Little disappointed...how would you feel

I'm not having a shower since this will be baby #2 and my family doesn't believe in 2nd showers; however, my parents and grandmother and step grandfather were going to take DH, DD and I to brunch on Sunday at their club for a little party and give us some gifts as a celebration for the new baby. Well, my grandma strikes again! My grandmother is 89 (will be 90 this year) and is still very social and active - and as usual her social life comes before we do. I drive my grandma when her car service can't come to appts I take her out so she can see DD etc. Well this was supposed to be a surprise and I just knew we were going to brunch - but my parents had to cancel b.c although they confirmed the date with her weeks ago she tells them yesterday "oh sunday is my bridge day and sorry I can't miss it you will just have to do it some other time." I should preface this with the fact that she has cancelled lunch dates with DD and I b.c she decided she has some social event she forgot about until the day before or the day of our gtg.

Message edited 3/26/2009 12:32:17 PM.

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

How would *I* feel ??
I'd feel like I got snubbed by my own Grandmother so she could play cards -
And I'd be serioiusly annoyed at the rest of my family for allowing her to dictate EVERYONE's schedule -

But I have serious issues w/ old people and their sense of entitlement and unconditional respect while they walk all over everyone else .........(Obviously not ALL older people are like this)

You don't get a pass to be rude b/c you're 90 - by 90 you SHOULD know how to treat people !!


If she can't make it, that would be fine, I'd be more upset that everything was cancelled for EVERYONE b/c she wanted to play cards -

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

Aw I am sorry, I know what it's like to get your hopes up and than have them ruined...I would be upset as well. But see I have a big mouth and would have probably said something to my grandma like oh grandma we were so looking forward to this and so was DD...but here's a big ...

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

Message edited 3/26/2009 12:43:43 PM.

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

I am so sorry. Can your parents (I dont know whose mom this is) say something to her?
If it were my mom she definitley would have told my grandmother (her MIL) "Enjoy bridge, sorry your missing the brunch".
My parents would not let that happen. Ever. I am so sorry.

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

oh Chris - i am so sorry!

i would feel EXACTLY as you do....

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

I would feel too.

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

I would be really annoyed that she cant cancel ONE day of cards for lunch with her grandchildren/great grandchildren.

I'm sorry that her canceling ruined your whole brunch.

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

People don't change - This is the way she is and how she will always be -

My family (like yours) totally enabled my Grandmother's crap too.
At this point, she's 90 - what can you do?
I'd absolutely be disappointed, but as w/ my own Grandmother I just learned not to be surprised.

She could never be bothered to show up for a dance recital, a cheerleading competition, football game, graduation, awards ceremony, didn't want to come and see my Wedding gown when I picked it out, didn't want to be involved in ANYTHING really .......
But would give my Dad the speech about how I 'never to go see her' ........
You're a better person than I am - At least you go out of your way for her !!

Try not to let it get you down - You'll reschedule and have a great time !

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

Yeah it is just tough b.c we have so much to get done with the baby coming in like 8-9 weeks that I don't think we can reschedule (with palm sunday and easter) until May.

See the funny part is usually she is GOOD about making these things although she acts like the queen of everything - b.c she says she is the matriarch of the family She is also the only living grandparent I have left - (my mom's parents were deaf all their lives and my grandfather died when I was in 2nd grade and my grandmother when I was a freshman in college - my father's dad died when he was in college so I never knew him.)

One of the reasons I'm so excited about having another girl is that I have little to no family - my aunt and uncle and cousins live in TX so I only see my cousins at weddings and deaths, and my aunt only comes up about 1 time a year. I'm and only child and so is my father so - my parents and grandmother and step grandfather are my only family. We really don't do anything with DH's family (but that is another story for another day).

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

I would be very annoyed..... Sorry you had to deal with that

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel

Posted by bellaluna

Posted by MarisaK

How would *I* feel ??
I'd feel like I got snubbed by my own Grandmother so she could play cards -
And I'd be serioiusly annoyed at the rest of my family for allowing her to dictate EVERYONE's schedule -

But I have serious issues w/ old people and their sense of entitlement and unconditional respect while they walk all over everyone else .........(Obviously not ALL older people are like this)

You don't get a pass to be rude b/c you're 90 - by 90 you SHOULD know how to treat people !!


If she can't make it, that would be fine, I'd be more upset that everything was cancelled for EVERYONE b/c she wanted to play cards -

ITA

Re: Little disappointed...how would you feel