Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Do things get better? Do the eating issues go away on their own?

I am becoming more and more aware of Cai's eating issues - especially when he is around other kids his age....

I'll be honest. I'm on top of so many things in his life - mostly his general behavior, that I don't have it in me to fight this battle. His speech is advanced, ...he is insanely intelligent so it's not like he will get any services just for feeding and eating.

But He gags, he vomits, he refuses food on his plate. I work full time. Some days I don't see him at all. The one meal I have him most days - in the evening when I am tired, and he is starving - it is just not worth it to me.

He eats the same thing for breakfast every morning - 1 yobaby yogurt, and then some fruit like grapes, strawberries, blueberries, or apple. Those are the only fruits he will eat, but if he could live on them he would. Once in a while he will agree to a banana.

Dinner and other meals consist of one of the following:

Mac n cheese
Soy hot dogs or soy nuggets
avocado
edamame
whole wheat pasta with butter
pizza (under duress)
cooked peas

snacks include:

Crackers
veggie sticks (the crunchy corn snack things)
pretzels
fruit (see above)
corn chips
popcorn
pirate booty
soy cheese slices
string cheese
smoothies
Dried cranberries


Other snacks he likes but we limit are:

cheese doodles
swedish fish
red licorice
gummy candy
sorbet

He drinks water, juice, and milk

The above are pretty much the only things he will eat. He hates chocolate, cookies, cake, things like that. He doesn't like sweet except for gummy candies. Getting him to eat is a long, laborous task. He CAN eat, he has no problems with chewing and swallowing (he used to choke on anything with texture - I mean, really choke - very scary). Now, anything new causes him to gag, and sometimes vomit. All over the place!!! And then it will forever be aversive...

The only thing he truly enjoys eating are fruit. When he is starving, he will eat one of the above meals, but a lot of the time he will only eat when we threaten him by saying he can't have snacks (snacks are his favorite - one of the abolve listed snacks - again, usually fruit - lately grapes)

A part of me wonders - is this really a big deal? Most of what he will eat is healthy. But he is always hungry. And I dread when I have to feed him. I dread hearing him say "Mommy I'm hungry" and then have him say no to everything. Then he winds up not eating, or eating something that doesn't fill him up.

I am at a loss. He is not scrawny - in fact he is very healthy looking, muscular, athletic and active. So again I wonder if I should pursue this or let him outgrow it. I am just worried this is somehting he won't outgrow - it will just get worse....

We spent the weekend with a boy his age and he eats whatever the parents are eating - just a plate with a little bit less. I feel like that is what most kids are doing at 3 and a half.... But maybe I'm wrong?

any input would be appreciated!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

I don't have much input other than to say we struggle with this with Miranda big time. It's all part of her SPD I believe and honestly I just don't care at this point. She's eating her usuals (waffles just about every day for breakfast, PB crackers, 1 cookie and a fruit for lunch and usually noodles for dinner).
I am not going to go the feeding clinic route at this point. I am hoping she grows out of in time. She's been a bit more willing to taste new things (a very little bit) so I'm just trying to latch onto that. She usually says gross but trying it is a start.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Lily isn't a great eater....and she eats about half of the variety Cailen eats.
I don't stress about it. Sometimes, she'll eat the same thing 3 days in a row.... sometimes, we'll make her switch it up a little. But she never eats a lot of anything, and she rarely tries anything new.
We can never just make a meal and give her some of what we're eating...she'd never eat because she refuses. And I'm not about to make meals a battle because I don't want her using her food as control. I have no desire for eating disorders!
The one thing we will do is insist that she eats a certain amount of something before she gets a treat. So this afternoon, she had to eat 3 of her 5 nuggets to get a cookie. If we hadn't done that, she would have eaten 1 nugget and went along with her day.

She doesn't have any choking issues...never has....so I have no idea what her deal is! She's just a princess!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

hey liza, i'm the mother of alll eating issues!
josh is the same age and he used to vomit 4+ x a day when he was younger during meals/he still once in a while will gag and vomit on food. he is also tested WAY above average verbally, socially and cognitively BUT i managed to get him speech 2 x 30 with cpse bc i stress that this IS an educational issue bc if he is does not get proper nutrition then he can focus and learn. basically i faught my azz off and finally won. he has never had any articulation issues but he did have reduced movement in his tongue when he was 2 so he couldn't create a bolus and the food would be all over his tongue and he'd gag and vomit. does cai have the proper movement in his tongue and jaw for chewing and swallowing? you can always work on desensitization at home to reduce hyper active gag (if that is an issue) and strengthen his oral muscles. it may help with the vomiting. that is what josh gets at school. i bought every oral motor tool available and made some myself and it has made a HUGE difference with his gag issue.

