks? If so, how bad was it?

Finally, he told me to wait until about March to start trying again. Do I really have to wait that long?

If you've finished reading this, thank you. I appreciate any advice or suggestions anybody has at this point.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I'm so sorry.....I miscarried at 8 weeks naturally. I actually bled really lightly for 3 days but 3 weeks later I bled heavily and had some bad cramps. Not horrible though. Are they going to check your HCG levels to see they are going down to re-confirm? I had them do a few to mkae sure the numbers were going down becaue I was so worried about being misdiagnosed. FM if you have any questions or need to vent

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I think you need to do what you feel is right. I think our instincts are a good thing to trust.
I haven't had any experieince with this, but a friend of mine was measuring a week or so behind in the early stages of her pregnancy. One of the doctors at the practice she was going told her that maybe the pg was not meant to be and that she would probably miscarry. She didn't like that prognosis, so she saw one of the other doctors in the practice and insisted she be put on progesterone.
Well, two weeks ago, she gave birth to a healthy 9lb11oz baby boy.

I am not writing this story to give you false hope, but to tell you trust your gut.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I'm so sorry about everything you are going through! If it were me, I would definitely wait, especially with all the back and forth you've been going through with doctors....thats just my opinion. But my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I'm all for the d&C. IMO!!! B/c it cleans and scrapes you all out. Also IMO it gives you a better chance of conceiving next time b/c of that.

GL to you!!!

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

First off I am sorry. I m/c at 10 weeks. Our baby stopped developing at 6w2d, and we didn't find out til almost 4 w later. After my D&C we waited 2 full "normal" cycles, before we TTC. And that is what we are doing now....... You will be in my thoughts and prayers dear. But I also got 4 opinions. You are in our prayers

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Message edited 12/13/2007 11:19:42 AM.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I'm really not sure what I would do but I
wanted to give you some

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

My friends, good friend, was measuring behind, and they couldnt really find a heartbeat and she was measuring behind, and they wanted to do a d&c

She was 5 weeks and she didnt have the d&c and she didnt, and she gave birth to a healthy baby boy
Good luck to you and whatever you choose to do.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Thank you so much for your replies. I knew I should trust my instincts. I'm really actually kind of mad that they didn't go an HCG again last night. I too thought they should be checking to see if it is going down. I guess if they still don't see anything by next Tuesday when I go again, I can schedule the D&C for Friday but still have my level drawn and will get more info before they actually do the procedure. Please keep us in your prayers. I haven't given up hope just yet.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Personally, if I was going through what you were going through, I would give it another week until they were POSITIVE that there was no heartbeat. I would just want to give the baby every chance to survive. This is just my experience from what I just went through. If I had known there was a chance for my baby to survive, I would have given it to him/her.

I know it is a VERY hard decision to make, if you need to talk, i'm here.

Message edited 12/13/2007 11:33:11 AM.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

You have to do what you feel is best for you. This is a very personal situation so you need to make yourself at peace.
If you feel like you need to wait another week, than you should do that. The D&C will only take a short amount of time. It takes a while for your heart to heal after the loss of a pregnancy, so wether you do it tomorrow or next week, you will probably feel the same way at christmas time.
Having had a MC before, i wanted to say that after its over, it does get easier to move on and try again. I personally didnt wait the 2 cycles, we tried right away and got PG the next month.
Do what you want to do, go with your gut. Many

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

As long as they definitely saw something in your uterus I would wait. If they didn't I would worry about ectopic preg. which can be life threatening.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

With my m/c they did HCG levels every other day, to MAKE SURE that they were dropping and not rising. Heartbeats aren't the easiest thing to see, but HCG levels will tell them what is going on. Praying for you.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Listen to your gut, 4 days before christmas or 14, doesn't matter, give yourself and your baby a chance. Just wait and see. If it is not meant to be, your body will know and know what to do. Good Luck with everything

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. What an emotional roller coaster!

I've never had any experience with this before...but I feel as though you have to go with your gut. If you want to wait a week...wait. I KNOW that I would get another opinion before doing anything!

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am praying for the best!
I had a m/c around 7-8 weeks, it started of as spotting, then I had bad cramps and heavy bleeding for 3-4 days. I was still able to do my normal activities (even though I didn't want to) then I spotted for 10 days.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Posted by neener1211

Personally, if I was going through what you were going through, I would give it another week until they were POSITIVE that there was no heartbeat. I would just want to give the baby every chance to survive. This is just my experience from what I just went through. If I had known there was a chance for my baby to survive, I would have given it to him/her.

I know it is a VERY hard decision to make, if you need to talk, i'm here.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Personally I would wait it out. With all the back and forth I would just wait. Call and insist to have your BETA levels drawn. They can fax a script into a lab and you can have it done tommorow. THen I would wait. If you miscarry naturally or wait a week and have a d and c you might still be bleeding on christmas either way. I bled for 37 days. Whatever you decide I hope the best for you. The two months will go quickly when you can try again.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I m/c at 8 weeks and know how this feels. Honestly, I would go w/ your gut not only because many times it's correct, but because there were signs of a heartbeat at various times. Another week is probably not going to harm anything. Sorry to hear about this, again, I know exactly how it feels.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this right now.
Definitly trust your gut and instincts.
This happened to my friend and they told her she may have m/c since they didn't hear a heartbeat and a week later, they did hear it and she gave birth 2weeks ago to a baby boy 9lbs 11oz...SO I hope this is the same thing and I will pray all goes well for you...good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Posted by sfp0701

Personally I would wait it out. With all the back and forth I would just wait. Call and insist to have your BETA levels drawn. They can fax a script into a lab and you can have it done tommorow. THen I would wait. If you miscarry naturally or wait a week and have a d and c you might still be bleeding on christmas either way. I bled for 37 days. Whatever you decide I hope the best for you. The two months will go quickly when you can try again.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I personally think you should wait another week and be sure. So you know in your heart that there really was no heartbeat.

I don't know if this helps but I had a miscarriage in sept, I went for my first sonogram and they said the baby was 7 weeks, but they saw a hearbeat. According to me it should have been 8.5 weeks. I had a miscarriage that weekend. Actually it was the start of a miscarriage. There was alot of bleeding and I went to the ER. There was no heartbeat. I had a D/C that night.

D/C clean you out and from what I have heard make you more fertile. The doctor told me to wait one cycle. Which I did and I am now 8.5 weeks pregnant!

Do whatever you & your husband feel is best. My thoughts are with you.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

If you have any doubts, I would suggest that you wait. Otherwise you will always be haunted by the thought that you made the wrong decision.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

Thank you so so so much for all your words of hope and encouragement. I did call my doc today and tell him that I want the blood drawn. I am going in tomorrow am to have it done. I'll just take it from there. The worst part right now is the waiting, and with every little pain/pulling I feel, I keep thinking "Oh God, here we go..."

I just have to keep praying that God will do what is best for me and our baby.

Re: I'm so sad. Plus a few question for you ladies.

i am so sorry to hear youre going through all this right now.. you are in my prayers hun. and my opinion on this is that i would wait until i knew 100% that the baby would not survive before i decided to do a d&c... i lost a baby before i had DD.. at 17w2d. it was one of the hardest things ive ever been through. i found out about a month before then that the baby had stopped growing and had a bunch of problems including a heart defect.. and they told me the baby would not live much longer and definitely not make it to birth. so only after getting a bunch of opinions from other doctors and stuff did i then agree to have a d&e. IMO i wouldnt give up until you know for sure that there is no chance for the baby to make it. good luck and we are all here for you