Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

I just have to vent about this...it will probably be too long, but just give me some sympathy on this one please...I am feeling really down about the whole situation.

So, Noah goes to nursery (5 half days a week) at a school at the end of our street, its a Church of England School and we love it. Its local, the other kids onour street go there, and its just a lovely little school with a great ethos. We live about 18 houses away from this school, and more than anything, we want to be a part of this local community. The school is volunatarily aided, which means that some funding is from the church, some funding is from the local council, admissions are open to all.

Well, we didn't get a place there for reception (which is like Kindergarten) we found this out in April, and we have been fighting for a place there since. The school admissions system here is fubar, completely fubar. There are 13 criteria that kids can be acceped under, and the majority of kids accepted this year are siblings of children already in the school, the others are children who go to the Church affilliated with the school regularly. This year, unless you were a sibling, no one of a different faith was admitted. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, we appealed to get a place, stood in front of a board and argued our case, we were unsuccessful, but told we were first on the waiting list, when I checked with school the next week, they told us we were now second on the list a church member had applied and were placed first. Now if you are reading this far, thanks. The Vicar (whom I have known for years and is the father of Noah's best friend) has basically said...you should have gone to church, even though he knows I am Jewish. Had I gone to church even a handful of times, they would have completed a religious reference for me, which is pretty immoral in my eyes...but hey ho.

Anyway, its almost the end of term (school finished on the 23rd July) and I am feeling so sad that we have to take Noah away from all his friends and start him at a completely new school, I have really loved being a part of this school and I have also made lots of friends, so this also saddens me greatly. If you know me, I am a really outgoing person, and I really feel that I have a lot to offer this school, they would benefit from having me as a parent.

So whats prompting me to write this now is that Noah got sent home from school today with a letter inviting him to spend the day with his new teacher on Monday, when they know full well that he does not have a place there, its like a kick in the teeth...and tonight I got a phone call from the school and I thought...OMG this is it, this is our place, and it was a teacher letting me know I won something in a raffle.

If you have read this much, thanks so much, the whole situation is so depressing. We do have places at two other local schools, but one of them I am not keen on, 60% of the children do not speak English in the home, and this worries me greatly from a social and educational point of view, and the other school is a non-uniform school, and its a bit too liberal for me...

Anyway, just venting really.....the school system here is so messed up that some schools do not accept local kids, but the council will PAY for the kids to take a taxi to a different school everyday. How does that makes sense??

Okay...rant over. Thanks for reading if you made it to the end!!!

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

That has to be so frustrating On one hand, I don't know that I'd want my child to go to a school that doesn't accept members of another faith, but I totally get that you want him to stay with his friends and be a part of the community. Shame on you for being Jewish

Since you already live in the area I bet he will stay friends with the other kids that live there too and make a whole new huge group of friends at the other school you send him to. Especially if he's anything like you

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

Rachel - I totally hear you! I cannot get my head around this whole school system. We have a very sweet little C of E school down the road from us with very limited places. It just blows my mind that T wouldn't be able to go to that school. It just seems so obvious to me...! And I've got a Jewish friend (also an American) with a boy the same age as Tristan and she's already started to go to church so that she can ensure a place for her son.

for you. Can you apply again for Noah for next year? Or do you think it would be more upheaval for him to start somewhere and then have to go through leaving the friends he's made over the year next year?

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

That's so frustrating. I hope you get a call tomorrow saying someone dropped out and he can go.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

Posted by usuk2004

Rachel - I totally hear you! I cannot get my head around this whole school system. We have a very sweet little C of E school down the road from us with very limited places. It just blows my mind that T wouldn't be able to go to that school. It just seems so obvious to me...! And I've got a Jewish friend (also an American) with a boy the same age as Tristan and she's already started to go to church so that she can ensure a place for her son.

for you. Can you apply again for Noah for next year? Or do you think it would be more upheaval for him to start somewhere and then have to go through leaving the friends he's made over the year next year?

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

That happens here too. There are two nursery schools near us that take parish members, siblings and then everyone else. It stinks but I guess I understand it.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

Your situation sounds so frustrating. I am so sorry you have to deal with it. I hope everything works out for Noah in his new school

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

Thats frustrating and Im sorry for your little guy, that he has to leave all of this friends.