as far as food, does he like to prepare it himself? i have josh literally cook his own food and that helps a lot. does he like sandwiches at all? he can cut shapes too. anything to make it fun and get him involved.
will he eat with distraction? tv or telling stories, little figit toys etc? do you think it is behavioral?
i'm assuming you have tried a reward system for eating meals? meals are our main issue with josh so when things were going bad a few weeks ago we ended up taking away all his vehicles. every day he starts with a clean slate and if he eats a decent meal (not a lot just enough and in an appropriate way and time) he earns any 2 cars he wants to play with till the next meal and then we start again. no eat= no cars. some may think this isn't a great way to do things but it works for us and we have tried everything including letting him "starve". my 1 1/2 yr old eats faster, more and nicer then josh at this point without this system. and he has eating issues too (sensory and low oral muscle tone.). but i always give josh choices and things to dip into bc he likes sauces. i try to give him the power so we struggle less. all in all he eats a huge variety of food but it is a daily power struggle just to eat. he is soooooo slow.
oh and pediasure is always an option if you worry about nutrition.
if you don't think his health is at risk and he eats 1 meal a day then most parents wand doctors say not to fight it and he will eventually eat better... (that just wasn't our case.)
sorry if i rambled, hope some of this makes sense!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

your DS is actually doing much better than mine. Did he have reflux when he was a baby? My DS is 26 months and can not eat a piece of fruit, it has to be pureed. veggies have to be cut into minuscule pcs. he eats oatmeal every day . just a terrible eater, gags and vomits. today I gave him yogurt and he threw up. he will never eat sweets. my PED suggested he may have texture issues , but she wouldn't go into it until he is 2.5. my DS will eat pasta but is cooked to beyond mush!

I feel like everyone questions us, when will our DS eat normal food, why won't he eat pasta, meatballs , pizza etc. my DS is also very skinny, so the good thing about your DS is he is a healthy weight.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Sadie is INSANE with her eating habits.

I sometimes get frustrated but really... whatever... she is always in the 90's percentile wise and she wont be this bad forever .... at least I hope not.

She would LIVE on fruit if she could....she screams and cries for it all the time.

She eats pancakes and sometimes a banana for breakfast.

Lunch is a yogurt, applesauce, string cheese, and if we are lucky some kind of turkey cold cuts/grilled cheese

Dinner....nightmare.

Mac and cheese
pizza
grilled cheese
FRUIT

SHe will refuse all food and beg for cantaloupe, blueberries and strawberries many days.

She eats cheerios, goldfish, crackers for snacks.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

I think most kids are picky at that age and to me, that's not the issue. The issue is that he's hungry all the time. My DS had an eating issue and the ped said not to make mealtimes stressful but to still get him to try new food. We made him try one bite of what we were eating - sometimes he liked it, sometimes he didn't. Once we figured out what was wrong, it took a long time to fix it - he was hungry all the time and eating almost nothing. Now, he eats a lot and is slowly adding new foods to his menu. I don't know how forthcoming your DS will be with you, but if you can figure out why he eats so slowly and so little (if it's not a physical issue) you may be able to work on it. I know it's not easy but try to be very patient and not attach any negative meaning to eating - it will only make things worse.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Posted by Palebride

Lily isn't a great eater....and she eats about half of the variety Cailen eats.
I don't stress about it. Sometimes, she'll eat the same thing 3 days in a row.... sometimes, we'll make her switch it up a little. But she never eats a lot of anything, and she rarely tries anything new.
We can never just make a meal and give her some of what we're eating...she'd never eat because she refuses. And I'm not about to make meals a battle because I don't want her using her food as control. I have no desire for eating disorders!
The one thing we will do is insist that she eats a certain amount of something before she gets a treat. So this afternoon, she had to eat 3 of her 5 nuggets to get a cookie. If we hadn't done that, she would have eaten 1 nugget and went along with her day.

She doesn't have any choking issues...never has....so I have no idea what her deal is! She's just a princess!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

i'm always saying josh is like a high priced lawyer the way he wheels and deals! i say 3 1/2 more bites (bc he is 3 1/2) and he says just 3 bites mommy bc i'm really only 3 and in may i'll be 4 so i'll eat more then. of course if you ask him how old he is he will say 3 1/2. maybe we should open an prek law school for our brainy fast talking no eating kids!

good luck!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Posted by Palebride

Lily isn't a great eater....and she eats about half of the variety Cailen eats.
I don't stress about it. Sometimes, she'll eat the same thing 3 days in a row.... sometimes, we'll make her switch it up a little. But she never eats a lot of anything, and she rarely tries anything new.
We can never just make a meal and give her some of what we're eating...she'd never eat because she refuses. And I'm not about to make meals a battle because I don't want her using her food as control. I have no desire for eating disorders!
The one thing we will do is insist that she eats a certain amount of something before she gets a treat. So this afternoon, she had to eat 3 of her 5 nuggets to get a cookie. If we hadn't done that, she would have eaten 1 nugget and went along with her day.

