Is this passive aggressive?

In follow up to my earlier (and more important) post about my stepson figuring out our big news... His mom commented to me that "IF" we ARE having twins than she is very happy for us because there is no way to learn what life is really all about until I have kids of my own.... so she is happy for us and hopes we are blessed with two.

Is it me, or is that an extremely condescending and passive aggressive thing for her to say to me since she has had two children and I haven't (YET)? Could it have been more innocent than the way I'm taking it?

She also commented that my SS would be very excited and will still love her other baby because her other baby was his FIRST brother, but he will love all his new brothers and/or sisters too....
It almost seems like she's being a little crazy and insecure to me because why WOULDN'T he still love his little half-brother? This is not a competition. I'm confused because usually she and I get along but she seems weird. Is it me?

UPDATE: Well, it is a special circumstance because her son is with DH and I more than he is with her... so I think you all are correct about her fears.

Plus, she has just asked if she can send pictures of herself with my SS and her other baby to our house for my SS to keep in his room. I've decided to just go with it because after thinking it through, I do think it's just her being afraid of being replaced rather than anything malicious. I'll put the pictures in a photo album for him.

Message edited 1/2/2009 8:14:33 AM.

Re: Is this passive aggressive?

Not a SP, but yes that's passive agressive.

From an outside point of view, I agree that being a stepmom appears to be very different from a mom (unless you've completely raised the child without any biomom) and it's one of those things that you don't get until you're there.

It's funny how people usually speak their greatest fears when they least want to. I could see the worry that she and her son are going to be replaced.

Re: Is this passive aggressive?

A little. She sounds like she was voicing her fears. I would just take it with a grain of salt. She is kind of right in the sense that being a SM is different than being a bio mom.

Re: Is this passive aggressive?

Well, it is a special circumstance because her son is with DH and I more than he is with her... so I think you all are correct about her fears.

Plus, she has just asked if she can send pictures of herself with my SS and her other baby to our house for my SS to keep in his room. I've decided to just go with it because after thinking it through, I do think it's just her being afraid of being replaced rather than anything malicious. I'll put the pictures in a photo album for him.