However, I dont see anything wrong with members of the church that the school is affiliated with getting first dibs, especially since it is partially funded by them. It doesnt sound like they exclude other religions but that their policy to their parishoners is that they get first crack at it, and if there are spaces, others are free to join. For instance, lets say its a Catholic church.....Im Catholic but not a member of their parish, so I would be excluded as well. Not bc of my religion but bc Im not a parishoner. I dont know, while it stinks that you dont have a spot, I dont necessarily disagree with their policy.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

As your sister I think you need to buy him a copy of History of the World Part I.
The mere fact that he said that you should have gone to church is totally immoral...I think if he gets a place and you decide to send him back there, you need to ask about coming and teaching kids about Chanukah. Perhaps you can even broaden the Vicars horizons!

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

FWIW - I also dont think he suggested you go to church in the sense of "well if you werent jewish"...I think he was just saying that based on policy (parishoners first, which is fair, its a private school) had you at least went to a few services, he wouldve looked the other way for you and signed the piece of paper. I dont think he was speaking in regards to moral righteousness or down to you for being Jewish. Just that had you just gone through the motions, he couldve done more. Not that you should, but I think that may be all he meant by it.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

I have no idea how he said it b/c I haven't spoken to her today but to think that a man of religion should understand that suggesting a Jewish family should go to church to get the child into the school just seems very insensitive! We'll find out tomorrow....Racheeeee come in the A.M.!

Message edited 7/14/2010 9:41:08 PM.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

Thanks for all your comments! I agree, there is nothing wrong with parishoners getting the places, what I do have an issue with is that they will sign a religious reference after going to church only 6 times, thats what bothers me. The school is a wonderful ethnic mix, 30% White Christians, 30% Hindu/Muslim and 30% Christians of Caribbean descent. But no mistake, its not a private school, its funded by the church AND the local government, so the church owns the buiding but the school is mainly run by the government. Its so confusing!!!

My other issue is that they have a very small allowance for local children, but its not set out by proximity, its names pulled out of a hat, so children living 10 miles away can get places, but not children living .17 of a mile away...also, it was a huge year for siblings, so if you applied two years ago when the school was not oversubscribed, you were given an automatic place. The school should have been more prepared for this.

I think that the Vicar thinks that going to church six weeks is enough to try to convert someone (I have to stress that they are not pushy, they just want us to share in their community) This church in particular does a lot for the community and is very involved with Muslim women and other religions.

And for my sister, they aren't trying to convert me, the Vicar is a very nice man (as you know, Noah is best friends with his son, and I really like the whole family) and yes, during the Jewish Holidays, I did bring a book about Judaisim in and they also celebrate the Asian holidays, and have regular Mela evenings. Don't worry...And I would have sent JJ to church, not me.

Message edited 7/15/2010 6:49:39 AM.

Re: Just a vent about school admissions...loooong

I'm so sorry that you all are going through this I hope a spot opens up for you all. I don't know that it is all that different than things are at some schools here though. I know when I was looking at preschools in my town - two that are affiliated with the local churches (one is Lutheran and the other a Community Church) has a rule that 1st openings go to families that currently have siblings in the school, followed by families with children who were alumni of the school (older sibling who already graduated) and finally if you are a parishioner you are pretty much guaranteed a spot - then whatever if left goes to an open enrollment. DD's preschool isn't religious but I know her preschool works where siblings and current students get 1st spots, followed by children of alumni of the school and those who live in our town/village (due to the fact that the village gave them the land so they are required to have 80% attendance of students from the town). This makes it very difficult to get into the school if you don't have family attending or that attended OR you don't live in the town.

The one difference though is that if your child is already attending they have a chance to get back in during early enrollment so once you are in - you are "in" for the most part is these schools before an outsider/new student would be admitted. I don't like that they pull a child who is already attending from the school.

As much as I don't love the policy though I can see why a church/temple or other religious organization would offer their members 1st enrollment. Is your spouse jewish as well? Maybe he could attend a few services if he is not and use that to say that your family is associated with the church as much as that pains me to say.

I hope a spot opens up soon