She doesn't have any choking issues...never has....so I have no idea what her deal is! She's just a princess!

Message edited 11/27/2010 11:12:14 PM.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

This just seems so common - I always ask myself - how many kids had these issues before all these services were available? At some point kids have got to outgrow this stuff, or figure out ways to accomodate their issues!

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

my son is 15months and i go through the same thing he refuses everything but milk and yogurt then we get constipation issues i fear feeding him alone he wont eat we have to entertain him at all times my mom will hold him and my sister will entertain and i spoon feed him this works for him he actually will open his mouth and eat

its so hard i have tried evertyhing but nothing works

even today for dinner he ate nothing bc i was alone and he wouldnt work with me

i dont know what to do either any input will help.

Message edited 11/27/2010 11:29:21 PM.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

I'm having terrible eating issues with DS, but he's only 15 months so there's not too many strategies that will work with him. He has been getting a lot worse lately and will only eat a few bites of a handful of different foods. He is basically on a liquid diet with BM and pediasure. We ruled out any medical issues first. The foods he will eat are a variety of textures so it's not sensory related and he doesn't gag or choke so it's not a chewing or swallowing issue. It seems like in his case it is behavioral combined with a low appetite. Because he is not gaining weight and his eating issues are pretty severe, we are getting an evaluation through EI with a speech/feeding therapist. I'm hoping he qualifies since there are no delays in any areas at all.

I wish I had advice for you, but I'm at a loss as to what to do myself. In reading about feeding clinics, they use ABA techniques in cases where it is a purely behavioral problem and I know you are an expert in this area. It's hard to know how to handle it though, because you don't want to make the issue worse than it already is. I would talk to your pediatrician about it and see what they say.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

I think that's pretty much normal. Lance has never had any feeding issues and he eats a very limited variety of foods.

He doesn't gag/vomit if I give him something new, he just stores it all in his cheeks and tries to spit it out when I'm not looking. Lol.

Do you think it's possible that Cai is throwing up new foods just so you won't give them to him again? Like hey this new food is gross, if I yack it up all over the kitchen floor, my mom won't ever try that again.

Unless you feel he has a medical issue, I would leave it alone.

As for the folded napkin, sliced fruit, etc... Maybe he's not comfortable with food and that makes him feel secure. To me it's not that much different than a child who needs to sleep with their favorite stuffed animal.

I'm guessing that he will grow out of it... I'm mean, at some point he'll take a girl on a date to a restaurant that doesn't serve soy nuggets and he'll have to adjust. At least that's my hope for Lance.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Posted by KerriSteve

I think that's pretty much normal. Lance has never had any feeding issues and he eats a very limited variety of foods.

He doesn't gag/vomit if I give him something new, he just stores it all in his cheeks and tries to spit it out when I'm not looking. Lol.

Do you think it's possible that Cai is throwing up new foods just so you won't give them to him again? Like hey this new food is gross, if I yack it up all over the kitchen floor, my mom won't ever try that again.

Unless you feel he has a medical issue, I would leave it alone.

As for the folded napkin, sliced fruit, etc... Maybe he's not comfortable with food and that makes him feel secure. To me it's not that much different than a child who needs to sleep with their favorite stuffed animal.

I'm guessing that he will grow out of it... I'm mean, at some point he'll take a girl on a date to a restaurant that doesn't serve soy nuggets and he'll have to adjust. At least that's my hope for Lance.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Palebride

Lily isn't a great eater....and she eats about half of the variety Cailen eats.
I don't stress about it. Sometimes, she'll eat the same thing 3 days in a row.... sometimes, we'll make her switch it up a little. But she never eats a lot of anything, and she rarely tries anything new.
We can never just make a meal and give her some of what we're eating...she'd never eat because she refuses. And I'm not about to make meals a battle because I don't want her using her food as control. I have no desire for eating disorders!
The one thing we will do is insist that she eats a certain amount of something before she gets a treat. So this afternoon, she had to eat 3 of her 5 nuggets to get a cookie. If we hadn't done that, she would have eaten 1 nugget and went along with her day.

We do this too - I also don't want to make this such a big control issue.... Not sure if this is the best idea, but I'll put more on his plate anticipating the negotiation. This gives him the false sense of control when we discuss exactly how much needs to be consumed in order to get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I swear I am dealing with a high priced lawyer - down to defining what "eating" means of certain items!

Posted by LoveBeingMrsT

as far as food, does he like to prepare it himself? i have josh literally cook his own food and that helps a lot. does he like sandwiches at all? he can cut shapes too. anything to make it fun and get him involved.
will he eat with distraction? tv or telling stories, little figit toys etc? do you think it is behavioral?
i'm assuming you have tried a reward system for eating meals? meals are our main issue with josh so when things were going bad a few weeks ago we ended up taking away all his vehicles. every day he starts with a clean slate and if he eats a decent meal (not a lot just enough and in an appropriate way and time) he earns any 2 cars he wants to play with till the next meal and then we start again. no eat= no cars. some may think this isn't a great way to do things but it works for us and we have tried everything including letting him "starve".

