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Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

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Name:
Stephanie

Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Well, DH and I went to meet with the deacon at the roman catholic church and were talking to him about picking godparents (sponsors as he called them) for the baby

He said they would:

1) need to be practicing catholics (with a letter from their church)
2) If married, they would have needed to be married in the church

Well my sister and BIL were married in a civil ceremony and everyone else I know are heathens who do not regularly go to church

What a mess Chat Icon

Message edited 9/29/2006 10:30:47 AM.

Posted 9/29/06 9:37 AM
 
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

Do you mean Godparents?

Personally, and this is just my opinion...the church and it's rules are a joke half of the time.

Posted 9/29/06 9:46 AM
 

CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14021 total posts

Name:

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

That seems like quite a bit to ask of people. I know with the church we are using, St. Patrick, only one of the godparents needs to be baptised Catholic and the other will serve as a Christian witness. This was also the case with my godchild as I am not Catholic so I stood up as a Christian witness.

Posted 9/29/06 9:49 AM
 

IrishTracy
Believe!!

Member since 5/05

15167 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

You can be a practicing catholic & not be a memeber of the church. I say you pick another church for your child to be christened in.

Posted 9/29/06 9:49 AM
 

2003fallwedding
SISTERS!!!

Member since 5/05

4317 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

My church never asked for proof of baptism or asked how they were married. All they asked was were they catholic (and it didn't have to be roman catholic) and were they baptised.

Posted 9/29/06 9:55 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

I am a godmother to a child who only has one Catholic parent and those parents weren't married in the church. I did have to have a letter from my parish stating that I was a practicing Catholic, but his godfather is not Catholic.

Ask to talk to someone with a bit more seniority or go to another parish. These requirements seem to vary from parish to parish depending on who is working there.

Posted 9/29/06 10:06 AM
 

pmpkn087
Life is good...

Member since 9/05

18504 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

I agree that maybe you should look into another church.

I am Lutheran and the Godmother to a Catholic baby. Most Catholic churches ask that the Godparent be a full member (meaning are baptized, communion and confirmation) in the Christian community.

Posted 9/29/06 10:11 AM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" grandparents

Posted by MrsJ

Do you mean Godparents?

Personally, and this is just my opinion...the church and it's rules are a joke half of the time.



Oops, let me fix that Chat Icon

Posted 9/29/06 10:30 AM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by pmpkn087

I agree that maybe you should look into another church.

I am Lutheran and the Godmother to a Catholic baby. Most Catholic churches ask that the Godparent be a full member (meaning are baptized, communion and confirmation) in the Christian community.




See my sister was baptized, cristened and confimed but since she was not married in a catholic church, she cannot be a sponsor. I will ask around at some other churches and see what they say

The deacon said we only need one sponsor....I think we can "unofficially" pick 2 godparents that we want to use

Posted 9/29/06 10:32 AM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

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Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by IrishTracy

You can be a practicing catholic & not be a memeber of the church. I say you pick another church for your child to be christened in.




I agree with Tracy look at other churches.

Posted 9/29/06 11:04 AM
 

Moehick
Ready for the sun!

Member since 5/05

30339 total posts

Name:
Properly perfect™

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Pick another church

Posted 9/29/06 11:09 AM
 

beachgirl
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7967 total posts

Name:
sara

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Pick another church or another deacon as its not a hard and fast rule. Its entirely up to the deacon or priest involved as to who much info they need. DD's godmother is catholic but godfather is not.

Posted 9/29/06 11:13 AM
 

LisaI
Momma's Little Beans

Member since 1/06

3923 total posts

Name:

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Pick another church in my opinion. I am roman catholic and was told that as long as one of them are catholic than it is fine.

Posted 9/29/06 11:15 AM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

I also think you should find another church.

Posted 9/29/06 11:15 AM
 

CHRISTINEL
My lil Princess... ;)

Member since 7/06

1590 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

I am going through the same ordeal.
At first they told me since I wasnt married in a church I am not married in the eyes of god so the Decon called my house numberr of times so we can get married in church

Then he told me I couldnt pick who I wanted until I told him the deal I pick the people you make it work .

He told me that he can put the Godparents as Witnesses and that was the best he can do.

So what Witnesses , Godparents
as long as you teach youre child who you picked to be Godparents who really cares on what the paper says.

I think the Church is horrible. With all the things the priests were doing they are luckly to have us come to church with our child to raise them as Christans

Posted 9/29/06 11:31 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Yeah me too! Find another church!

Posted 9/29/06 11:32 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by Moehick

Pick another church



I agree

Posted 9/29/06 11:51 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Don't worry Steph! I am available!Chat Icon just kidding.

