Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

It was a very interesting discussion. No conclusions were drawn though!

I know that there are many interfaith couples here, but I am not sure about interracial couples.

I think it is harder to marry someone of a different faith. In my 20s I dated a fairly religious Jewish man and I quickly realized that the relationship was going nowhere qucikly. He was a very nice man but his religious observances really restricted what we could and couldn't do.

What do you think?

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

Hmmm...great question. Neither is easy, I think. And I think it is family values rather than individuals to be honest. I've seen people be disowned for marrying someone for either reason. But in terms of society, I still think people have to come farther when it comes to accepting and supporting couples of mixed races.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I think it might be harder for the couple themselves if they are a different faith, depending, of course, on how observant each person is.

I think it is more difficult to marry someone of a different race when dealing with other people, b/c society still has its prejudices and biases. Different religion isn't out there for everyone to see, while a difference in race is.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I'm in an interfaith relationship. It's wonderful. Granted neither of us are overly religious. So we enjoy each other's customs and celebrate both of our backgrounds.

I imagine it would be much more difficult had one of us been really tied to our religious background.

ETA: I just reread this thread. Sorry. I didn't read it as an either-or post. I think our generation is much more accepting and encouraging of interfaith/ inter racial relationships.

But I think either can be difficult if emotions are high or beliefs are cemented.

Message edited 12/8/2008 7:00:30 PM.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

Since I am in an interfaith marriage, I'd have to say faith. We have a 10+ year relationship & still have a tug of war with religious issues.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I've dated both, married interfaith.

What makes life more challenging as a couple, in such relationships, are the comments you get from others, often perfect strangers or acquaintances that will "see" you differently once they know. A couple can "be on the same page" regarding cultural/race issues but it's often outside forces that are the problem.

That being said, if I walked down the street with a SO of another race, there was no hiding it and people would make assumptions, comments, whatever. Yeah, sometimes heads would turn when we walked into a room... especially in some other areas of the country

If I walk down the street with my DH, who was raised with a different faith, no one knows, no comments regarding that. Although it was interesting when a few co-workers of his religion knew I was marrying him, they assumed I was converting.

It's easier to hide your faith, than your race.

ETA: I also think it's easier today to marry interfaith if both people are pretty secular in their beliefs. If you are very conservative in your religious beliefs, it can pose a problem.

Message edited 12/8/2008 7:30:44 PM.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

part of me wishes we were different faiths so holidays would not be split...
but i know there are potential difficulties marrying interfaith as families have expectations and may be prejudice esp after a child is born and which religion it is raised as ...

but for holiday purposes only, it would be easier if our families were of different faiths !

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I'm Jewish and DH is Catholic. neither of us is religious, but if we were, I could def see that being an issue.

we have had a few "moments" where the fact that we are different faiths became a source of friction, but it was quickly resolved.

would it be easier if we were both Jewish or Catholic? probably. but you can't help who you fall in love with and for us, that was the most imporant factor.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I'm in an interfaith marriage too and while it is something that is different about us, we have an understanding and an appreciation for eachother's belief's and have actually found that it's something that has drawn us closer as a couple. It's special to us and while it can be challenging in certain ways as far as what you are going to raise your children as and people's unsoliciated opinions, it's something we've accepted in eachother and have embraced.

Now, I have a friend that is married to a man of a differnt race and she has all sorts of issues that have stemmed from it. in that case, it's definetely something that has been harder for them to overcome.

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

I think it's easier to marry a different Race. Faith is much harder

Re: Interesting discussion at work today: Do you think it is easier to marry someone of a different faith or a different race?

It depends on the couple. I think that the religious beliefs and our experiences with our culture/ethnic group have an equal impact on who we are. If a couple loves each other enough, they'd be willing to learn about and try to understand their partner's different experiences.

It also depends on the people around them. If these couples come from families that are accepting of "others" they'll have an easier time.