jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

After my layoff in medical sales recently I'm doing some "soul searching" and find myself at a painful crossroad - yet again, and yet so different this time b/c last time I was in a similar situation I was not a mom. I'm tired of traveling for 3-4 weeks for training for a job I will lose a year later due to things out of my control, I'm tired of making someone else rich while I struggle and then losing the job b/c my product didn't make 10 bil, only 9 bil kind of thing. I'm tired of my jobs demanding they come first when my child needs medical attention. I know I probably sound whiny and maybe right now I am. DH is in the same industry, and between the 2 of us we have seen an average of at least one lay off a year. Granted, my last position was a contracted position and hence had no longevity to begin with. I'm going to give birth in less than 2 weeks so looking for a new job right this moment will go nowhere. Again, to leave my 2 kids behind for long training session, with no guarantee of any kind of longevity, just seems like I'm spinning my wheels. I'm also tired of fighting with DH about money and expectations of one another which only ends up with him somehow feeling he does nothing to help me at home and me feeling like I have done nothing to help with the finances or like I should run out tomorrow and wait tables at Fridays 9 months pregnant and resume 5 days after my c-section b/c taking care of the kids (and GFB myself) are not important.

I already have a master's degree I'm paying off forever. I have contemplated teaching, but would need yet another degree and I hear that the market for teachers on LI is tough. Many sub or become teacher assistants b/c they cannot find opportunities. I can't put myself thousands more in the hole to come up empty again.

I just want to know what other careers are out there that make sense for a working mother. With the expense of daycare/sitters, I don't want to do something for the sake of "getting out of the house", I don't care about that. I care about the almost 6 figure income I lost in my last layoff. That position while I had it was worth daycare as I was not working to afford it. Now with 2 kids, the job has to have something going for it. I don't know - maybe I just need to s*ck up and go away for however long is demanded and deal with all the other demands. Just wanted to get a sense of what others do. We talk about moving out of state, so we can get a larger home and maybe make things easier on us, but honestly, it's like throwing darts at a board. I can't tell what really makes one area good to raise kids at this point and another sub par. Even here on LI, it's contraversial and preference really, it seems. Of course some are obvious, but there's good and bad in all districts everywhere.

This really turned into a rant. I just can't sleep anymore and feel very stressed. Our home is so cluttered and small and our family is growing. Now that DD is running around her safety concerns me with all the stuff in the way - by stuff I mean the furniture, I can't even get rid of say my china cabinet b/c my kitchen is so bad I have to store pots, pans and other kitchen items in it yet to sink $20k into a "new" kitchen in this tiny house seems waistful, to dormer we may as well move. DH gets mad b/c I'm not grateful for the roof over our head, and maybe I should be... he thinks my need to "plan ahead" is out of control. However, I feel so overwhelmed b/c I'm having a c-section and know that once I'm cut, that's it... I can't move things, I can't pick my DD up, I can't cook and I can't run to the basement to do laundry or clean something we didn't "plan" to use. I'm virtually useless for a few weeks. I'm trying to figure out where to put the baby during the day so as to be out of my DD's way... so DD doesn't hurt her - he suggests locking new baby in our bedroom while I take care of DD - how absurd!?! And where in our bedroom does he propose? Having no garage we have to store strollers in there in front of our dressers. Where do we put a baby? I know he wasn't thinking when he came up with this, but seriously, I need real suggestions from him, not obnoxious replies. However, DH doesn't get whatever we chose to put new baby in needs to be prepared and CLEANED... but he'd have no idea how to clean it in the first place. That's MY job... one of the unimportant things I do.

UHG! Sorry, this really turned into a vent session. I think I needed it though. Hope not to be judged, just need as right now I'm feeling very upset and alone in all this.

Message edited 7/17/2009 11:07:40 PM.

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

I enrolled at the local community college, I am going to start taking pre reqs for their nursing program.

I figure if I can work a few 11-7s a month, no one will even miss me.

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Unfortunately it would require another degree, but I got my Master's in Social Work. I feel like I will always have options for employment, and right now, my job is pretty family friendly so I can't complain at all. I often work from home a couple days a week when I am not seeing clients.

I am planning to take the LMSW exam so I have even more options available to me.

I also make a pretty decent salary as far as social work goes, especially here on the island.

I am not sure this will help you, but maybe it will give an idea to someone else in a similar situation. Good luck!

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

I think the other posters' suggestions were pretty good. A teaching career might be an option for you as well -- there's always a teacher shortage in science and math.

Also I feel your pain about a small house. I just want to reassure you about the c-section. You'll be mobile when you get home from the hospital. Can your husband take off a couple of days to help you, when you get home from the hospital. You'll be in virtually no pain at two weeks. Also you might want to think a little bit about decluttering ---- I keep my strollers in the car and I only go to the basement to do laundry.

Maybe you can get a service to come in for a month to help you clean -- it won't be too expensive and it can be your birth present!!

Good luck!

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

I am sorry you feel so overwhelmed right now. I don't have any suggestions about jobs. I am actually a teacher on a leave of absence.

I know how you feel about taking care of a little one after a c-section. When my DD was born in October I had a c-section and my DS was only 12 months old and not walking. I had complications and could not pick him up for at least a month. After that I had pain for 3 months. You should be okay in two weeks. I know I was with my first child. You will just have to find someone to help you for that time, which I know is a pain.

As far as where you can put the baby can you set up a pack and play in the living room. That is what I did. I baby proofed and put gates up in my living room and had the pack and play set up for my DD. It worked out great. When ever I had to change my DD I did it in the pack and play and could watch my DS at the same time. With the gates up blocking the entrance ways I knew he could not go anywhere. Even now that my DD is 8.5 months I still have the pack and play set up. I can't change her in there anymore because I lowered the mattress, but she still plays and naps in their sometimes.

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

What about medical billing? A friend of mine did that in NC and made a pretty penny!

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

What about watching another child? It won't make you rich, but then you could stay at home and be bringing in some extra cash. And don't worry about the house feeling tight. My best friend just found out she's preggo with number 3. Her oldest is 2.5, she just had a baby in February and will be having another next February. And they live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house. They'll make it work, and so you will you.

Re: jobs good for mom's - kind of a vent with new baby on the way

I'm a teacher. The hours are great, and you can't beat summers off.

Of course, you have to take work home with you sometimes, and that's a definite drawback. But overall, I feel very fortunate to have a job I love and to have lots of family time to spend with my daughter