Let's open the smoking can of worms

We've already done dogs and BF recently.

If you have a friend who smokes but you are sensitive to smoke, asthmatic, etc is it appropriate when invited to their home to ask if they smoke in the house.

if the answer is "yes" is it appropriate to ask them not to smoke when you are around, or to decline the invitation for the reason that even if they don't smoke you may still get sick?

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

i would decline the invitation - i wouldnt want someone to tell me what to do in my own house...

however, as a gracious host, you shouldt be smoking when it bothers most people!

When I go to FSILs (they both smoke) - they always ask if its ok (they know I hate smoke) even though its their house - I usually say yes, and when the smoke gets bad I go to the bathroom for a minute

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Fh flat out told FFIL that he can't smoke in the house when I'm around, but he does anyway and then lies about it, so I just don't go there. I find that when people smoke in the house, it's still in the air enough to make me feel sick.

Those are good points. Though I think once you ask about it, the host will realize you're sensitive to the smoke and would probably offer to not smoke while you're there.

A good friend of mine smokes and she lives with her mom and her mom smokes and I can actually tolerate smoke fine if it's outside and the wind is blowing, but indoors I can't tolerate it all. She's always inviting me over, but I feel awkward asking her if she smokes in the house, even though she knows I'm asthmatic and probably would not do it while I'm there, even though many times I am ok stanidng near her outdoors while she smokes

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I have no problem asking someone whether they smoke in their house. I will not ask them to refrain in their own home but I will make my choice about whether to go there at all.

I always ask people whether they have cats. I have a severe allergy to cats.

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I don't bring my children to anyones house who smokes. My DH smokes but he does it outside.

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I absolutely HATE cigarette smoke more than anything in the world. I am not even exaggerating! However if I am invited to someone elses house and they are smoking I do not ask them to stop nor do I take offense, it is not my house. I will politely step away a bit.

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I never ask anyone to stop doing something in their own house...if it bothered me that much I wouldn't accept their invite or meet them somewhere else

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

If you decline an invite because of the smoking, would you tell the host why?

"I'd really love to come, but I think the fact that you smoke in your house would make me sick, even if you don't do it when I'm there"

It sounds rude...really it's self preservation. For me personally I have a weak immune system as it is and if I spend too much time in a smoker's house or car I will literally get sick the enxt day. Something in the cigarette smoke paralyzes the cillia inside your nose that protect you from antigens. Also it just irritates your whole respiratory tract, so it's a double whammy. I'm amazed that smokers aren't sick 24/7

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

i would never allow a smoker to smoke in my house!
i know plenty of people who smoke and all but one of them smoke outside even at their homes

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I know very few smokers. Of those, everyone of them smokes outside of their house.

My brother is one of them. He never smokes around me and never smokes in any house or building. Now that you pretty much can't smoke indoors, I guess he's used to it.

If I knew a smoker and they did smoke in their house I wouldn't tell them what to do in their home but I also would not visit their home knowing they smoke in it.

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

Re: Let's open the smoking can of worms

I recently went to a friends house. They all smoke...all of them. I am very PG & a former smoker. I actually stayed in the kitchen by myself all night b/c not one person felt to curb their habit around me. They all know I am not a fan of the smoking & they all know that I was not having the best PG.

Before PG I would not tell them what to do in their own house, but now that I am PG I absolutely called the next day & made a big deal b/c to me it was rude. I cannot see anyone who is asthmatic feeling any differently than I did.

I also told them that I will no longer go to their home if they cannot at least make an attempt.

Having said that DH smokes (still ) and he is not allowed to smoke in the house. When we have guests they have to go outside just like DH. This started when my mom was going through her cancer treatments & the smoke would actually make her vomit. Ever since then I realized how many people are sensitive to it.