Interesting thought on grief

I was recently told you never get over the loss of a loved one. That the loss is so profound a piece of your heart is torn out and you simply find a way to live with that hole that resides in your heart.

It's often equated to losing a limb. You continue to live a productive "normal" life but you do it after you've learned to live without it.

I thought that was an interesting and fairly accurate way of putting it.

Thoughts?

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I agree 110%. You learn to live WITH the grief and WITH the loss, but you never, ever fully recover from it.

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I totally agree with this........and it s ucks!

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Very true. I lost both of my parents within weeks of each other. I feel like I will never feel true happiness ever again. I just get by.

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I totally agree with that.

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I agree with this. I lost both of my parents over 14 years ago. I still think of either or both of them almost everyday and there is definitely a void in my life that will never be filled.

I can't even imagine how large the void would be if I lost a spouse or a child.

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I totally agree with this idea.

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I would completely agree with this.

There are 3 losses in my life, that literally, if I think about them long enough, suck the air out of my lungs.

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I think this is 100% correct.
It's a new kind of "normal" but it's never what it used to be.
I follow a blog of a couple who lost their 4 month old daughter to SIDS and she titles it- Another Day Stronger- Our Journey to finding a new normal.

I agree with that.

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Message edited 11/12/2011 5:26:55 PM.

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yes. i lost many people in my life...and both of my parents 15 years ago.

at times i feel i never had a life with them..as in...how can i miss what i never had ....bc it almost seems like a dream that i ever had them.

other times ...anniversaries..being sick etc....i feel as if my heart literally is breaking all over again.

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I completely agree. After losing my daughter, Sarah, I've said that I'll never be "normal" again...Like another poster said, you have a new normal...My heart will always ache for her...For all of the things that I lost out on with her. And life will never ever be what I had envisioned it to be. Life goes on...I have moments of utter happiness, but, there is always that hole in my heart. And maybe this will sound weird, but, I don't think that I want that hole to ever disappear - because it shows just how much and how strong my love for her is...

Message edited 6/8/2011 2:01:30 PM.

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I completely agree. I lost my brother almost 8 yrs ago. My life has never and will never be "normal" again. I will never know whats its like to like w/out that ache in my heart or the feeling of loss. I feel more like my heart is gone as opposed to a limb.
With that said, I think its also important to remember that as hard as it maybe at times, its important that life be lived w/as much joy as possible. In my particular situation, I feel as though I owe it to my brother and myself.

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yep. That's it. and those who haven't experienced it can never understand it it's a club, a club that I wish I never had to be a part of - I wish no one ever had to be a part of it

its been almost 8 years and sometimes it still doesn't seem real. Sometimes I still think I see my dad on the street

its hard to even quantify. Its hard to wrap your head around ... Of course we all go on but its never the same. Your entire life is completely changed forever and you just have to find a way to move forward.

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It never gets better but it gets easier....

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I totally agree, it doesn't get better, it gets easier, I lost my mom 6 yrs ago, and the miss will always be there, but I do know she will always be in my heart....

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this is what i have figured out and what i usually tell people that have just lost someone. you never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it

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Wow, I was looking for the like icon, thinking I was on facebook.. Every post is SO true. My feelings exactly.. I lost my Dad almost 5 years ago (August will be 5 years already). ":((( You NEVER get over it.. There is a huge hole in my heart.. You just try to learn to find a "new" way to live.. But, you really never get over it.. Times does not make it easier, as they say. That ache in your heart and the pit of your stomach.. The feeling when you think of them, that takes your breathe away. I was reading all your posts, Ladies, and thinking OMG.. So true.. That is why I was saying, I was looking for the like button, I am like LIKE LIKE LIKE, then I realized LIF doesn't have a LIKE button. they should.. So sorry to all you Ladies for all your losses.. :(

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Very true.

I lost my father when I was 12. November will be 22 years. Every time I think of him, I cry. Every single time.

My wedding was in April and when I got my proofs back from my photographer, I could tell by looking at the pics when I was thinking of him and wishing he was there. You can see the loss in my eyes. When I danced with my mother, we both cried the entire time.

I miss him every day. You would think after 22 years it would be a little easier. Nope. Not for me.

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I agree ...i lost my dad this past july....it was sudden and very unexpected...i am crying just writing this ...but i am so grateful he got to meet his first granddaughter, and walked me down the isle 10-10-10. He past away a day after my daughter turned 1 month...so i feel blessed in one way that god let him be here during my rough pregnancy and enjoy at least a month with my beautiful dd .