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Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
When they do something that is mean and/or dangerous? Should they know better at this point that what they're doing is harmful?
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Posted 5/31/07 1:21 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
I do believe they know when they do something wrong--they also know when to kiss someone when something is wrong.
They might no understand why it is wrong though and need it explained. It depends on the crime,
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| Posted 5/31/07 1:23 PM |
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
I think guilt is a complex thing at that age...
I think they feel compassion when they see other kids cry, so that can make them feel bad if they were the one that caused the tears. But sometimes kids get a kick out of the fact they made someone else upset, so it can go either way....
Mostly, they don't want mommy/daddy/teacher to be upset or angry with them, so they get upset about that. I think eventualy, guilt evolves from that!
Message edited 5/31/2007 2:20:09 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/07 1:38 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
DS definitely acts differently when we yell at him when he does something he shouldn't be doing... he likes to play with his 1yo DD. Usually, he plays fine, but since he's 4, he doesn't understand his own strength, or what DD can handle, so he's a bit rough. When we tell him not to be so rough with his sister, he looks very sad and guilty. Not sure if he totally understands, or how long the guilt lasts, but at least momentarily, I think he understands.
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/feelings_-_toddler.html
By the age of three, your toddler starts to feel emotions such as guilt and shame. He’ll need lots of reassurance and support from you to help him understand these new emotions.
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| Posted 5/31/07 1:40 PM |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
at 17 months old, when we firmly tell DD NO or what she did was not nice, many times she'll fold her arms and put her head down on them and pout because she knows what she did was unacceptable
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| Posted 5/31/07 1:47 PM |
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
But sometimes kids get a kick out of the fact they made someone else upset, so it can go wither way....
This is what upsets and worries me- she's kicked our dog and covered DD with a pillow, and seems to get mad that she's in trouble, but she doesn't feel bad. And I'm very anxious when she's around because I feel like I have to watch her and my baby like a hawk.
This is a relative, so staying away totally is not an option...
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| Posted 5/31/07 2:00 PM |
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Re: Kids who are 3-4 years old- can they feel guilt?
Posted by MrsProfessor
Posted by lipglossjunky73
But sometimes kids get a kick out of the fact they made someone else upset, so it can go either way....
This is what upsets and worries me- she's kicked our dog and covered DD with a pillow, and seems to get mad that she's in trouble, but she doesn't feel bad. And I'm very anxious when she's around because I feel like I have to watch her and my baby like a hawk.
This is a relative, so staying away totally is not an option...
Young children with animals can be a tough thing - I think sometimes they think that animals are toys because they are furry. Especially when a pet is patient and doesnt "fight" back. I have dealt with that with my neices and nephews. I work hard and make sure we "do nice" with their dog, cat, etc....
Maybe she is jealous of the baby and is looking for extra attention? Not that you arent giving her attention, but sometimes kids will seek out all attention - good and bad - especially when they have to compete for it...
What you can try doing is "match" the attention you give her for acting out with attention for making nice...
So, when she is near the baby or your dog, make a big deal at how nice she is being with them (even if she is doing nothing in particular) - give her a lot of "good girl - you are doing... right now - that is great!" Be loud and do a happy dance
Spend time with her and the dog seperately. Model nice petting, and when she does it after you - lots of hugs, kisses, good girls, lift her in the air, whatever it takes. Same thing with your baby, adding what a good big sister she is, etc....
She may also respond nicely to a star chart. Show and explain what she does to earn stars, maybe with cute little pictures of her petting the dog and kissing the baby, for example. After 3-5 stars, she can get special mommy time and go for ice cream....
Good luck!
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| Posted 5/31/07 2:19 PM |
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