I tried getting him to cook with me - he likes the cooking part - the eating - not so much - but I signed him up for cooking at daycare and he is more apt to try things when I'm removed from the equation - which does tell me it IS behavioral. Your approach is spot on and exactly what I do with Cai. We always have a hostage usually it means he gets a sticker for trying something new (a tiny lick without throwing up), or 2 stickers for chewing and swallowing - usually a microscopic amount. He also will get to watch his favorite movie (Star Wars). Again - it's like dealing with a lawyer - how much will get the sticker, what is considered a taste versus a bite versus eating...

Posted by maybesoon

your DS is actually doing much better than mine. Did he have reflux when he was a baby? My DS is 26 months and can not eat a piece of fruit, it has to be pureed. veggies have to be cut into minuscule pcs. he eats oatmeal every day . just a terrible eater, gags and vomits. today I gave him yogurt and he threw up. he will never eat sweets. my PED suggested he may have texture issues , but she wouldn't go into it until he is 2.5. my DS will eat pasta but is cooked to beyond mush!

I feel like everyone questions us, when will our DS eat normal food, why won't he eat pasta, meatballs , pizza etc. my DS is also very skinny, so the good thing about your DS is he is a healthy weight.

At 26 mts old he could not eat anything whole - everyhting had to be cut up into tiny pieces!

He is the opposite - will eat yogurt but throws up with oatmeal! He IS a healthy weight though - and continues to grow, topping the charts!

As for the questions - I ignore them....

Posted by Jen2999

Sadie is INSANE with her eating habits.

I sometimes get frustrated but really... whatever... she is always in the 90's percentile wise and she wont be this bad forever .... at least I hope not.

She would LIVE on fruit if she could....she screams and cries for it all the time.

She eats pancakes and sometimes a banana for breakfast.

Lunch is a yogurt, applesauce, string cheese, and if we are lucky some kind of turkey cold cuts/grilled cheese

Dinner....nightmare.

Mac and cheese
pizza
grilled cheese
FRUIT

SHe will refuse all food and beg for cantaloupe, blueberries and strawberries many days.

She eats cheerios, goldfish, crackers for snacks.

Anyone for a dinner party?

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

I am having the same issues with my son as well. He used to be a great eater, but once he his 2 1/2 he basically only eats a few things. It is extremely frustrating. I don't know how to get him to eat a well balanced meal any more.

Re: Moms of kids with eating issues... (Long)

Sorry, but I have no answers for you. We are seeing DSs pediatrician for his 3 year visit, and I feel his eating has only gotten worse since his 2 year visit, so I want to talk about it with her.

Like Callen, he had major gagging/vomiting issues when he was introduced to table foods. He did choke a couple times, so at some point I gave up on them and tried them again when he was a little over a year. Before that, he did great with pureed baby foods--he ate almost everything I gave him. We actually continued pureed veggies until he was past 2, then he refused those. He has not touched a veggie in close to a year, other than tomato sauce. He wound up getting speech services and some therapy to address eating issues, most of it involved exercises to firm up his cheek muscles (he had low tone). After that, he stopped gagging and ate much better--his speech therapist (also licensed to offer eating therapy) felt he handles food and a variety of textures just fine, he's just extremely picky about what he eats.

At this point, I don't even put food he doesn't like on his plate. He flys into a rage if I do, and dashes into the kitchen and throws it out. No discipline seems to help with this, he just won't do it. Maybe as some have suggested, a rewards system (for at least trying foods) will help, I don't know. Evenings have become miserable in our house though--most of the time is spent getting him to come to the table, then getting him to eat some part of his meal. Like you, we could never give him what we eat--he just won't eat for meals on end. This is the advice most people give me, but I feel like they are talking about a different sort of eating problem all together, just doesn't work for my kid. Most who share this advice seem to have reasonably decent eaters. I sometimes wonder if we missed some window of food introduction because of the gagging/choking and by the time he could handle table food, he was very set in his ways.

He's in daycare, and the same there--I hoped seeing other kids eat different foods would help him, but no deal--he just won't eat. Can't tell you how many days he tells me he had ketchup and crackers for lunch.

But again, the variety and the amount of food DS eats is very limited--I do worry that he is not getting the nutrition he needs, and I think he's cranky/moody so often because he's hungry. When I do hit upon the magic thing that he will eat on a given day, he will eat ravenously--sometimes asking for multiple servings. So the kid is hungry--but he won't eat what is put in front of him.

to you. I know this is hard to deal with.