That is a bummer. You are trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately I have a feeling that the churches around here are strict. Mine has an expectant mother mass this weekend. I will ask around to get info for you. I am at St. Gabriel's right now, but I haven't registered with them since we are moving.

I think the parish that I am joining is going to be strict though. I am okay with my sister and I have a brother who goes to church, neither married...my problem is going to lie in dear old I hate religion Leo.

ETA: I have also found that most churches down here are "zoned" I tried registering at one in Dilworth, and couldn't. I had no idea St. Gabriels was "my" church.

Message edited 9/29/2006 12:16:21 PM.

Posted 9/29/06 12:15 PM
 

dottiemchugh
<3

Member since 5/05

8261 total posts

Name:

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

My church said nothing about them having to be married in a church. Me and DH were married at our hall and were allowed to have DS baptized. All churches are different when it comes to these things. Can you go to another church?

Posted 9/29/06 12:20 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by dottiemchugh

My church said nothing about them having to be married in a church. Me and DH were married at our hall and were allowed to have DS baptized. All churches are different when it comes to these things. Can you go to another church?



I think that Janice said, the churches down south may be stricter. I will have to wait and see what I can do about this Chat Icon

Posted 9/29/06 12:23 PM
 

sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!

Member since 10/05

20369 total posts

Name:
Jesss, duh.

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Definitely pick another church! My sister asked DH and I to be the godparents of her second son. I am Jewish and DH is not a practicing Catholic. First church told us the same thing your church did. The church down the block (also Roman Catholic) didn't care at all!

Posted 9/29/06 12:37 PM
 

Corinne
My munchkins

Member since 5/05

5010 total posts

Name:
corinne

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

st patricks in huntington is not that strick.
my brother who is catholic but doesnt go to church was the god father and my sister in law who declares no religion but was raised catholic was the god mother and they didnt ask for documentation. they ask that they are practicing but dont haveto be. i spoke with the guy who did the class for baptism and told him my situation about my sil and he said as long as she was baptized and communion and confimation thats fine.

Posted 9/29/06 1:08 PM
 

Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man

Member since 2/06

3235 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

The problem with the Catholic Church is that there isn't any uniformity. Each church follows it's own rules. I just pulled out my copy of Catechism of the Catholic Church (yes, I know, I am a geek) and under Baptism, there isn't anything that says if the Godparents are married, they must be married in the Church. All it says is that "they must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized - child or adult - on the road of Christian life". You will notice it says "Christian life" not "Catholic life". I know for a fact that you can have Godparents who are not Catholic, just baptized Christians. As I said, all Catholic Churches are different. I would look around for another one who can help you. I think this deacon needs to take another look at his Catechism and show you where it states the things he said.

Posted 9/29/06 2:50 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by Maathy317

The problem with the Catholic Church is that there isn't any uniformity. Each church follows it's own rules. I just pulled out my copy of Catechism of the Catholic Church (yes, I know, I am a geek) and under Baptism, there isn't anything that says if the Godparents are married, they must be married in the Church. All it says is that "they must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized - child or adult - on the road of Christian life". You will notice it says "Christian life" not "Catholic life". I know for a fact that you can have Godparents who are not Catholic, just baptized Christians. As I said, all Catholic Churches are different. I would look around for another one who can help you. I think this deacon needs to take another look at his Catechism and show you where it states the things he said.



I am going to revisit this with him when I can, thanks for all the info Chat Icon

Posted 9/29/06 3:18 PM
 

Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man

Member since 2/06

3235 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Looks like my poor baby will not have any "official" godparents

Posted by stephanief

Posted by Maathy317

The problem with the Catholic Church is that there isn't any uniformity. Each church follows it's own rules. I just pulled out my copy of Catechism of the Catholic Church (yes, I know, I am a geek) and under Baptism, there isn't anything that says if the Godparents are married, they must be married in the Church. All it says is that "they must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized - child or adult - on the road of Christian life". You will notice it says "Christian life" not "Catholic life". I know for a fact that you can have Godparents who are not Catholic, just baptized Christians. As I said, all Catholic Churches are different. I would look around for another one who can help you. I think this deacon needs to take another look at his Catechism and show you where it states the things he said.



I am going to revisit this with him when I can, thanks for all the info Chat Icon



I hope you do and if so, tell him to go to page 320, paragraph 1255, line 1311 and ask him to read what it says.
What he is telling you is not what is required by the Vatican Council, but, what his church wants. I HATE when churches do this and they wonder why people are leaving the church in droves. Instead of making it welcoming, they make it difficult. AAARRRGGGGHHHH!Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/29/06 3:50 PM
 
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