KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

EGGS

and I dont mean hard boiled eggs or fried or scrambled eggs

I hope this doesnt come across the wrong way.

My sister's neighbor, who has a son my nephew's age, the boys play together, but theyre not very close.... theyre just geting to know eachother...

so she nicely in a roundabout way told my sister theyve been TTCing and since she's in her mid 40's, her chances are low,and even if she does get preggo, 1 in 10 chance of downs, etc etc.

So "my Dr. told me to ask someone who's under 35, and I thought of you right away, your kids are gorgeous!! I dont have ANY money to pay for something like this, I would babysit for you though to repay you"

Dont get me wrong. We have a family member who Ive posted about that is having TTC issues. I know (not firsthand) how heartbreaking and devastating it can be.
I cant imagine the sadness, the heavy heart, the toll it takes on someone firsthand.

I was just a little shocked that someone asked a neighbor for something like this in such a nonchalant way as if she was asking for a glass of milk...

It's such a hard question to even digest. Especially with the person living down the block, and you barely know them...

I dont know what my reaction is. I guess shock was my first reaction. But I have to step back and wonder how this poor woman is feeling and what she is going through to have had to ask a question like this of someone...

any thoughts ?
dont quote because I'll remove this post if it's felt to be inappropriate.
Im sorry if anyone is offended in any way. Please be honest if I should remove this post.

ETA: My sister has happily, gleefully and PROUDLY given neighbors her breastmilk (upon request!) to help with a baby's eye infection. but with this question, she was a little taken aback.

Message edited 3/5/2007 10:09:56 PM.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

I'm just I don't even know what to say. I feel badly for the woman but how can you ask someone who you aren't close with for something like that???

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

That's extremely bizarre considering they aren't great friends. I'm guessing this woman doesn't have any younger sisters, cousins or any close friends she can ask.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

As someone dealing with infertility, I even think that is a little odd. If you need to ask someone for donor eggs it should be someone you are at least close too.

That is ALOT to ask of a neighbor!!!

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

that is so sad...that woman has reached the point of desperation.. to your sister that's a very awkward position to be in. and to this woman..i can't imagine someone telling me I couldn't have children of my own.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

wow, I'm shocked she made such an intimate request to someone she hardly knows.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Wow, not sure how I would react, I guess shocked is a great way to think that I would.... I feel so much for thos woman to have it come to that

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

in exchange for babysitting?!

I've offered my eggs to 2 very close friend battling IF. Never in a million years would I imagine someone asking someone they didn't know well.

I'll chalk it up to desperate measures on her part but completely bizarre. I wouldn't want 1/2 of my genetics being raised by someone like that.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Wow....

I have to say, you presented this to us in a very unique way - it did make me chuckle - but... WOW!!!

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

That's just bizarre. I'm very sorry for her situation but that is a huge thing to ask of someone who is a casual acquaintance. You can't just ask the person with the cutest kids in the neighborhood. That is something that only your nearest and dearest would do for you. If she doesn't have anyone like that in her life, she has to go get a well paid anonymous donor like everyone else in that situation. Its a big sacrifice to do-it involves meds and procedures. Babysitting services does not cut it. Very strange.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Maybe her neighbor figures, what does she have to lose, maybe she'll get a yes. However, I do think it's inappropriate.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Wow, that definitely takes some chutzpa... I feel for her if she's become this desperate

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Posted by majen

wow, I'm shocked she made such an intimate request to someone she hardly knows.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

that's wildly inappropriate

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

I think I can understand why she would ask someone she is not close with.

If it were me, I think I would feel more weird about asking for my cousin's or a close friend's eggs. If I needed eggs, I'd want them to come from as anonymous a source as possible, actually. But since she can't pay for it, that's not an option for her. So maybe she figured she'd ask someone she knows (because she has to know the person on some level to ask) but is not close with so she doesn't have to deal with awkwardness that I can only imagine would come with conceiving a child with say... your sister's eggs??

I dunno...it's definitely odd... I'm just trying to make some sense of why she would ask a neighbor.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

This is not only strange but leads me to believe that this women has not for a moment thought this all thru. Does she understand what a women must do to donate eggs and the fact that you must be screened beforehand? This is why there are donor egg programs and while they cost money there is a reason. I would want an anymous donor as well, but my neighbor is NOT anymous at all.
I mean, she is baseing her "decision" on the fact that your sister has beautiful children. Hum...what about the fact that there is SOOOO much more involved than just beauty of a child. How does this women know if your sister has medical issues or anything like that?
That is just odd and IMO very out of place.
I do feel for her situation. I am sure she is going thru a very difficult situation but this is just not the proper way to deal with it.
I would be shocked to say the least if someone from my neighborhood asked me this question. What did your sister even say?

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Oh Wow how strange. I do feel bad for her but at the same time it's so strange how she asked so non chalantly. That's not a question you ask non chalantly. I don't know what my reaction would be if I were in your sister's shoes. I'm sure she will tell me about this tonight, we are going out to dinner.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

wow, I feel badly for her. And badly for your sister for being put in such an akward position.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

WOW! How did your sister even respond to that???
I feel badly for her but really, thats not the way to go about it.

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

that is an insane request!

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

I had dinner with your sister last night and she told me the whole story. How wacky. I mean I do feel bad for the woman because she is deserate to have another baby. But still the request was insane. Your sister was like "imagine seeing my biological child running around in the neighborhood".

So weird...

Re: KNOCK KNOCK, It's your neighbor, can I have some

First off, I don't think your post is offensive or inappropriate at all.

I read your post and felt so bad for this woman. It sounds like she is deseperate. Maybe she thought it through. Maybe she didn't. But she is in a low place in her life and for that, I feel sorry for her.

Now I would have the same reaction as you. I don't think I could donate my eggs to someone I didn't know well. I woudl always wonder how my child is being raised and if they are OK. If a sister or close friend asked for my eggs, then I would consider it after learning about and weighing the medical risks. But not for anyone else.