Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

I just wanted to know if anyone lost any friends after they found out they're pregnant.

So far all of my friends have been super supportive of my pregnancy and I even had a couple of friends join the club. I just have one friend who was pregnant a year ago and I was super supportive of her during her pregnancy and when I told her I was pregnant she just stopped talking to me.

I was wondering if anyone was in the same boat as me.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

Not exactly same situation..but i lost my best friend for about a year. She was having fertility issues, and told me she couldn't be around me once i announced my pregnancy..she didn't even come to my shower or correspond with me. While i understand she was going through something difficult, i thought what she did was a little drastic. I could understand not coming to my shower, but she could have emailed with me or talked to me on the phone. Oh and the ironic part of the story is that in the end she ended up having her second kid before me...took a while before my DH was ready for number 2 (which frustrated me) and then when he was i suffered a miscarriage. I am over it for the most part, but i will never forget what she did.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

I'm going through this now with my bf since hs. We barely talk now that I'm having my second. She doesn't have any kids for years she said she never wanted kids although I suspected she always did. I know her and husband ttc for a little while. She has complicated relationship with her dh and I know money is tight so I think that is why they stopped ttc. When I told her I was going back to the RE ttc number 2 and she became distant. When I told her I was pg she said I " wasn't being fair and don't let her catch up". I feel for her because I know she wants to have children. I just don't know how to act or what to say without making her feel bad. There is just this strange awkwardness between us now.

Message edited 3/27/2012 10:29:36 AM.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

Luckily, my three best friends all recently had babies, so I think we are actually getting closer. However, I do have one friend who has definitely gotten weird with me since I've gotten pregnant. Whenever I bring up my pregnancy or the baby, she changes topics or brings up some one else's baby. She is dating one of DH's best friends and he has been giving DH a hard time for not going out at much. They are still in a college mind set where they like to go out and get drunk every weekend.

I think it is just hard for those who don't understand, to realize that your priorities change.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

One friend of mine who is 38 and unmarried with no children has not contacted me since I told her I was pregnant 8 weeks ago. But I know its a sensitive subject for her so I understand if she wants distance.

Most of my other friends have kids (recently too) so like a PP said we have gotten closer.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

I'm 25 and none of my friends are even married yet - (although a few of them will be this fall) they still are going out and partying. We've kind of drifted since DH and I started dating a few years ago since we don't do the same things anymore. We've recently started talking more since they found out I was pregnant. Whenever I talk to my close friends though it's like we never lost touch. I think you kind of go through different stages with your friends - but if they're your real friends, they'll always stick around and it'll seem like no time has passed.

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

Tas, I hope this is not who I think it is. I was just wondering the other day about the two of you and if she has been giving you the same kind of attention you gave her when she was pregnant. The relationship always seemed a little one sided

Re: Lost friends after finding out you were pregnant?

Lurking. . and figured I'd respond from the complete opposite perspective

I am not currently pregnant... but have gone through numerous losses at various stages of pregnancies, all from fertility drugs.. etc. and currently in the surrogacy process.

I have found that distancing myself from friends who are pregnant makes no sense because deep down, it's the person I like- and them being pregnant does not change who they are or the many qualities I liked about them before the pregnancy. What I HAVE noticed is some friends have gotten pregnant .. or had their babies.. and knowing how much I'm struggling with starting a family, they have distanced THEMSELVES from ME! I'm assuming they think it's awkward to be around me with our situations being so different- but for me personally, that makes me feel like I've experienced even more loss. It's interesting though, how it works both was as far as people ending friendships over this kind of thing.

It's too bad that things like pregnancy .. etc.. can hurt friendships. I think it stems from jealousy. I try not to let it effect MY relationships with people- because if I was so determined to avoid every pregnant or mommy friend, I'd be limiting myself to talking to the wall 70%of the time!

Message edited 3/27/2012 8:24:03 PM.