Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

DH and I went out to dinner tonight. Upon going to the bathroom, a mother walks into the ladies room with her son. This child had to be at least 11 or 12 years old. Im thinking, this kid could have easily gone into the bathroom on his own. Or the mom could have waited outside of the men's room for him.

Let's assume that a child is not disabled and does not need any type of assistance. When do you think it is appropriate for a child to use a bathroom belonging to his or her own gender and not use the one of the opposite sex with a parent?

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Oh boy, this topic usually becomes a heated debate on other boards

My son goes into the restroom with me if we are in a very public place (mall, Target, etc.). If we are out to eat, he will go in alone, but I tell him if someone else is in there, to come right back out. I've read one too many stories about kids being molested (or even murdered) in public restrooms. I'm more concerned about his safety than what other people think to be honest. There isn't much to see in a public restroom anyway!

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Posted by Summerrluvv

Oh boy, this topic usually becomes a heated debate on other boards

My son goes into the restroom with me if we are in a very public place (mall, Target, etc.). If we are out to eat, he will go in alone, but I tell him if someone else is in there, to come right back out. I've read one too many stories about kids being molested (or even murdered) in public restrooms. I'm more concerned about his safety than what other people think to be honest. There isn't much to see in a public restroom anyway!

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

You never know how old a kid is or how mature by looking at them Someone may look 12 but is an immature 9 year old.

I completely understand not ever wanting to let my kid ever go into a bathroom with strangers. But I also understand it's an issue of independence.

As long as they're not looking under stalls or old enough to sport facial hair, it doesn't bother me.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

11 or 12 is a bit old to be going to the bathroom with mommy IMO.

I think 8/9 should be a good cut off age.



wanted to add, I dont know what DH is going to do if he is with the girls alone and they have to go to the bathroom there is NO WAY I want him taking them into the mens room beyond a certain age.

Message edited 6/24/2008 10:29:55 PM.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

I don't know since my kids are still younger - although my 5 1/2 year old wanted to use the bathroom at Target himself today and I nixed it. But it depends on the place I guess....honestly I don't know. But I'd rather bring my DS in the ladies room with me and know he's safe than to worry about what people are thinking. Again, I'm the mother of a 5 1/2 year old, maybe my response would be different if he was a few years older.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Leslie, are you starting trouble b4 you're even "officially" on this board?

Being that I only have little Googly, I can only speak NOT from experience...I'd say 8 or 9 depending on where it was.

At school the PK & K boys use the girls room (b/c its right outside our room)

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Posted by SweetCin

Leslie, are you starting trouble b4 you're even "officially" on this board?

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

I have a 4 yo boy and have no plans to let him use a men's room by himself anytime soon. honestly, seeing a boy about 11 or 12 wouldn't really bother me if he came in with him mom. I'll probably be that type of mom. It's really hard to "pick" an age because each child is different and will depend on thier maturity level...

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

MY kids are 15, 12 and 9. None of them would come into the bathroom. Maybe my 9 year old would have to come in if I had to go, but he wouldn't be happy. Nor would I expect my 12 yarold dd to go into a mens bathroom. She would be mortified. I would wait outside for all of them.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Geez Leslie, what are you, bored now that you are done with school and starting drama at the crack of dawn over here???

I think, like others, that 7/8 maybe ok, but I dunno. the only thing is, lets say I'm alone with Cailen and have to go to the bathroom. Even at 11-12, I'd be a wreck that someone will take him!!!! Maybe I'll have my bluetooth or some other technology at that time so he and I can talk on the phone as I'm going so I know he's ok!!!

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Message edited 6/25/2008 6:39:49 AM.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Posted by Summerrluvv

Oh boy, this topic usually becomes a heated debate on other boards

My son goes into the restroom with me if we are in a very public place (mall, Target, etc.). If we are out to eat, he will go in alone, but I tell him if someone else is in there, to come right back out. I've read one too many stories about kids being molested (or even murdered) in public restrooms. I'm more concerned about his safety than what other people think to be honest. There isn't much to see in a public restroom anyway!

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

WOW! This is something I never thought of! I had DS this past March, so I know it will be a long time before I have to deal with this. I will say, that after my mom died (I was 10), I always went into the ladies room by myself. I don;t think it was an issue with my dad. I wonder if that is just a dad thing, or there is something different about a young boy going into a men's room alone. ?????

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

I wrote something like this a few years back (pre-baby). I got alot of the same responses like above. Now that I am a mommy I have to tell you there is absolutely NOTHING I wont do to protect my child. So when you see that 21 yr old male in the ladies room...yep...that would be my son...haha (of course if I have a son ).
You just got me thinking...I couldnt let 10 yr old Gillian in a mens room...I couldnt....they pee with no doors. I couldnt. I guess she will be wearing diapers for a VERY long time

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Although they are a rare find...I like the family restrooms for this exact reason. I wish there were more spaces in more locations. Right now it's okay to use them because DS needs his diaper changed but when he's older I would feel guilty using that for comfort when a parent with a diapered baby would need the room. So there goes that.

My first reaction is that I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter going into the men's room but because she would obviously be with my DH I don't think she would be in harms way...no more than my son coming into the ladies room with me. But then I remember the urinals way too awkward for everyone.

Now I understand why it was so important to go before we left the house.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

Posted by Ang-Rich

Although they are a rare find...I like the family restrooms for this exact reason. I wish there were more spaces in more locations. Right now it's okay to use them because DS needs his diaper changed but when he's older I would feel guilty using that for comfort when a parent with a diapered baby would need the room. So there goes that.

My first reaction is that I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter going into the men's room but because she would obviously be with my DH I don't think she would be in harms way...no more than my son coming into the ladies room with me. But then I remember the urinals way too awkward for everyone.

Now I understand why it was so important to go before we left the house.

Re: Kids in opposite sex bathrooms

I think at 8 they could use the bathroom themself while you wait outside.

I have a now 12 year old stepdaughter. Even though we are both "girls" She wanted to use the bathroom everywhere we went, starting at around 6 years old. Every restaurant, all the time. At about 8-9 years old, if I could see the entrance to the bathroom, I let her go by herself and that made her happy to be a "big girl" going by herself. If it's a huge public place (like a baseball game or something where there is a long line) I will go with her.